Have you ever met someone I was poor and reasonable?
When I was in college, I met such a person, she was my college classmate.
At that time, this classmate asked me to borrow money, saying that his laptop was broken and needed repairs, and borrowed 100 yuan from me. In fact, I didn't know her well, at best I knew each other's names, and I didn't intersect. However, after all, it was a classmate, and it was not good to brush the other party's face, plus there was some savings in his hand, so he agreed to her and transferred 100 yuan to her.
When borrowing money, this classmate thanked him many times, and stressed more than once that when she got the living expenses half a month later, she would repay the money as soon as possible.
What I didn't expect was that half a month had passed, and two months had passed since she had contacted me again. At first, I was embarrassed to urge, and after my roommate knew, she told me that she had borrowed money many times and had not repaid it many times, that she was a habitual offender, and that if you did not ask for it, she might think that there was no such thing.
So I sent her a message asking when she would pay it back, but got a response like this.
"You live on 2,000 a month, is there still a difference of 100 yuan?" But I, my family is not well-off, the monthly living expenses are only 600, and the rest are earned by themselves..."
To put it bluntly, what she meant was that the money could not be repaid for a while and a half, and the roommate saw it, couldn't bear it, and replied for me: "Your family is not well-off, and it is not the reason why you owe money and do not pay it back, is other people's money picked up on the road?" ”
Eventually, the 100 bucks were coming back, but since then, the two of us have not even had to say hello when we met.
Psychologist Freud said: In any relationship, we must dare to guard our boundaries with anger, and people have no anger, just like a country is not armed.
When you meet someone who is poor and reasonable, whether he is your relatives and friends, or a stranger who meets in Pingshui, you must have your own bottom line, and you can't directly eat dumb losses, otherwise, when the other party has no temper, you may continue to make unreasonable demands with you and hit your idea again.
"My parents and my brother are the kind of people who think I'm poor and reasonable, obviously they are eccentric, unfair, and accuse me of being scheming, not filial piety and brotherhood."
When it comes to his family, Wu Nan feels very sad.
01.
The reason why Wu Nan clashed with his family and felt that his family was eccentric was because of his marriage with his brother.
"My brother and I are twins, both have girlfriends, and are planning to get married. According to the arrangement, I set the wedding date for the next month, and my brother got married around the National Day. ”
For a man, marriage is a very expensive thing, both to pay the bride price, but also to buy a marriage house, even if the woman is willing to make a down payment with the man, the man also needs to prepare hundreds of thousands of dollars to get married. This money is undoubtedly an astronomical amount for young people who have just graduated for a few years, and most people can't afford it and need the support of their parents.
There are boys in the family, and saving money to marry their sons is also the consensus of parents. Wu Nan's parents worked hard for decades, saved money, and saved a sum of money for their son to marry.
However, what Wu Nan did not expect was that her parents saved nearly 500,000 yuan, all of which were spent on her brother.
"The bride price is 180,000, the marriage room is 250,000, and the remaining 70,000 yuan is for the wedding, and my parents have not said it is enough."
Wu Nan's girlfriend also wants the bride price money, as long as 66,000, the girlfriend is an only child, the family is well-off, and the bride price is just an attitude, which makes Wu Nan feel very satisfied.
However, the reason why her brother's girlfriend wants a dowry of 180,000 yuan is that her brother also needs to get married.
Wu Nan is dissatisfied with her parents spending all their savings on her brother, so how can she get married? Although it is not difficult to take out the dowry money, Wu Nan has this savings, but what to do when buying a house?
In the face of Wu Nan's questioning, his parents gave an explanation: "Your salary is 3 times that of your brother, you only need time, you can save money to buy a house, I see that you have a good relationship with your girlfriend, you tell her, first rent a house to get married, and save money to buy a house together." Your brother is different, if you don't agree to the woman's request, your brother's marriage will be in vain. ”
Wu Nan could not understand his parents' plans and questioned them: "Why do you only buy a house for your brother and get married?" ”
In this regard, parents only gave four words as an explanation, that is, the capable person worked more. In their view, since Wu Nan has a job, he should find a way to solve the marriage problem by himself, the younger brother is incompetent, and if the parents do not help, the younger brother will have to beat the bare stick.
