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Many parents usually sigh in front of their children's learning. Obviously they have tried their best, but the children do not like to learn, all day long tell the child the importance of learning, the child is the left ear, the right ear, after listening still go their own way.
In past examples of education, we have witnessed more and more children going from not liking to hating to learning, never wanting to go to school and refusing to go to school. No matter how harshly the parents scold, no matter how full the teacher is, they cannot open the child's heart. Many parents also wonder, how did children start to get bored with school?
Reasons why children are bored with school:
1. Parents have high expectations
Parents attach too much importance to their children's learning, and grades are the only focus of parents' attention. These parents often ignore their children's feelings. In order to improve the child's grades, the number is constantly increased, and the enrollment in various cram schools is unbearable in the long run and fatigue will occur.
2. The impact of bad behavior
Some parents do not like to learn, play mobile phones all day, play cards, but force their children to read, learn, leading to children's psychological contrast. While these parents say they focus on learning, their children often don't listen to him and instead imitate his behavior.
3, lack of management
Some parents think their children are still young, so they protect everything and let their children develop. Over time, children lack motivation, homework is not supervised, there is no feedback on exams, and they slowly give up learning.
4. Learning objectives
Many school-weary children are in a state of no-purpose and vague goals. Many children do not know why to learn, many students regard learning and homework as a teacher's problem, a parent's problem, completely passive, and serious lack of learning motivation.
5. Habit formation problem
Bored children have problems with their learning habits. For example, homework procrastination, not paying attention to lectures in class, and lack of concentration, resulting in a broken knowledge chain, learning can not keep up, will be tired of learning.
Several typical manifestations of school aversion
1. Shirk responsibility
Children push the simple causes of failure to the outside, rather than objectively analyzing the subjective and objective causes of poor academic performance, examining themselves, and learning lessons. They often attribute the poor test results to the teacher's lack of clarity in the lecture, the unclear printing of the paper, and the unfair reading of the paper by the teacher. In fact, their hearts are very clear about the reasons for failure, but they dare not face up to their own shortcomings and cover up their responsibilities in this way.
2. Spiritual victory method
Children with school-weary emotions, when frustrated, do not analyze the reasons, but avoid reality, and change the perception of the people around them, often easy to indulge in the memories of past successes. These children's behavior, psychological characteristics, and thinking activities are not commensurate with age, and this self-soothing psychology indicates the children's aversion to learning.
3. Rationalization
Children tend to rationalize their failures in learning. When these children do not meet the prescribed standards, they deny or accuse the standard of unreasonableness, try to find some seemingly reasonable excuses, so that the current failure tends to rationalize, such self-comfort can make the child reduce the contrast between self-image and frustration, and avoid fierce inner conflicts.
4. Self-protection
After the child is frustrated in learning, he cites a large number of frustrated partners, indicating that he is the same as others, not the worst, in order to get rid of the psychological pressure caused by the frustration, in fact, this is a wrong way of socialization comparison, in order to shirk responsibility and relieve psychological pressure.
5. Self-deprecation
After encountering setbacks in academic performance, some school-weary children feel inferior, extremely inferior, and feel that they are inferior to others in all aspects. One cannot firmly believe in one's own ability to learn from scientific analysis, but self-doubt, self-denial, and self-denial, believing that one's intellectual development is lagging behind, is not the material for learning. The current failure is due to their own ability is inferior to others, failure is also a natural thing, this situation can not be changed through their own efforts.
Children who are tired of learning and addicted to games not only delay learning, but also have the following harms:
1. Damage to physical health
For children who are in the period of physical development, playing games on computers or mobile phones for a long time, the daily life rules will be broken, including: abnormal diet, poor sleep quality, weight loss, etc., and severe cases will lead to sudden death.
2. Decline in cognitive level
If children play games for too long, their abstract thinking ability, logical ability, memory and attention will become worse and worse, resulting in a rapid decline in their academic performance, and then lose interest in learning.
3, the mood will be low
Although appropriate games are beneficial to the brain, long-term indulgence in games will lead to children's low mood, loss of confidence in anything, slowly fewer and fewer friends, and interpersonal relationships become tense.
4, there will be psychological dependence
In the game, their nerves are hyperactive, unconsciously they will have psychological dependence on it, and if they do not play for a day, they will feel upset and itchy.
5. Learning setbacks
As a student, you should be mainly studying, but because you are addicted to games and play games for too long, you can't put your heart on learning, resulting in poor academics; when they are frustrated in learning, children will break the jar and break. It is understood that every year there are children who are bored with school, of which 80% of the children fail the exam because of their addiction to online games, and eventually withdraw from school because of this.
How should parents guide school aversion?
01, the specific reason needs to be found
There are many reasons why children are bored with school. For example, parents have high expectations, excessive learning pressure, incorrect learning methods, teachers' teaching methods are not adapted, and even getting along with children is not good, which may lead to boredom.
If children are now tired of learning, parents should not criticize and scold them. The first thing parents do is to understand the difficulties faced by the child through conversation, the understanding of the child's psychology, and then come up with targeted solutions.
02. Help children find learning interests
Some children learn to deal with their parents. Because only when playing games, these children's eyes will sparkle.
Learning for the sake of giving an account to parents is not enough to form a strong motivation, but also needs to find real learning interests.
At the age of 2-6, parents should take their children out to expand their horizons and keep their children curious about things while experiencing life.
When children find that they still have a lot of unknowns about the world, they will naturally have a clear goal and an interest in exploration.
If the child always likes to ask why, parents can't think that the child asks too much, which will inhibit the child's enthusiasm for learning. A better approach is to find the answer to the question by reading and examining the information.
03. Help children rekindle their faith
Children are bored with school. If parents let go at this time, the child will deviate more and more from the original track. Therefore, parents must intervene.
However, among many coaching methods, helping children to rekindle their faith is the root cause. But what if?
Parents can remind their children to recall interesting things and good friends who happened at school.
You can also ask your child: If you don't go to school, your friends will be getting farther and farther away from you because you don't know what they know. Even so, are you willing to accept it?
This helps to rekindle children's inner desire to go to school and build children's confidence in learning. Only when the child understands the meaning of going to school and realizes the disadvantages of not going to school can he spontaneously and seriously devote himself to learning.
There's a reason kids don't want to go to school. If parents don't understand, the wrong education will only make the child's problem more serious. Only targeted instruction can get children back to school.
Well, here's the article we bring to you today. If parents feel that it is helpful in the process of educating their children, please share it with other friends who are also in need, and we will escort the growth of their children together.
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Heart Freedom Education - Professional family psychological education chain brand
Shenzhen Heart Freedom Education Consulting Co., Ltd. (hereinafter referred to as: Heart Freedom Education) belongs to the Heart Dean Psychologist Group, is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Group, the Group began in 2007, Heart Freedom Education is the heart Dean Psychologist Group based on 15 years of industry experience to create a professional family psychological education chain brand.
According to the current situation of social family and adolescent psychological problems, combined with the Group's many years of teaching and research experience and big data research, Heart Freedom Education has exclusively developed the "AFG Peiyou System", which specializes in solving various family psychological education problems such as adolescents' aversion to school and rebellion, early love online love, electronic dependence, bad conduct, emotional disorders, family indifference, family relationships, personal growth, parent-child education and so on. Since its launch, the "AFG Peiyou System" has been widely recognized and highly praised by parents, and has proved to have a breakthrough and subversive guidance effect in practice!