Parents blame their children too much, which is a wrong way of education. As more and more parents recognize this, they will reduce their efforts to educate their children through blame. However, what happened around me made me realize that the accusations between parents can also have a great impact on children.
Colleague Xiaoli will take her son to the park to play almost every night, and after a long time, her son has met several friends to play together. Once, Xiaoli took her son out as usual, and his son had a very good time. After returning home, his son secretly dragged Xiaoli into the room and told her: "Mom, I fell, and my hand was cut through the skin and bled." Don't tell Your Father, lest he scold you again. ”
Xiao Li couldn't imagine that her son had fallen, and the first thing she thought of was not to ask her father for help, but to ask herself to hide it. This is caused by the son's previous experience of injury and the husband's performance. Boys like to move and jump around, which is inevitable. The son jumped on the couch and ended up falling and his scalp scratched.
The sofa is not high, the son is not a big problem, it is not a big deal. Who knew that the husband was angry and scolded Xiaoli, who was helping her son rub the medicinal oil. Xiaoli said that she couldn't even take care of her children well, and she didn't know what to do all day. Since then, his son has been injured and dare not tell his husband.
It can be seen that too much mutual accusation between parents will have a bad impact on the child. When a child encounters something, the first thing that comes to mind is not the help of the parents, but how to hide the parents. Indeed, when a child makes a mistake or is injured, improper treatment between parents can cause these disadvantages to the child.
1. Affect the parent-child relationship
Just like the situation that Xiaoli encountered, when her husband saw that his son was injured, he would only blindly complain about Xiaoli, without thinking about the reason for his son's injury. When Xiaoli's son sees that he is injured due to his own active reasons, so that his mother is scolded by his father, he will bury fear in his heart.
When Xiaoli's son encounters similar things, even the funny things in life will not talk to his father. Such things accumulate more, and a gap between father and son will occur, affecting the parent-child relationship.
2. Habitual lying
Children make mistakes, although they are not scolded by themselves, but the accusations between parents are also what children do not want to see. In order to avoid such a situation, children dare not tell their parents the real situation and learn to lie.
Children find that by lying and concealing the truth about their parents, they can reduce the accusations between parents and develop a habit of lying. Although the child's starting point is good, the child's habitual lying is a very bad habit.
3, it is easy to have no self-confidence
Taking care of and educating children is the responsibility of both parents, not either mom or dad. The child has a problem, and the parents cannot shirk their responsibilities and blame each other.
Children have problems, and parents often blame each other, feeling that the other party is not well cared for. Children live in such an environment for a long time, thinking that they have made their parents quarrel, feel that they are useless, and become less confident.
In the process of children's growth, parents' improper handling will cause adverse factors for children. Parents should correctly realize that when they do not blame their children too much, they should also do not blame each other too much in front of their children. Parents can do this when the child has problems.
1. Calm treatment
Take colleague Xiaoli as an example, when Xiaoli's son broke his scalp, Xiaoli's husband should not sit on the side and not help, and loudly accused Xiaoli of not taking good care of her son. , calm down, look at the son's injury, if it is not a big problem, you can rub the medicine oil on the son, and then reassure the son not to worry.
After the incident, explain to your son that dangerous actions cannot be done. In the future, if there is an injury, you must find your father and mother to solve it at the first time, and you cannot delay. Through this method of treatment, the child knows what to do when encountering similar things.
2. Communicate privately
There is a problem with the child, and parents should not lose their temper in front of the child, or even get started. Although the child is still young, the child also has self-esteem, and the child is reluctant to see his own problems and let the parents quarrel.
Then, parents can communicate privately according to the problems that occur in their children. For example, Xiaoli's son broke his scalp, Xiaoli can communicate with her husband privately, the reason why the child is active is not too energetic, take the child out to exercise.
In addition, children are not usually instilled not to jump around on the sofa, falling down is a very dangerous behavior.
Written in the end: taking care of children and educating children is an indispensable responsibility of parents. In order to let the child grow up healthily, parents should learn the correct family education method, so that the child's physical and mental health can be improved at the same time, but also to enhance the parent-child relationship with the child. (The picture is from the network, if there is infringement, it must be deleted)