02.
Indeed, Wu Nan's personal abilities were very different from those of his younger brother.
Wu Nan has studied hard since childhood, strong self-control, excellent grades, admitted to the best university in itself, after graduation, Wu Nan's performance is remarkable, he can be promoted and raised, at present, the monthly salary is about 15,000.
However, Wu Nan's younger brother was afraid of hardship, under the doting of his parents, he was only admitted to a three-book university, and after graduation, he entered a small company to work, and it did not take long to endure the hardships of overtime, and chose to jump ship, his brother graduated for three years, changed seven or eight jobs, and the monthly salary has not been able to break through 5,000 yuan.
In Wu Nan's view, the reason why the younger brother's income is so low is not only because the younger brother is lazy and lazy, afraid of hardship, and does not seek progress, but also because the parents are too fond of the younger brother and are not willing to strictly require their sons.
"I didn't get good grades and fell down, they either scolded me or mixed doubles, my brother ranked down, and they were reluctant to scold once. I remember once, my brother skipped class and was beaten by the teacher, and my mother called the principal to complain about the teacher, and after that, no one dared to take care of my brother. ”
Wu Nan believes that the younger brother is not a tool, it has nothing to do with him, the younger brother enjoys the resources of the family like him, and the incomplete instrument should not be paid by him.
"It's not that I'm preoccupied, but if my parents don't help me, I really can't buy a house." My girlfriend wants less bride price, she is already very considerate of me, let her rent a house with me to get married, how can I be embarrassed to open my mouth? ”
03.
However, his parents did not understand Wu Nan's thoughts at all, but instead accused Wu Nan of not having the responsibility of his brother.
"With your brother's income, it is difficult to support the family, and we still expect you to help!" Unexpectedly, you even have to worry about your brother about marriage events, how can you count on you in the future? ”
Dare to love, the parents also hope that they will become a brother-in-law demon, and continue to raise their brother's whole family after marriage, which can make Wu Nan angry and clearly tell his parents that it is impossible.
Wu Nan fell out with her parents, and her parents told people everywhere that Wu Nan was not filial piety, and the matter also reached the ears of Wu Nan's girlfriend.
When the girlfriend learned that Wu Nan could not afford to buy a wedding house, she also felt very embarrassed: "I am the pearl in the palm of my parents, and the parents do not want much dowry to be considerate enough. Also, I am afraid of your original family, and I am afraid that your parents will mess around and force you to become a brother-in-law demon, after all, your brother is indeed very uncontentious and difficult to assume the responsibility of supporting the family. ”
Although Wu Nan repeatedly promised, but the girlfriend's parents have clearly expressed their opposition to this marriage, in the end, Wu Nan can not contact his girlfriend, greatly shocked, but also determined, will resist to the end, absolutely do not do to help the brother demon.
04.
Wu Nan's girlfriend chose to give up this relationship, which is indeed very desperate, but it is also understandable.
As lu qi, an emotional expert, said: "When you marry, you are not married to a certain person, but to all the social relations of this person." So what kind of family you marry, what kind of marriage will you have. ”
Judging from the behavior of Wu Nan's parents, they are bound to force this capable eldest son to become a brother-in-law demon, help the younger son, rob the rich and help the poor, even if Wu Nan can stick to his bottom line, he and his parents cannot avoid conflicts, and his spouse will also be troubled by the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and relatives. Choosing to give up is also for your own consideration.
The unreasonable original family on the stall is a great misfortune of a person, if you choose to admit your fate and choose to compromise, your life will be ruined by your own hands.
END.
XiaoQi asked you to comment: Do you think that Wu Nan's girlfriend's breakup is absolutely heartless? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.