"The counselor will guide you, but will not force you, her empathy will make you feel, tear open the wound, although it hurts, but there will be no fear." 」
Here is our #Visitors Say# column. Here you will read about the real experience that took place in the counseling room, and through the client's first-hand narrative, we hope to let more people understand how counseling works for individuals who are trying to find help.
Today's article is submitted by A.X., which hopes to help reduce the public's misunderstanding of psychological counseling by sharing the experience and thinking of how psychological counseling can help you get out of trauma.
Everyone who is "sick" is different. Different heart disease, different medical experience, different rehabilitation process, different results.
Therefore, the following text is just my personal psychological counseling experience, but I hope that more people can correctly recognize the important role of psychological counseling in the process of "rehabilitation", and find and accept their true selves.
Here are a few of the main points I summarized about psychological counseling:
01
Please do not be biased against counseling
After I took the diagnosis of "severe mixed depressive anxiety disorder" and went home with the medicine prescribed by the doctor, the whole person was confused.
At that time, the physical symptoms were very serious, so I put all my hopes on drugs, and I didn't have the heart to consider psychological counseling at all, and even felt that "just spending a lot of money to find someone to chat with" was not necessary.
But my mother was very insistent, so on the third day of diagnosis, I only promised to "try it" and met my counselor. From diagnosis to gradual recovery, I insisted on psychological counseling for 14 months. All I can say is – behind the door of counseling is another world, and you'll grow a lot with the help of a counselor. Go give it a try, because I started by trying too.
Image source: "Husband suffers from depression"
02
Do I need psychological counseling after "getting sick"?
My answer is yes!
In my personal experience, the recovery period is about 14 months, and it is true that the drug has played a great role in the early stage, but when the sense of utility of the drug gradually weakens in the later stage, psychological counseling will help you get out of the unhealthy state and grow, in essence, this is the real healing.
Because my physical symptoms are very severe, panic disorder attacks are frequent, and I can't sleep, so my focus at the beginning of the treatment is on whether the physical symptoms are relieved.
Oral drugs have a great effect on these problems, basically three or four months, my physical symptoms are much better, leaving only some small problems to slowly metabolize.
But because the shadow brought by the physical symptoms when I was sick was too large, I was like a frightened bird whenever there was a sesame problem in my body, I would have difficulty breathing, my body temperature would rise, my anxiety would be uncontrollable, and yes, it was a stress response.
Therefore, drugs can only solve the immediate dilemma, but mental illness, in the final analysis, still needs to rely on the construction of a good psychological state to cope with many future adventures, otherwise we will still be knocked down when we encounter problems in the future.
The role of the counselor is more inclined to the psychological "parent", because too many people in real life are not "adult" in the true sense.
The counselor will find problems in your psychological growth process, and make yourself grow by sorting out these problems, so even if you encounter many new situations in the future, you have the ability to face them alone, rather than forcing yourself to get sick.
A very deep wound, the drug is best to stop the bleeding, but the real healing, but also need the wound to slowly grow and heal itself.
The old saying always says that "heart disease also needs heart medicine", which is not false.
03
The choice and matching degree of the consultant
I learned about the simple psychological app after recommendation, and looking for a counselor is completely to look at the eye edge. Those long-winded educational backgrounds or study abroad backgrounds are of little use to laymen like me.
From the perspective of a client, the quality of a psychological counseling is still focused on whether the client and the counselor are "suitable", that is, some people say that the matching degree.
If the consultation process is not very smooth, I hope you will relax yourself first, at least do not resist the consultation. Because a lot of people are resistant to counseling, not to counselors.
If conditions permit, you can choose a more experienced counselor, as for the choice of counselor gender, the advice is: as a girl, I think it is better to choose a female counselor, especially when it comes to some private topics, it is easier to unload defenses and communicate calmly; and the dependence on the counselor in the early stage of counseling will be very high, and even some clients think that they have "love" for their opposite-sex counselors.
04
The first consultation should be noted
If you have a diagnostic secretary to bring, some test reports should also be brought, which can help your counselor have some simple and specific understanding of you.
Relax your mind and don't get nervous.
The problem with early counseling is that the counselor says very little because she needs to know about your past, and the more you talk about it, the more information she learns, the more entry points she has.
So take it easy, say whatever you want, don't be like me, every consultation in the early stage is like a poor student who is called to the blackboard to do a question, eager to take the scratch paper full of answers and read it on the table.
In addition, there is also a point that in the initial stage of the consultation or even the whole stage, there are some problems that the client will not easily reveal, and this is the case in the first 5 months of my consultation, which can be said to be no progress in the consultation.
Although I trust my consultant very much, there are some things I still keep silent, and even I can feel that there is a wall between myself and the consultant, at first I didn't want to go out, then I wanted to go out, but I didn't know how to go out, this period is actually a bit difficult.
During this time, the counselor will guide you, but will not force you, her empathy will make you feel, and although it will hurt when you tear open the wound, it will not be afraid.
She always told me, "Don't worry, it'll be fine, you and me."
So please take off your disguise and find and accept your true self.
The teacher said: Peace of mind is the only way to be at ease.
If you can't tell the severity of your symptoms, aren't sure if you should see a counselor or a doctor, or even find it difficult to discern the right resources for help, perhaps our Psychological Assessment service can help you accurately and efficiently.