My name is Chen Yan, 28 years old, from a small county in Anhui.
I was a well-behaved girl who listened to her parents since I was a child.
After getting married at the age of 27, my mother-in-law was an aunt I had known since childhood, and she has lived a completely different life ever since.
Before I got married, I had a boyfriend who loved me very much, his name was Sun Hao, his college classmate, he had a sunny personality, and he could have unexpected surprises every day with him.
When we went on a date in a small park at night, he could always jump up and take out some snacks on the beam of a pavilion in the small park, sometimes a bottle of milk, sometimes two lollipops, sometimes my favorite spicy strips, and every time I was particularly curious to ask him, how can there be food on it? He said you guessed... I said the park was yours, and he laughed.
I kissed his face affectionately, he hugged me tightly and said let's get married when we graduate, I nodded, and he hugged me tighter.
After graduation, we all stayed in the same city of Wuhan, 25 years old, Sun Hao was promoted, he hugged me and said marry me, National Day we went home to see our parents.
I told my parents on the phone about me and Sun Hao, I didn't expect my parents to react very fiercely, saying that they didn't agree with anything, and my mother said that they didn't care about love, but when they got married, they had to find a family, and they knew the roots, so they were at ease.
Because of this, I got into a fight with my family and didn't call back for a month.
A month later my father called me and said my mother had breast cancer, and the doctor said it was already advanced.
I was at work, crying and going to ask the leader for leave, I called Sun Hao, he asked me not to worry, he booked a ticket to accompany me back.
We went directly to the hospital, my mother was originally a little fat, now thin into a skin bag bone, I held my mother and cried uncontrollably, obviously the last time I came back, my mother also made me my favorite edamame tofu and burnt cakes.
It's fate trickery.
I asked the doctor to save my mother, and the doctor said that there was no need for surgery in the advanced stage of breast cancer, so let's accompany my mother well, try not to stimulate her, and accompany her to spend her last days.
A week later, Sun Hao and I returned to Wuhan, and he couldn't always be with me when he had a job, and I went back to hand over the work and then go through the resignation procedures.
After the handover, I went straight home, and I wanted to accompany my mother at the last time.
Mom scolded me after she knew I quit, how hard is it to get a decent job now? You, you told you not to worry about me, I have your father to take care of, obedient to go to work.
Dad said to come back, find a job at home, a girl ran so far to work, we are not at ease.
My tears kept sliding down like broken pearls, and my mother herself was sick like that, still worried about me, which was really pitiful to the hearts of my parents.
But where does my mother know that I also feel sorry for her, and I want to accompany her on the last journey more than work.
I can find a job, but I am worried in my heart about my relationship with Sun Hao, can I withstand the test of a different place?
When graduating from college, many classmates broke up because of different places, and Sun Hao was just promoted, he had a sunny personality, which was the type that many girls liked, and one of their colleagues liked Sun Hao.
Everyone in Sun Hao's office knew me, and every time his colleagues had dinner, he called me to go with me, in order to reassure me.
Our feelings are fine, sun Hao is not the kind of half-hearted person, but I still feel uneasy in my heart, or I will think wildly.
Aunt and cousin Shen Lin came to the hospital to see their mother, the aunt said that she wanted to talk to her mother for a day, and Shen Lin and I sat outside in the corridor and chatted without a word.
After the aunt left, my mother asked me how I thought Of Shen Lin? The aunt said that she wanted me to talk to Shen Lin about friends to try, Mom I have a boyfriend, you now listen to the doctor's good health, don't worry about the rest.
My mother began to wipe her eyes and tears again, my mother has both children and daughters in this life, your brother has been married and started a family, I have nothing to worry about, and the only thing I am not worried about now is you.
Besides, Shen Lin, a child who grew up watching from a young age, knows politeness, is polite and polite, and his aunt and mother will not harm you.
Shen Lin was not born to the eldest aunt, it was the child of the uncle's brother, when the uncle's brother died unexpectedly, the uncle's sister-in-law remarried, and the eldest aunt was injured when she was a child and could not have children, so they raised Shen Lin.
