The biggest disaster for a family: absent dads, anxious moms, raising runaway kids...

Today's children mainly live in the "mother's world". According to a survey, 55.8% of families spend their days with their children with their mothers. Only 12.6 per cent of fathers were more likely to accompany them. The father spends 2.9 hours on weekdays, much lower than the mother's 4.6 hours.

The absence of the father is the sadness of the child's education, and it is also the deep regret of a family. I have to admit that now after the birth of the child, almost everything is given to the mother.

1. The child has just been born, every few hours to feed the milk, the mother has boiled into panda eyes, but the father is next to the whirring sleep;

2. In kindergarten, the child wants to play with his father, but is pushed to the side by his father: "Well, go to find your mother, your father is tired from work." ”

3. When I went to elementary school, every day I wrote homework with my baby like a war, and my mother often got angry and her blood pressure soared. The father who does not often tutor the child suddenly jumps out: "Can't you teach well?" As for forcing the child into this? ”

4. In puberty, the child begins to rebel and confront the parents. The mother is in a hurry, the father is always busy, and the child's problems are getting more and more serious...

1

A complete family education is indispensable

In the growth of children, parents each shoulder an irreplaceable mission:

Mother's love is towards integration. Determines the child's initial world cognition, the mother has love, the child feels that the world is loving; the mother is depressed and anxious in front of the child, the child will feel that the world is gray.

The sense of security that the mother gives to the child at the age of 0-3 also determines the emotional connection pattern between the child and the outside world throughout his life.

Father's love is towards separation. It gives children the psychological strength they need to grow up and the perception of the real world. Dad's masculine traits teach children the rules and boundaries of life, and more importantly, teach children to resist setbacks, be strong, and become strong in life.

The combination of different functions and characteristics of parents is the complete education necessary for the healthy growth of children.

Only when the involvement of the father and mother is complete can the child find a clear position in the family, develop towards socialization in a sound way, and become better himself.

When one of the parents' functions is missing, it is easy to have "bear child" problems such as rebellion, school aversion, procrastination, and addiction to games, and even let the child suffer from "paternal love deficiency syndrome":

Gender cognitive impairment: boys are too feminine, and girls become "tomboys";

Personality defects: such as inferiority, sensitivity, cowardice, weak willpower, etc.;

More likely to develop emotional disorders: such as depression, anxiety, insecurity;

Physical developmental disorders: Children's height, weight, movements, and reaction speed are much behind those of their peers.

After the child reaches adulthood, these psychological defects are likely to develop into serious psychological disorders such as "nibbling on the old" and "fear of marriage and childbearing", which will continue the haze of the original family to their next generation.

02

Being a dad is an irreplaceable job

Obama once said, "I'm not going to be president for the rest of my life, but I'm going to be a father all my life." ”

He did not renege on his word when he said this.

His daughter learns to swim, and he is a coach himself; when the children are on vacation, they also take the children to the amusement park and enjoy the happy moments together; they will take every festival of the family seriously, such as the daughter's birthday.

Even during the 21-month-long presidential campaign, he never missed a parent-teacher meeting for his daughter.

So we can see that Obama's daughters are all excellent, the eldest daughter became the third Harvard student in the family, and the younger daughter also attended the University of Michigan as she wished.

Work is important, but in the long run, the identity of dad is a lifelong job, and no one can replace it. Dad's company is crucial at every stage of the child's life:

0-3 years old: during the language development period, the more the father participates, the faster the child's language ability improves. The reason is that dads don't often speak baby language, and use adult language, which can stimulate the development of language.

3-6 years old: during the period of ability development, the child begins to imitate. The masculine traits of the father are an important role model for the child. Dad's words and deeds can help children recognize the real appearance of the world and distinguish between good and evil.

After the age of 6: Children start school, the environment they face will be more complicated than before the age of 6, and they need to learn how to face difficulties and resist setbacks. More importantly, dads should play the role of "rules" and let children know how to control themselves.

Not only in the important moments of life, in fact, every growth and progress of children requires the active participation and correct guidance of both parents.

As a father, don't forget your responsibilities as a father and husband, and leave as much time as possible outside of work to the family, to your partner and children.

Because that will complete the growth of a child and achieve the happiness of a family.

03

How to give a child a complete home education?

Only when the participation of parents is complete, children can find a clear position in the family, develop towards socialization in a sound way, and become better themselves.

But over the years, most families have fallen into this misunderstanding:

Nervous mothers feel that dads can't do anything well, so that dads fall into the strange circle of "won't take the baby mom is not at ease, let the dad take the baby won't take the baby mom is not assured...", and the child is also very prone to problems.

So, to solve the parenting problem of "invisible dad", the mother's crucial role is that she is both an acceptor and a facilitator and driver.

Withdraw from the tension of the relationship, from the roots to understand the husband's helplessness about parenting. Accepting the contradictions of the husband, helping and guiding the husband to truly return to the family step by step.

Moms can do this:

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MOTHER'S DAY

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1. Get out of anxiety and give your husband enough trust and support;

2. Step by step, let the husband participate in the education of the children, and discover the joy of parenting;

3. Let go and rest assured, give the husband and children a free way to get along.

Dad can do this:

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MOTHER'S DAY

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1. Develop a sense of companionship

Take the initiative to plan out exclusive family time every week, and no longer use "busy" as an excuse

2. Learn to accompany

Give full play to the father's duty, share and communicate with the child, and accompany the child to participate in parent-child games and parent-child sports.

3, companionship, quality is more important than quantity

Doing meaningful things with your child, 20 minutes of effective companionship is far more valuable than 3 hours of absent-mindedness.

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