Marriages are not all happy, why do people still want to get married

Why do people get married? This is a big problem.

Psychologically speaking, people marry to meet the need to belong.

The need to belong is the need to maintain normal interactions with intimate people.

Man is a social animal, and if you leave a person on an island, there is everything. There is no one who cannot communicate with people; there is no network, and there is no communication with the outside world.

In such a case, people can persist for a few days.

In that case, some people may say that they can persist until they die, and there is nothing wrong with this, because it may not be long before they die.

In that situation, loneliness can come over you, it's very unbearable, and it's easy to have an emotional breakdown.

I always thought I was very alone.

But when I came to a new city, I didn't know anyone. Although there are people around and bustling, the bustle is someone else's. I still feel lonely, very lonely, and feel abandoned by the whole world.

This is the lack of belonging, the lack of people around them who support themselves, the people who do not trust themselves and trust themselves.

There is a sense of belonging, there is love, there is also friendship.

Once the sense of belonging is satisfied, the motivation of the person to pursue intimate relationships will weaken. That said, for close friends, it doesn't take much, the key is quality.

In a person's life, it is enough to have three or five close friends.

But only friends, if there is no love, you will feel lonely. After all, some things can only be said to a lover.

Like me, I have three or two friends around me, and occasionally I will drink and brag together. But still feel lonely, friendship is not a substitute for the desire for love.

Marriage can meet the need to belong, and it does not matter who the other half is; as long as this person can support and trust us. So, after a relationship or marriage ends, people will look for alternative relationships.

Is the need for belonging really that important? Yes, very important.

The sense of belonging is that you know that there is someone who supports you and trusts you.

Whether you love it or not at first, you know that there is someone who likes you, cares about you, supports you, and trusts you.

Then it's hard to be indifferent, and most likely, you'll like this person too, if it's not too annoying.

When this person disappears from your world, you will also feel a sense of loss and loneliness. Although you may not love, these feelings will still exist, and you will feel that you are alone in the world again.

Of course, this is in the absence of a substitution relationship, and if you have a better option, that's a different story.

Now let's look at the relationship between marriage and physical health.

Brain scientists have shown that holding a lover's hand weakens the brain's brain response in a stressed state.

Medically, it has been proven that just looking at a photo of a loved one can reduce a person's pain; when someone accepts himself and supports him, the wound heals faster.

A large number of data studies prove that people in marital relationships are healthier, longer and happier.

A follow-up study of people with heart failure:

This is a study that has been tracked for years. Patients with confirmed congestive heart failure after middle age.

As a result, after 48 months, regardless of the diagnosis, most of the unsatisfactory marriages have died, while most of the more satisfied marriages are still alive.

Let's take a look at what happens when a person lacks intimacy.

A study of college students: Lonely and unaccompanied students have worse physical immunity and are more likely to catch colds.

Psychological research confirms that the mortality rate of the elderly living alone is higher, 2-3 times that of normal people; the elderly who have lost their loved ones are more likely to die within a few months than the elderly in marriage.

Psychologically speaking, when there is a lack of intimacy, people will have some stress reactions, resulting in some unhealthy psychology. People who are lonely and unaccompanied are more likely to be depressed, more likely to drink heavily, and more likely to have psychological problems.

It's not hard to understand that when a person is alone, it's easy to feel depressed; when faced with the pressures of life, when you feel lost, you can't get support; these can indeed lead to some psychological problems.

All of the above shows that marital status is directly related to people's mental and physical health.

So who is happier, research on happiness:

1, get married and maintain the marriage, be satisfied with your marriage, feel more happy, and have the highest happiness.

2, get married and maintain the marriage, but are not very satisfied with their marriage, feel less happy in marriage, and secondly, happiness.

3. When you are alone, you have the lowest sense of happiness.

That is to say, even if a person is not too happy with their marriage, life is still more fulfilling than when they are alone.

Taken together, people in marriage are happier, healthier, and mentally healthier.

Of course, this is not to tell everyone to get married.

Here is just a high probability, an average flat water. It's not that all marriages are better than one person.

Some very bad marriages, after divorce, people will be happier, more free, can experience more happiness.

This mainly depends on the marital status of the individual.

If in marriage, there is no support at all, no trust at all, and more negative emotions are experienced, and the marriage itself becomes a source of stress; in this case, it is certainly not as good as living alone.

In general, marriage, for a person, there are still many benefits.