When Xiao Kangjun browsed the web, he saw a post, just a sentence, and it suddenly made people cry...
(Image source: Zhihu)
Because it's a lot like what I said, because I had a similar feeling.
Grandpa has been dead for more than seven years, but he still thinks about it from time to time. Grandpa's voice and smile, words and sentences, always dreaming, but Grandpa can never come back...
For adults, the death of a loved one still brings great pain, not to mention how traumatic the child will be when faced with the matter of "leaving". In China, because of reasons such as avoidance or reluctance to express emotions, few parents seriously talk to their children about "death"...
But life, old age, illness and death are the most common things in the world. To make a child fear life, you need to make him understand the meaning of death...
1
The 3-year-old boy accidentally smashed the duckling to death,
Netizens are full of praise...
The first time many children face death is the departure of their beloved small animals, although they are small animals, in the eyes of children, they are their good friends, and they will be very sad.
Recently, there was a video with tens of thousands of likes: a 3-year-old baby, who accidentally smashed the family's pet little black duck, knelt on the ground and shouted sadly: "Duck and duck sorry, forgive me!" ”
(Video source: v.qq.com)
When the baby just smashed the little black duck, he did not know that the little duck was dead, he found the little duck lying motionless on the ground, and tried to help it up, but how to help it could not be lifted. Only then did he understand that the duckling was dead.
The mother was very angry at the little boy's behavior, after all, he had hurt an innocent life, so the baby just broke down, knelt on the ground, and kept apologizing to the little duckling.
The mother's reasoning and the baby's sincerity deeply touched many netizens, and also evoked the painful memories of netizens: it is really sad to face the death of the beloved small animal.
(Image source: screenshot)
But there are also parents who do not understand this emotion, thinking that it is not a small animal? Pet markets are everywhere, can't you buy another one? Need to make your child feel so uncomfortable?
More parents also think that their children do not understand things, are not strong, and cry for this little thing.
In fact, any expression of the child's true emotions is worthy of respect, at this time, if you can get the correct guidance of the parents, you can play a positive role in the child's psychological development and the establishment of the concept of life.
2
let the child understand death,
in order to better understand the meaning of living...
Many people feel that death is far away from the child, and when the child asks about death, because he feels unlucky, he immediately interrupts or reprimands, or responds with some vague answer such as "Heaven is up".
But death is actually very close to the child: the death of a beloved animal, the death of a loved one, the departure of a character in an animated film, the death of someone in the surrounding population, will have an impact on the child's soul, and always make them think: What is death?
(Image source: "Flying House Tour")
If parents can't respond positively, in the long run, it is easy for children to feel that death is a very scary thing, and it is impossible to let children's curiosity about death be reasonably released. When children reach adulthood, they lack thinking about the meaning of life.
So, when the child asks, "Mom, are you going to die?" It's time to answer your child's question seriously.
Xiao Kangjun once saw a touching picture book, which tells the story of a little boy who dreamed of his grandfather every night after his grandfather's death, and his grandfather could pass through the wall, so the little boy concluded that he had become a ghost. The little boy saw it in a book: If a person forgets to do something before he dies, he becomes a ghost after death.
So, every night the little boy accompanied grandpa to reminisce: What did grandpa forget? Finally, Grandpa finally remembered: it turned out that he had forgotten to say goodbye to the little boy...
(Image source: Elken Original)
Finally, Grandpa solemnly said goodbye to the little boy, and agreed that they would think of each other from time to time, but they did not have to think about it all the time. Since then, the little boy's life has returned to normal.
Death, in fact, is really a goodbye, but the meaning of goodbye is not in the pain, but in the spirit of always remembering him, and cherishing the relatives around him more.
So, when a child asks us this question, we can answer him like this:
Just as a small flower will wither, a small grass will wither, and a person will have the end of life. However, this is not a miserable thing. For the flowers and grass fall into the dirt and nourish the new sprouts of the coming spring; although a man will die, the good spirit he has left in the world will live forever, he will always live in our hearts, and his hearts will be richer.
The value of a person in the world is not how long he can live, but in the fact that when he is alive, he does things that make the people around him feel happy and can be deeply remembered.
Of course, just to say this to the child superficially, the child may seem to understand, and we also need to give the child more positive strength to face death.
3
Transforming power,
Cultivate a child's outlook on life...
Xiao Kangjun once watched such a video: the little boy in the video is writing homework, it may be that the homework is not written well, the mother is angry, the little boy cried and said: "I don't want to kill you, you don't die, don't go to heaven." In the end, the little boy and his mother discussed how old she was going to live, and finally the little boy felt that 100 years old was the most appropriate, and 101 was not enough.
(Image source: v.qq.com)
Many parents will be amused by their children's fairy tales, but behind the laughter, we should understand the child's fear of death.
Therefore, when your baby is small and has no concept of death, we should emphasize to him more: Mom and Dad will not leave and will always be with you. This is conducive to building a sense of security for the child.
When the baby already understands that there is such a thing as "death" in the world, we can use the above expression to discuss it positively with the child.
In addition, we can also educate children on life from the following three aspects to cultivate a healthy outlook on life.
treasure
Tell your child to cherish your life in the moment and transform your child's fear of death into a positive way to live every day.
respect
Teach children to respect life, after all, it is not easy for everyone, every little animal to come to this world, they work as hard as we do to live and deserve to be respected.
tenacity
Remind children that no matter what they encounter, they must desperately live, because everyone's life is only once, we have to play its greatest value, and life itself is tenacious, as long as you work hard, there is no obstacle that cannot be passed, and mom and dad will also be your solid backing.
Well-off jun bar boo
Although a person will die, the love he leaves in the world will last forever, otherwise life would not be so touching...
There is no trace of the sky, but I have flown over ~ ~
Well, today's topic is a bit heavy, I hope that parents can understand xiaokangjun's painstaking heart! Finally, don't forget to help Xiao Kangjun point out "share", "watch" and "like"
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