Maybe many people already understand how to start a counseling relationship, or maybe you're going through a period of psychological healing. But after a period of consultation, you may have the question, "When do I stop needing a counselor?" "How do I end a consulting relationship?" ”
For psychological counseling, many people will have all kinds of questions, which is normal. Therefore, we have prepared this popular science article for you in the hope of answering your questions.
"You obviously bring up a lot of your own issues during counseling," says Tuzman, director of social work services at Hillside Hospital in New York, "and you can go on and on all of these topics with the counselor, but at some point, the client needs to bring what they've learned in the counseling to real life, and the counselor shouldn't let the client develop a lifelong dependence." ”
"Counseling is all about making counselors useless one day." Dr. Joseph Neapolitan, associate director of psychiatry at Engwood Medical Center in New Jersey, agrees, "Just as you leave your parents when you grow up, you should develop the necessary competencies to eventually leave your counselor and live your own life." ”
01
How long is it enough to do psychological counseling?
How long does counseling take? It depends on what purpose you first entered the counseling room and what genre-oriented counseling you received.
"Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, is designed to achieve specific goals," says Naples.
"If you're afraid to drive, then at the beginning of the consultation, the counselor will work with you to agree on the duration of the consultation — maybe 10-20 times — and then the counseling will combine talk therapy, relaxation techniques, and some exercises designed to get you back on the wheel to address the problem." Once your symptoms are gone, the counselor can 'disappear'. ”
"And the more self-exploratory counseling — exploring how you became who you are today and how it affected your life— will be more in-depth and therefore last longer."
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Napoli said: "As a consultant, you look forward to seeing the client as a mature person to start dealing with his current situation. He has learned to observe his own behavior, understand its implications, and is able to do something to change the behaviors and circumstances that initially prompted him to seek counseling. ”
But even for long-term counseling, there will always be an end to that day, whether it's a year, two years, or longer. If you have a good consulting relationship with your counselor, then the decision to end the consultation should not be a one-way street, regardless of which side you look at.
"It's not something that either side can decide without permission," said Dr. Norman Rosenthal, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University in Washington, "and it should be decided by both parties in consultation." ”
"If you want to end the consultation," Rosenthal said, "you can ask yourself these questions first: "Are you no longer learning something new from the consultation?" ”
Or, to put it another way, "Have you achieved what you originally planned to achieve?" Do you feel that the world and your relationship can be controlled by yourself? ”
"These questions will have answers in your heart," Rosenthal said, "and listen to what your heart says." ”
02
What kind of consultant is a good counselor?
"A good counselor should also listen to the message coming from within," Rosenthal said.
When a client asks to end a consultation, he also asks himself questions: Does it mark healthy independence? Has the visitor solved the main problem of bringing him into the consultation room?
"Good consultants are results-oriented," Rosenthal said.
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Ending a counseling relationship doesn't have to stop abruptly. If you were supposed to go once a week, you could reduce it to once every other week, and then maybe once a month. You and the counselor can discuss and agree on how long this transition period will last.
Rosenthal said: "I don't think it's a big deal to terminate the consultation, the client goes into the counseling room, deals with their problems, and then moves on. If there are other problems in the future, they can always come back. ”
03
What should I do if the existing consultation does not work?
"It can happen," Tuzman told us, "and if you don't make the changes you want, you may need to see another counselor." That doesn't mean you have to leave in anger. If your counselor has something that bothers you, you can tell him directly. ”
"Counselors are also human beings," Tuzman says, "and there are also things that can happen in your counselor's life that affect the way he gets along with you, and you can go talk to him about your feelings and listen to his feedback." ”
"Of course, try to see all possible scenarios. Are you really mad at him? Or are you resisting touching something that makes you uncomfortable? ”
Even if you feel you're ready to try your hand out in real society without the protection of a therapist, don't be surprised that ending the consultation can still bring you a series of conflicting emotions.
"When counseling is done, you realize that you are a mature person," Tuzman said, "and you start to believe in yourself." ”
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"But just as you're proud to be prepared for life's challenges, you may also grieve for losing the connection you've forged with a counselor," Napoli says, "and it's a very unique relationship where you show this person (the counselor) your soul and he doesn't judge you in any way." ”
"Leaving your counselor has been a bittersweet experience," Napoli adds, "and you're moving forward, but you're also losing a relationship that means a lot to you." ”
"Ending a counseling should mean a success story," Rosenthal said, "and it's an opportunity for you to say that I think I can move on now and start facing the real world and be happy about it, and that's what counseling is about." ”
As the authors put it, "Ending a consultation doesn't mean we don't need a counselor anymore, and we can come back at any time if something else goes wrong in the future." ”
If you don't know when to end counseling and want to change counselors but don't know what to do, maybe our Psychological Assessment service can help.
After the Psychological Assessment, we will provide mental health support for more than 3 months, during which time you can always communicate with the Case Manager if you have any confusion about the psychological service.
In addition to this, the Psychological Assessment can also provide you with the following support:
1. The international standard psychometric scale system and 1v1 in-depth interviews help you explore your mental state efficiently;
2. In a warm and safe environment, help you understand what kind of mental health services are needed;
3. A professional psychological assessment consultant will match you with the right mental health plan.
4. Help you be more clear about which issues are the most noteworthy, what their possible causes are, and, if you need to seek the help of a counselor, what kind of counselor is best for you.
The data shows that after the "psychological assessment" into the psychological counseling, the consultation matching degree is effectively increased by 5 times.