There are very few children who have not been beaten since childhood.
Most parents believe in stick education and feel that word of mouth education must not go wrong, after all, when it comes to difficult children, violence is the most effective solution.
Moreover, everyone grows up like this, no one will feel that there is any problem, even if it is to vent the pain they have suffered, it must be passed down from generation to generation.
After the child is beaten, what is going on in his heart?
Sow the seeds of hatred, and it is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge for ten years
When parents punch and kick their children, the first time they will have fearful emotions because of fear, and accumulate this bad emotional experience, and the next time they encounter the same situation, they will limit their behavior to a certain extent.
But once the frequency of parents beating themselves increases indefinitely and becomes a common thing, the child will become numb in his heart, silently learning the means and methods of his parents, and when he has a venting gap, he will become the shadow of his parents.
In addition, after being beaten more times, the pain in his body can no longer cause his fear, but will treat every pain as a seed of revenge, and when his strength becomes stronger, sooner or later he will have to fight back.
Falling into deep self-blame, it gradually evolved into autism
This kind of child's heart will be more fragile and sensitive, sometimes they make mistakes not intentionally, but because of their lack of experience, their behavior is not the same as imagined, resulting in frequent disasters.
But these behaviors in the eyes of parents, there is no difference, most parents will not bother to understand why their children make mistakes, but seize the results, have to punish them with violence.
Maybe it's because they can't be understood by their parents, or maybe the children are really too sensitive and vulnerable, they will put the responsibility for all this happening on themselves, if they are good enough, the mother will not become so terrible...
Which is more effective, children who are often beaten or who have never been beaten? Destroy him in the name of him
In terms of security: there is little left of the former, and the relationship with parents is getting stronger
Parents wave their fists at their children Most of them are in the primary school stage of their children, at this stage, the child's three views have not been completed, they are like a small grass that swings with the wind, and parents will spend more effort to guide them and educate them.
When the children grow up, even if the parents are angry again, they will not wave their fists again, whether they are worried that the children will fight back, or worry that the children will become more rebellious, at best, they will scold them fiercely.
In their minds, there will be such a thought: children remember to eat and do not remember to fight, now it is good to treat them well, and they will not be angry after beating them before! In the future, parents and children can still get along normally.
But in fact, this is the wishful thinking of parents, children will not forget to be beaten because they are not beaten now, and the shadow of childhood for them needs a lifetime to calm down, can it be solved in a short period of time?
Therefore, the sense of security they have lost will not be recovered in the days to come, and the gap between them and their parents is more immutable, unless their parents do something unforgettable to impress them, otherwise it is immutable.
Personality: The former is easy to become a flattering personality, with high emotional intelligence
Children who are often beaten will slowly understand a truth, their own beatings actually have nothing to do with themselves, even if they have not made any mistakes, as long as the parents' mood is not good, they will vent on themselves. Therefore, the mood of parents is the most important.
Slowly, they will be more expressive in terms of observing the color, they can have insight into the emotional changes of their parents in the first time, if the parents are in a bad mood, do not bump into the muzzle of the gun, if the parents are in a good mood, they will have more interaction with the parents.
This ability to the society, there will be a certain advantage, their high emotional chamber of commerce to win the likes of many people, even if their ability is not high, will also enjoy a lot of good preferential treatment and welfare.
But is this kind of success really what parents want? The success of the child who always suppresses his own heart is like a time bomb, and it will explode when it is exploded!
Today's summary:
Do you often hit your children? What is the reason for every fight? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!