Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
As people get older, they tend to become reluctant to throw away items in their homes.
The 68-year-old lives with his wife, while their daughter works and lives independently in a neighboring city.
Whenever there is a holiday, the first thing my daughter says when she comes home is always:
She then began to tidy up her parents' home, removing items that she thought were useless but were considered "treasures" by her parents.
The refrigerator freezer of Uncle Hu's house is full of food, the wardrobe is hung with clothes from more than ten years ago, and there are medicines in the medicine box that have expired for half a year...... These debris that should have been removed can be found everywhere in their homes.
But they usually don't take the initiative to dispose of these items, but leave them where they are, even though most of them don't go back to use and end up being disposed of by their daughters.
In fact, people like Uncle Hu are not uncommon, and many of them are not very old.
If you ask them why they are reluctant to throw these items away, they often can't give a definite answer and only vaguely say they don't want to throw them away.
"Maybe I'll be able to use it someday?" and "This thing has a special meaning to me, I can't bear to throw it away" are two of the most common reasons they keep these clutter.
In the book "Breaking Away" by Japanese writer Eiko Yamashita, he discusses how to deal with seemingly useless but difficult to part with, linking this act of categorization to thinking about life.
Eiko Yamashita emphasized,
The essence of life lies in the fact that the individual constantly manages his or her relationship with his surroundings, including with various objects. When people learn how to buy items precisely and organize them regularly, the individual and the surrounding environment will appear more in harmony.
The inability to make a decision to renounce reflects a pathological state of mind.
In the field of psychology, people who feel reluctant to accept objects often have emotional dependence on these objects, which may stem from the historical background of the object, the giver, or the association with a specific moment, etc.
This emotional dependence is not entirely positive, and keeping these objects for long periods of time can consume too much emotional energy, neglecting current interpersonal interactions, and ultimately leading to loneliness.
In addition, the use of objects to convey emotions can lead to over-dependence, and the use of objects to compensate for dissatisfaction in other areas is an unhealthy psychological mechanism.
In 2016, the Japanese TV series "My Home is Empty" quickly became popular on the Internet and received a score of 8.3 points on Douban.
Mai, the show's main character, is a typical hoarder, and her residence is piled up with all kinds of items that she deems necessary, resulting in an extremely chaotic and crowded living environment.
One day, Mai suddenly realizes that her living environment is too chaotic and even has suicidal thoughts.
But she felt it would be humiliating to end her life in such a messy place, so she decided to tidy up her room before making other decisions.
In the process of tidying up, Mai experienced the thrill of cleaning up clutter and simplifying her life, and this feeling made her re-examine her lifestyle.
Eventually, her room became empty and tidy, leaving only the most basic furniture.
Through this process, Mai regained her comfort and positive attitude towards life.
The show, which shows the transition from hoarding to practical renunciation, is a lesson that many people should learn, especially those who are reluctant to throw away even small items.
For some older people, accumulating items is a sign of frugality and a habit they have developed over time.
However, for others, hoarding behavior may indicate that they have a mental illness.
These people tend to be reluctant to make changes because they hoard too many items that affect their daily lives and even cause problems to themselves.
This behavior usually reflects that the individual is under too much stress in life and work, or feels insecure, and they respond to this uneasiness by keeping these used items, thus forming a compulsive hoarding behavior.
For people with this compulsive tendency to hoard, the use of coercive means of change often produces a rebellious mentality.
If they simply discard their belongings, it may make them feel deprived of a part of their identity, and may even trigger a more serious psychological reaction.
In such cases, cognitive behavioral therapy and desensitization therapy should be used.
For example, patients can actively and repeatedly dispose of items they don't need, and gradually form habitual cognitions.
In this way, patients do not develop excessive emotional reactions when dealing with useless items, and their obsessive-compulsive tendencies gradually weaken.
For those who are not at the level of hoarding disorder, it is not necessary to take too radical treatment to "actively give up what you don't need", but some positive steps are still needed to make a change.
People can learn to selectively keep things, and when deciding to keep or discard something, they can ask themselves:
Self-examination of these questions can help reduce unnecessary accumulation of items.
Liu Yong once said:
"When you are young, you will be rich, when you are in the prime of life, and when you are old, you will be fine. ”
This is a kind of wisdom that gradually changes as you mature and your attitude towards things changes.
People often think that they are not happy to be in a state of "not wanting to throw anything", and their living space may be more crowded, chaotic, or even difficult to control.
Some scholars have suggested that although the future is out of reach, we can control the present life.
For people with hoarding disorder, this is a sentence worth pondering and remembering, and the expired items around us are often not only a symbol of emotion, but also a burden on life.
Getting rid of those useless items in time and learning to let go is the key to making life easier and better managed.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: renunciation, psychology
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