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School aversion is the most common and dangerous problem among the many learning psychological disorders in middle school students, and it is one of the most common mental illnesses in adolescents in modern society. School aversion has become a high-incidence psychological disease in the current student group, which will cause the decline of children's academic performance, the damage to the relationship between teachers and students, parent-child relationships, etc., so what are the manifestations of adolescent school aversion? Let's take a closer look!
Professor Li Meijin's theory has always been very popular, and her sentence is very reasonable: "When a child is bored with school, it must be reading that makes him feel unhappy, then at this time, parents must find out what the real reason for the child's unhappiness is." "When children show some problems in learning, do not deal with them hastily, parents must explore the reasons from many aspects."
1. Communicate more with the child (the child's own aspect)
If the child is tired of school, it must be because learning makes him feel unhappy, so he must talk to the child well, let the child say his true feelings, and tell his recent learning and life experience.
In this process, parents need to be patient, but also need parents to make full use of their logical analysis ability, because children are usually not able to accurately say the reasons for their boredom, we need to combine the results of communication with children, for a comprehensive analysis.
Don't be angry with your child during this process, and tell your child to tell the truth, including the opinions of parents, teachers or classmates.
2. Communicate with teachers (school)
A child's daily life, in addition to the time at home, is a long time at school. We can find out for problems at home, but the reasons why our children are at school need to find them from the teacher, so we must communicate well with the teacher.
We must be concise and clear in communication, because teachers also have their own family life and their own work, and we should not take up too much of the teacher's time because of this problem.
This communication process can be carried out through WeChat, telephone, or with the help of parent-teacher conferences.
For a child who goes to school, home and school are most of his daily life, and after good communication with the teacher, it is inevitable that parents will have a fuller understanding of the child's situation in school.
3. Work with your family (family)
Combining the results of communication with children and teachers, parents also need to reflect on the reasons for the family, which requires all members of the family to work together.
Think about whether you usually have any places to pay attention to, whether you hurt your children in some inattentive places, or whether the family atmosphere is not conducive to children's learning, whether parents play games, whether playing games interferes with, affects children, and so on.
The family carefully analyzes the causes together, and then lists the results of the analysis, and on this basis, thinks about how to take targeted solutions, each child's situation is different, so the method to be taken varies from person to person.
The main manifestations of children's school aversion are inattention, passive learning, loss of interest, lack of urgency of time, improper study, and lack of serious homework. However, not only are most of these children mentally normal, but many are intellectually abnormal. It can be seen that aversion is mainly caused by non-intellectual factors. School-weary children have an unspeakable sense of depression about learning. When they mention learning, they feel uneasy and anxious. They have resistance to teachers or parents, poor academic performance, and moral problems, and when children are severely bored with school or affected by certain triggers, they often miss school, skip school or drop out.
What are the main harms of boredom
First, boredom seriously affects academic performance and forms a vicious circle
For children who are tired of school, after their parents do not meet their expectations, they will give up on themselves, and if their parents urge them to learn, the children will hate learning even more, which is a vicious circle.
Second, the formation of a vicious circle affects interpersonal relationships
School-weary children have poor academic performance, are easily discriminated against by teachers and classmates, and are more likely to give up on themselves and simply mix with their partners who have common encounters. Some even have a sense of revenge, and there will be acts such as rebellion, pranks, and bullying weak students, which will seriously affect their normal interpersonal interactions.
Third, it is easy to give up on self-abandonment and lose self-confidence
It is usually not that children who are bored with school do not want to study well, but lack the confidence to learn, and poor academic performance makes them lose confidence even more. Severe cases can drop out of school because of this, but the effect of school aversion on these children is far more than that. Setbacks in learning can create serious psychological shadows. As adults, these children often lack self-confidence and are even more frustrated in love and relationships.
Fourth, it creates psychological shadows and affects physical and mental growth
At present, the boredom of secondary school students has become a common phenomenon, and many parents have only a decline in their academic performance. Deep psychological counselors said that in fact, the problem of children's boredom will not only cause a decline in academic performance, but also affect the learning of other students, cause a bad atmosphere to the society, and seriously directly cause depression, anxiety, depression, dizziness, insomnia and other diseases, affecting physical and mental growth, so parents must pay enough attention.
If your child also has if your child is also bored with school, addicted to the Internet, early love, rebellious, inferior... and other phenomena, after multiple attempts are ineffective, you may wish to find a professional to help.
How to correct the child's school aversion?
1. Parents' expectations of their children should be reasonable. Most families are now only children, and it is common to expect too much from their children. Parental expectations that are divorced from the reality of the child and exceed the level of the child make the child tired of learning in an overloaded state, and this situation must be changed. As a parent, you should face the reality and reasonably adjust your expectations for your children, so that it is conducive to the growth of your children. Parents should always help their children to make appropriate estimates, neither blindly optimistic nor underestimating themselves. In this way, children can be in a psychological state of self-confidence without complacency, self-esteem without conceit, and self-improvement without self-abandonment. If parents have too high expectations, blindly buy learning counseling materials for their children, about three chapters of the law, require how many points must be scored on each subject in each exam, and rank first in the class, which will often cause children to be bored with school, afraid of learning, and even abandon school, skip school, and run away from home.
2. Correctly guide children to build self-confidence. Confidence is the key to success. The salient feature of school-weary children is the loss of self-confidence, if parents appropriately reduce the learning requirements of their children, create situations, let children succeed, experience the joy of success, will gradually let children establish self-confidence. In this way, students will have a positive and active motivation to learn, enhance self-confidence, overcome inferiority, and correct their boredom. When children make progress in each homework, exam or growth experience, parents should consciously give sincere praise and encouragement so that they can see hope and build confidence.
3. Create a relaxed and warm family atmosphere. Parents can formulate a scientific and reasonable learning schedule for their children's learning interests, learning abilities and children, but they do not have to completely change the daily life rules of the family. In addition, parents should not quarrel in front of their children for their children's learning and disagreements on family education opinions, and should not make their children feel very bored by thousands of dings and thousands of instructions all day long. When children are studying, parents should watch as little TV and socialize as much as possible, and children need a quiet, warm home that can be cared for, understood, supported, encouraged and comforted.
Every parent hopes that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix. So the most important thing is that we parents should put our minds at peace. Don't transfer the pressure indirectly to the child, maybe our child has worked hard, it may be that you are never satisfied. Smile more at our children, encourage our children more, and think more about the joy that children bring us. Maybe you and your kids will progress together!
Well, that's what I'm sharing with you today. If parents feel that they can help you in the process of educating their children, please share it with friends who are also in need, and we will escort the growth of their children together.
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Heart Freedom Education - Professional family psychological education chain brand
Shenzhen Heart Freedom Education Consulting Co., Ltd. (hereinafter referred to as: Heart Freedom Education) belongs to the Heart Dean Psychologist Group, is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Group, the Group began in 2007, Heart Freedom Education is the heart Dean Psychologist Group based on 15 years of industry experience to create a professional family psychological education chain brand.
According to the current situation of social family and adolescent psychological problems, combined with the Group's many years of teaching and research experience and big data research, Heart Freedom Education has exclusively developed the "AFG Peiyou System", which specializes in solving various family psychological education problems such as adolescents' aversion to school and rebellion, early love online love, electronic dependence, bad conduct, emotional disorders, family indifference, family relationships, personal growth, parent-child education and so on. Since its launch, the "AFG Peiyou System" has been widely recognized and highly praised by parents, and has proved to have a breakthrough and subversive guidance effect in practice!