Due to work adjustments, working day time, temporarily unable to send articles, adjusted to publish study notes. (The content of the notes comes from: books, official accounts, Zhihu, Weibo, paid communities, does not represent personal views)
1. How to view the rebellion of children in adolescence?
Your relationship with your child is a process of mutual learning.
In the process of caring for children, you better understand yourself, through external interactions, deeper understanding and understanding of yourself.
When the child is small, it is relatively weak, and this time we take care of the child.
As children grow up and enter a period of rebellion, they must learn to let go slowly.
The child himself will take the initiative to grow from a state of dependence to a state of independence.
The child does not listen to you, does not agree with your ideas, the parents are not ready to let go, and habitually want to manage the child.
And the child grows up and feels that he has the strength to fight against his parents.
One wants to manage, one does not want to be managed, and the so-called adolescent rebellion period is formed.
In the face of children in the rebellious period, consciously guide children to be independent and self-reliant, no longer dependent on others, let alone mutual dependence, the essence of dependence is not love.
Many parents, through their children's dependence on themselves, constantly seek to identify themselves and prove their worth.
True love is the love of letting go.
Everyone's life is their own responsibility, and so are children.
We as parents are not responsible for the lives of our children, but at first we need to take care of them, and then we have to slowly learn to let go!
2. Firmly believe that you have great potential
One thing great people have in common is that they are constantly developing the potential of their brains.
Conversely, many people who are latecomers are not without potential, but do not believe that they have potential.
After experiencing one or two failures, I always suspect that I am stupid, and constantly strengthen the idea of "my own brain is stupid".
Over time, the nerve that feels stupid in my brain becomes stronger and stronger in my ability to work, and I form a habit.
At present, think of yourself stupid first, think of yourself as not good, and do not give those potential abilities and brain nerves the opportunity to work.
So, of course, the potential is buried.
Some people complain that society buries talents, but in fact, when they think about it, there are many more talents buried by themselves than there are talents buried by society.
To develop the potential of your own brain and develop the intellectual resources of your brain, the first thing that matters is to firmly believe that you have great potential.
3. How to cultivate children's habits?
To cultivate children's habits, we must not criticize one pass, reprimand a pass, take a political lesson, and talk about a big truth.
It is important to start from the child's behavior and guide the child to put the determination and the slogan into action.
How to cultivate?
1. Guide children to say less empty words and do more practical things.
Some children just talk about it, and we are not used to his problem.
Guide your child to be a dwarf in language and a giant in action.
2. First slow motion.
Turning on a brain machine is also like driving a car.
If you cultivate the habit of writing a diary, do not be demanding for the first time, just write one sentence.
Cultivate the habit of long-distance running, and it is good to run 200 meters at a time.
Don't rush to achieve everything at the beginning, want to eat a bite to become a fat man, so that the child will find it difficult and difficult, and thus lose interest in doing things.
3. Gradually accelerate.
If the diary is long enough to write two or three sentences per article, and the running is long enough to run 300 meters a day, on the basis of slow motion, gradually increase the amount, unconsciously, the brain this car runs faster than the previous few days.
4. Don't be afraid of slowness, just stand.
If you are in a bad mood to write a diary and cannot write a good article, you can write a few words less, but do not stop.
Abandon the idea that "if you don't do one thing, you must do it perfectly";
Establish the idea that action is stronger than utopianism, and as long as it is done, it is better than not doing it.
Many people fail to develop good habits, which are related to the desire to be perfect.
5. Control time and space, make plans.
To further cultivate habits, it is necessary to develop a more comprehensive plan to enhance children's control over the time and space of self-action.
From the time, discuss with the child the action plan from morning to night, when to run, exercise, sing, and read extracurricular books.
How many minutes does each activity take?
Make daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly schedules orderly and beneficial.
From the space is suitable to be able to grasp their own environment, what song hall, bar, Internet café, billiard room these places, once you go in, it is easy to lose self-control, involuntarily give up good habits.
Pay attention to the time of planning, the task indicators should not be set too high.
To make the child feel that a little effort can be achieved, a little jump, the fruit can be plucked.
6. Enter the track.
The child acts according to the plan, gradually improves the learning efficiency, exercises regularly and quantitatively every day, prepares, does problems, memorizes words, writes a diary, sings, and does something at a certain time.
If you keep doing practical things according to the plan, the inertia will become more and more large, just like a train on the track, the satellite enters the orbit, and it will never stop and go again.
Entering the orbit, of course, also needs to be overhauled.
What needs to be prevented is external interference, and the second is internal obstacles, and the undesirable temptation to the outside world should be cut off in time.
The best way to deal with internal faults, such as bad mood, recurrence of old diseases, and hesitation and procrastination, is not to criticize, not to reprimand, but to direct attention to doing the practical and small things that are within the reach of the time as quickly as possible.
Once a person starts doing practical things, the brain cells responsible for poor work such as worrying and hesitating rest.
4, do not take the initiative to give advice and advice to others
One characteristic of superficiality is the habit of giving advice and advice to others.
Such a person does not know that his life experience and experience are narrow and limited, nor does he realize that everyone's life experience and experience is destined to be special and different.
They think they have the only right in the world, but they may never have thought that there can be countless truths in this world at the same time.
Moreover, there is no such thing as "right".
5. The meaning of meeting
The meaning of meeting each other is to illuminate each other, otherwise, it is also romantic for a person to drink, and a person can be sober when blowing the wind.