Before reading today's article, please think about a question.
How would you react if your child was given an insulting nickname by a classmate at school?
A while ago, a #man was ridiculed by classmates because of his name, resulting in depression #on the hot search.
The reason was that the boy's name had the word "Kun", so his classmates played terriers and called him "Chicken Brother".
Even the boys' textbooks and desks were ridiculed by classmates writing the words "Chicken, you are so beautiful".
The boy told his teacher and parents, but his classmates still did not relent.
Finally, the boy was depressed and tired of school, and developed feelings of self-harm and self-harm.
"This kid's ability to withstand stress is too poor"
After this incident began to ferment, the most uncomfortable set of rhetoric I was used to was:
"Take a nickname and make mood, you will be depressed, this ability to resist pressure is too poor."
"Isn't that all between children? It's normal to tease each other."
I don't know when everyone especially admired this "serious you lose" attitude.
Every time someone made a joke, someone immediately said: "It's just a joke, why are you so serious" and "Yo yo is angry when you are ridiculed."
You're more serious, and you seem to be stingy.
This culture has also spread to schools, and even if children feel uncomfortable, parents will feel impatient: "Is this little thing worth being angry about?"
But today I have to say:
Jokes make people laugh, not make people angry.
Recently, everyone has seen the news that stand-up comedian House offended military personnel.
All jokes need to have a sense of boundaries, and jokes that don't care about other people's feelings and only want to please themselves are offensive.
This matter is full of mistakes, and it is definitely not the fault of the little boy's "weak ability to withstand pressure",
It's the fault of those classmates who talk about the rotten terriers of "chicken you are too beautiful" all day;
It is the fault of the teacher who knows that the child is miserable but still chooses to stand idly by;
It is the fault of parents who treat the child's call for help as a complaint and prevaricate in the past!
This incident is said to be ridicule, but it is actually bullying.
To put it bluntly, there is no deep hatred between children that cannot be resolved,
Bully you just because you look better at bullying.
If parents just let them endure, they will probably be more cowardly and timid when they grow up.
Although it is a blessing to suffer losses, it is also necessary to divide things with a degree.
Being more true in this kind of thing is the real responsibility for the child.
Is the nickname school bullying?
Some people may think, will I overreact?
Not!
Words that poke people's sore spots are not called jokes, that is called deliberate cheapness!
Engaging in this kind of degraded behavior for a long time is bullying!
According to a survey report released by CCTV News, "verbal abuse" is one of the most frequent ways of school violence, accounting for 74.55%.
A survey by the China Children's Safety Action Organizing Committee also showed that 81.45% of the primary school students interviewed believed that "language injury" was the most urgent school problem to be solved.
Moreover, insulting nicknames have long been characterized by the Education Bureau as bullying.
As early as 2018, Guangdong clearly stipulated that "insulting nicknames are bullying". The "Implementation Measures on Strengthening the Comprehensive Management Plan for Bullying of Primary and Secondary School Students (Trial)" formulated and issued by the Department of Education of Guangdong Province and other 13 departments has been implemented since December 1, 2018, which includes insulting nicknames and other behaviors in bullying incidents, and stipulates that serious bullying behaviors can be expelled from school.
On March 22, 2023, the Hunan Provincial Department of Education also issued the "Hunan Provincial Education System Special Governance Action Implementation Plan for Preventing Bullying of Primary and Secondary School Students", which clearly states that "five behaviors" constitute bullying, in addition to direct violent injury and intimidation, it is also clear that "soft violence" such as insulting nicknames, malicious exclusion, isolating others, and slandering others through the Internet also constitutes bullying.
Not to mention, many of the more serious school bullying starts with a small nickname.
A young boy in Canada was insulted as a "sissy" because he wore a pink shirt and was bullied at school.
This led to the birth of Pink Shirt Day, and the school of Buns also held such activities to tell children that "everyone is different, we must respect others and protect ourselves." ”
(Bun School's Anti-Bullying Day Campaign)
The world of children is no less stressed than adults, they will not solve and will not express, some internal injuries, if not untied in time, they will be stuck there, like burying a dumb, I don't know which day it will explode.
For children,
Adults are their last barrier to the world, isolated from the wind, rain, injury, and danger.
If even adults no longer defend their rights, children will be harmed even more brazenly.
Tough parents
It is an effective hole card for children's "riot prevention"
The American family therapy master Virginia Satya once said: Whether it is a king or a farmer, as long as his family is happy, he is the happiest person in the world.
I previously posted an article detailing the process of my girlfriend being "teased" by classmates because of the height of the child, and many sisters applauded:
In fact, my girlfriend did the right things:
1. Put yourself in the child's shoes and protect self-esteem;
2. Do not blindly trust the teacher and do not send the child casually;
3. Not too agitated, not critical, not complaining, and organized.
Take the initiative to ask the child, did not ignore the child's appeal, and gave enough security and dignity.
Children with such parents can't have a happy childhood.
Prevent and have a sense of self-protection in advance, because only in order to keep children away from harm as much as possible.
There is an old Chinese saying: "Everything is predetermined, and if it is not predetermined, it is abolished." ”
Tell us to prepare in advance for emergencies and surprises.
Parents should first give their children a "preventive vaccination" to help them divide the bottom line.
The following points must be remembered:
First, if you feel offended, be sure to say it;
Bullying people is originally a matter of testing principles. If you push today and don't fight back, tomorrow you may punch it.
In the child's eyes, I will take a step back without you taking a step, often taking a step back, and the other party is more arrogant.
Therefore, to tell children that the first time they encounter something that makes them uncomfortable, they must bravely say "no", directly show the bottom line, and do not have to please anyone.
2. Carry out physical exercise and cultivate excellent physical fitness;
Persimmons are specially picked for soft pinching. Weakness refers not only to personality, but also to stature. Proper physical activity not only develops a child's resilient character, but also looks more powerful than children of the same age.
3. Make more friends;
The child's world is also a small society, and children who are alone are often considered "withdrawn" and have no friends, and the bully party will think that such children are bullied and dare not tell parents and teachers.
Making more friends can also keep your child with company, companionship, and sometimes safety.
When encountering the problem of school bullying, be sure to ask the ins and outs of the matter, if the plot is not serious, let them solve it themselves, and parents can help.
If the matter is serious, do not let the child fight violence with violence or face it alone.
The former will make them think that "violent" means to solve the problem are justified, and the latter will make things worse if done incorrectly.
Bao Mama thought in pieces
Before the execution of the demon Sun Xiaoguo, he repeatedly shielded his mother Sun Heyu and said to the interview camera
Writer Mai Jiajia said,
Childhood is a tail that wants to be cut and cut continuously, and it is a trace that cannot disappear on the concrete floor.
It is not a blessing to be young, because parents also bear all the pain for their children.
But sooner or later, children will need to face this complex world alone.
I only hope that every child can grow up with confidence, and looking back on childhood, it is not a devastation that cannot be erased,
It's a good memory that will make your future life richer.
When fighting the storm of the outside world alone, you can face everything without fear:
"It's okay, I have parents to support me!"