Half a year later, my mother's condition was serious, and my mother said that she wanted to watch me become a family, and I was sad to see my mother who was getting emaciated.
I didn't know what to do, I told Sun Hao about this, Sun Hao came to my house by car on the weekend and wanted to discuss our marriage with my parents.
Mother fainted because of emotional excitement, the doctor repeatedly stressed that she can not be stimulated, when the mother woke up, Sun Hao did not dare to say anything, before leaving Sun Hao said to let the mother rest well.
I sent Sun Hao to the station, along the way the two people have their own concerns, I don't know what to say, I am afraid that my mother is forcing me to marry Pillow Forest.
And Sun Hao should also have his concerns, before leaving, Sun Hao asked me to take care of my mother and myself.
What are you afraid of?
The doctor said that my mother's time was short, so let's have a psychological preparation, this matter we all hid from my mother, did not dare to tell him.
But my mother seems to know something, every day as soon as she sees me, she urges me to get married, marriage is not a child's play, go to the road to grab a random one can be casually knotted?
No one let you get on the road to catch, shen lin is not ready-made? Since childhood pillow forest like you, no matter what good food he let you, where to find such a good, and good work, iron rice bowl, believe in mother, will not be wrong.
My mother said that watching me become a family, she could close her eyes when she died, and I watched my mother's hair fall out little by little, suffering from illness every day, and worrying about me, and finally I compromised.
I felt sorry for my mother, for she had worked hard for this family all her life, and she had not enjoyed the blessings of her children for a day, and she was tormented by illness like this, and fulfilling her last wish was the only thing I could do.
When people reach the critical moment of life and death, they are eager to arrange everything well, and I can understand the mother's mood, not to mention that the mothers always have a heart that can't be.
I was thinking about how to tell Sun Hao about this, when I suddenly received a call from Sun Hao, who said that he was going abroad, and the company arranged for him to go abroad for an internship for a year, and he was leaving next month.
I said congratulations, I'm getting married next month, he said wish me happiness and hung up the phone.
I cried all night, my mind full of memories of me and Sun Hao, maybe there was no end between us.
Next, I began to prepare for Shen Lin's marriage, which was prepared by Shen Lin and my aunt.
Marriage without love I don't know what will happen?
My mother left after I got married to Shen Lin for half a month, and I don't know if she was relieved to go, but I really tried my best.
Later, my uncle entrusted me with a job, the work is relatively leisurely, suitable for the pension.
After work, Shen Lin and I rented a house near the company, and for the convenience of commuting, we only went home on weekends to live.
Half a month later, the aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer, fortunately it was found in time, and the operation was done, and the doctor said to recuperate well.
During that time, I often came back from work and took my aunt out to play, probably in a good mood, looking good, and after three months, I went to the re-examination doctor and said that I was recovering well.
After a year of marriage, my daughter was born, and my life was uneventful, my aunt helped me with the children, and I continued to work.
Once the company arranged for me to go to Wuhan on a business trip, I wanted to call Sun Hao, but I felt too abrupt.
After finishing work, I went to the café that Sun Hao often went to and sat down for a while.
Recalling the bits and pieces between me and Sun Hao, I suddenly wanted to meet Sun Hao, and I didn't miss him for a day in all these years of marriage, but it was impossible between us.
At the train station I was about to buy Zhou Black Duck, suddenly someone called Chen Yan, I thought I heard wrong, and then I heard a sound, I looked up, it was Sun Hao.
He said it had been a long time since he had seen him, yes, it had indeed been a long time.
Sun Hao invited me to have coffee and talked about his life over the years, he was married, he had a son, I said your wife must be very happy, he smiled, he asked me if I was happy?
How can I be happy without him, the words are not spoken in the end, some people miss it and it is impossible again, just like Sun Hao and I, once loved each other so much, in the end we still failed to come together.
Just want to have it once, don't care about the sky and the earth.