Love is beautiful.
But in fact, there will also be the phenomenon of "getting Longwang Shu".
How to understand it?
The "Diderot effect" in psychology holds that:
In the face of a woman's giving. Men will feel satisfaction at first, and over time, they will have more emotional needs.
This means that blindly giving cannot tie a man's heart.
Women's frequent efforts will only make men ignore the happiness around them and become harsh.
From a psychological point of view, do you want a man to love you all the time?
So women, we must avoid the "Diderot effect", how to avoid it? Let's take a look.
01
Be true to yourself and accept imperfections
Karen Honey argues:
"Being true to yourself is the best version of yourself. ”
In emotional relationships.
It is crucial for a person to remain true to themselves.
Women, in particular, may fall into the trap of the "Diderot Effect" when they are overly pursuing external perfection and trying to meet men's expectations by changing their image, behavior, or lifestyle.
Because, such a woman will constantly look for new changes.
To satisfy, men are constantly escalating expectations, thus ignoring the needs of their true selves and hearts.
Therefore, women should learn to accept their imperfections.
In the relationship between men and women, everyone maintains their true selves, so that men can see our truest and most natural side, so as to cherish and love girls more.
02
Focus on the inside and show the needs
Fromm wrote:
"True love is based on mutual understanding. ”
There is a premise for a long-term relationship.
We need to focus on each other's inner needs, not just outward manifestations.
Especially women, if they want to grasp the love of men.
Then you need to understand men's preferences, values, and living habits.
At the same time, women have to show their needs.
In this way, the man can get to know you better, so that he can understand and respect you.
Having done this, women can often avoid the "Diderot effect". And men, not only can feel your sincerity and intentions, but also see your needs, so as to bring you a protection in a targeted manner.
03
Clarify responsibilities and improve together
Psychologist Maslow said:
"Love requires two people to grow together. ”
If you want to have a long-lasting relationship.
Couples need to face the challenges and difficulties of life hand in hand.
When two people are able to grow together.
Then both parties will be able to better understand each other's hearts and needs, so as to cherish each other's existence more.
At the same time, growing together can also help couples avoid falling into the trap of the "Diderot effect".
Because, when two people are together, go through the ups and downs of life.
Both parties will cherish the existing happiness and contentment more than they will constantly pursue higher emotional satisfaction. Such an emotional relationship is stable and long-lasting, and can make the man love the woman all the time.
Who doesn't want love to last long?
But the matter of feelings is never a one-man show.
It is a process in which men and women go to each other and fulfill each other. The absence of either party will make love less happy, will consume each other's love, and even one day, will make the fate of two people end.
If a woman wants to completely tie a man's heart. So everyone, you might as well start from the above angles to avoid the "Diderot effect", so that men respect you and cherish you.