A few days ago, Xiao Kangjun took the child to the door of the community supermarket, and there was a child who had to play with the rocking car, his mother was unwilling, and then the child directly lay on the ground and cried.
And then his mom said, You lie down, there's here. After saying that, the mother found a chair and sat down to play with her mobile phone.
Seeing this scene, Xiao Kangjun couldn't help but be handsome, and sure enough, ginger was still old and spicy! But is this parenting style worth learning from?
(Image source: Elken Original)
1
Post-90s parenting
Parents: I'll lose
For parents, parenting is a long war that cannot be seen, and no matter how many methods have been tried, they are always defeated by the child's sprinkling.
In order to get rid of the threat of children's unreasonable trouble (messing), more and more parents have begun to uphold a new educational concept - rotten parenting.
The so-called "pendulum" means that since things cannot develop in a good direction, it is simply left unchecked and allowed to develop naturally in a bad direction.
(Image source: new.qq.com)
The essence of "swinging parenting" is: let you cry and let you make trouble, you love the ground, I will watch quietly, and I will count you as I lose.
When we brush short videos, we should often see such scenes:
The bear child is lying on the ground and rolling, and the parents quietly watch the child "perform" and ignore it.
(Image source: Scenic Line)
Just lie down, I just played the game for a while.
You make trouble, your parents spend time with you, see who compares to whom.
(Image source: left: sohu.com right: see watermark)
Some parents also played an upgraded version of the "Swinging Dafa" - you swing me!
Are you crying? I cry louder than you do!
Are you making trouble? I'm making a lot of noise than you!"
Are you rubbing? I can rub it more than you!
(Image source: sohu.com)
In addition to "swinging parenting", some parents have also practiced "reverse parenting", successfully changing "with a baby" into "letting the baby carry herself".
You are a child, and I am a child than you. When children go out, they must not only prepare their own bottles and diapers, but also bring their mother's lipstick and air cushions.
The child left his mother on the street and ran, and the mother jumped and shouted, "I will not go, I will be lost." ”
(Image source: k.sina.cn)
This way of parenting has caused extreme comfort among netizens, and many netizens have said:
Take the path your child walks, leaving your child with nowhere to go
This session of adults is really not worrying
That's all I played with as a kid
(Image source: Weibo screenshot)
Some time ago, the hot search topic #How difficult can a mother after 90 bring # A video in the #90 has been praised countless times.
In the video, the child gets up by himself, puts on his socks, packs his clothes, helps his mother take takeout, and picks up the courier. The mother on the side lay in bed for a day, constantly "calling" the child.
(Image source: Weibo screenshot)
This wave of reverse operation has made the melon-eating masses complain one after another: Don't look for the post-90s as a parent.
(Image source: Weibo screenshot)
02
"Swinging parenting" and "reverse parenting" have become trends,
Is it desirable in the end?
In the face of children lying on the ground crying, parents of each age have their own way of coping.
The parents of the older generation will look around, afraid that others will see the joke, so they drag and hold the child and coax it, and meet all kinds of unreasonable demands of the child.
The younger generation of parents, with a high level of education, has been exposed to a variety of new educational concepts before they are even born. Compared with traditional didactic education, they are more inclined to "free-range" and talk to their children on an equal footing.
According to the "Jingdong Children's Commodity Trend Report", the younger generation of parents advocates the concept of scientific and refined parenting. They tend to take a more relaxed approach, crying and laughing with their children, and being friends with each other.
(Image source: sohu.com)
In the variety show "Don't Underestimate Me", Fu Seoul and her husband Lao Liu were arranged by the program group to take a group of children to climb the mountain from the steep but short boardwalk.
During this time, a boy named Lei Lei cried furiously: "I said I didn't want to climb the mountain!" I said I was exhausted! ”
(Image source: Variety show "Don't Underestimate Me")
Fu Seoul tried various methods to communicate with him, but to no avail. So Fu Seoul simply sat down on the ground and said, "I don't want to leave!" The child was stunned and urged Fu Seoul to insist. Eventually, Lei Lei was the first to climb to the top of the mountain.
(Image source: Variety show "Don't Underestimate Me")
In family education, instead of laying out facts and reasoning with children, it is better to occasionally show weakness to children and leave the right to decide to children, which can not only close the parent-child relationship, but also stimulate children's enthusiasm and let children learn to take the initiative to solve difficulties.
In response to the rotten parenting that spread throughout the network, some netizens said that once they conceded defeat in the face of children's spilling, the children would become more and more willful after that.
Although it does not look out of tune, such cold treatment will make children understand that "it is useless to make trouble". Waiting for the child to calm down and then being reasonable is more educational.
(Image source: Weibo screenshot)
Some people also think that this practice is inappropriate, although the parents' cold eyes can make the child compromise, but it is not conducive to the cultivation of the child's sense of self-esteem, it is easy for the child to form an inferiority and pleasing psychology.
Many times the child wants more face than the adult, and the shame he feels is far greater than we think.
03
"Swinging" ≠ broken jars
The right thing to do is to have loving action
In fact, "messing up" is completely the helpless move of many parents, although the parents' practices are different, but the essence is cold treatment.
Young children often meet their needs by making trouble, and when the child is "on top" of the child, if the parents let the child submit by scolding and yelling, it will inevitably lead to the deterioration of the parent-child relationship.
The short cold treatment can provide children with time to vent their emotions, and it is also a desirable point for "swinging parenting".
However, this kind of cold treatment is not to stand idly by, let alone ridicule. At the same time, we must also pay attention to proportions, and give the child a hug at the right time to make the child feel safe.
In the variety show "Where Did Daddy Go", Du Jiang made a good demonstration in the face of his son's humming crying.
Humming cries because he doesn't want to turn in his toys, he threatens to leave by speedboat himself.
(Image source: variety show "Where Did Daddy Go")
Du Jiang did not accuse Hum of not understanding things throughout the whole process, but set aside enough time for the child to adjust his emotions, and after the child stopped crying, he patiently explained to the child.
(Image source: variety show "Where Did Daddy Go")
When children threaten their parents with crying, do not try to use scolding and reasoning to make children understand the truth, and at the same time do not pretend to stay away from children, our behavior can be cold, but our hearts cannot be cold.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "Where there is no response, it is a desperate situation." "Although some of the desires of a child cannot be met immediately, they deserve respect. After the child's mood is stable, it is necessary to give a response, otherwise the child will only become anxious, sensitive, and insecure.
(Image source: sohu.com)
Well-off jun bar boo
In the face of the endless educational buzzwords at the top of the Network, as well as some so-called expert advice, we parents should not blindly follow the trend.
Educating children has never been standardized. Accept imperfections, objectively evaluate their children, and through continuous attempts and summaries, they will find an education method suitable for their children.
Well, today's content is here, let's not forget to "share", "like" and "watch", add a chicken leg to Xiaokangjun
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