The writer ShiYi once said: The root cause of disputes in multi-child families is not the love of brothers and sisters, but the injustice of parents.
The injustice of parents can become a weapon to hurt their children. In particular, the parents prefer sons to daughters, obviously relying on their daughters for the elderly, but they still continue to spend money for their sons, and in the end they have to accuse their daughters of filial piety.
Such unjust parents are a disaster for their children. Parents talk about morality and responsibility, and children cannot resist, but they cannot bear it, and they can only suffer day after day.
01, parents have 2 sons, but only live in the daughter's home
After five years of supporting her parents, Molly was exhausted and had to beg her parents to find her two brothers for the elderly, and she was really powerless.
Molly is 34 years old and the youngest daughter in the family. Other people's children are loved by their parents, but in the eyes of their parents, Molly, the daughter, is a tool person who earns money for the family and supports her two sons.
Before she got married, her parents always told her that she was earning money outside the home and sending the money home, and her two brothers were waiting to marry and have children. Later, the two brothers took turns to marry and have children, spent all their parents' savings, and let their parents carry hundreds of thousands of foreign debts.
And this foreign debt was eventually thrown to Molly by her parents. Molly could not resist and could only silently help her parents pay off their debts. It was difficult to pay off the foreign debt, and when Molly and her husband got married, they were penniless and were looked down upon by their in-laws for a long time.
If it is only her parents robbing the rich and helping the poor before marriage, molly is also willing to look at the parenting grace of her parents for more than twenty years. It's just that she is married and has a family, but her parents still haven't let her go.
After the parents took turns to live in the homes of the two sons for a month, the parents decided decisively to go to the daughter's home for the elderly, saying that although the son was good, he did not act at home, blindly controlled by his wife, and the two daughters-in-law were the masters of the family, and they could not tolerate them.
Molly saw that her parents were pitiful, so she begged her husband to take her parents in. As a result, since then, the parents have rooted in their own homes and have never moved away.
02, daughter tears: parents spend money for their sons, while kidnapping their daughters for the elderly
Molly's momentary softness of heart also made her parents even more inching forward later. Although the husband is kind and atmospheric, he has never said Molly. However, the in-laws' family has a lot of opinions about Molly's poverty alleviation mother's family, and always complains in front of her son from time to time to stir up dissension.
But fortunately, her husband did not think so, and did not force Molly to send her parents away. It's just that Molly's side is fighting for the opportunity for her parents to stay, but her parents have repeatedly disappointed and chilled her.
Molly's parents have a pension, a total of 6,000 yuan per month. Although the money is not much, but the parents now live with Molly, the clothes, shoes and socks all year round are molly's money, no need for parents to spend snacks.
As a result, the parents' pension was justifiably used to subsidize the two brothers. If it were not for the sister-in-law accusing her parents of being biased against her younger son, giving her younger son 4,000 a month, but only giving herself 2,000, Molly would still be kept in the dark by her parents.
Molly confronted her parents, but her parents did not hesitate to admit it, and said that in their hometown, the family property was left to their sons, and they now followed their daughters to the pension, without spending any money, this money was spent on two sons, that is, spent on grandchildren, which was taken for granted.
Molly admitted that she was cold, and she asked her parents, what about me, you follow me to the pension, can't you understand my embarrassment and pressure?
Parents say with a straight face that if you have difficulties with the daughter who marries out and spills out the water, you should find your in-laws and son-in-law to solve it, instead of looking for us. Who has a daughter who marries out and asks her parents for money to spend?
03, the daughter asked someone to go: whoever the money was given, he would find who to retire
The words of her parents made Molly laughable and angry. She has no intention of arguing with her parents anymore, but just tells her parents that whoever gives the money will find who will be the pension, and you should still move away and go to find two brothers to retire. After all, your pension is given to them, and they are obligated to retire.
Parents are anxious as soon as they hear it, how does this work? It is okay to spend money on two sons, but if you go to find two sons for the elderly, it is undoubtedly the kind that sends yourself to be a free nanny and has to paste money upside down.
Parents are reluctant and think that their daughter is married, but they are still obliged to support their parents. Thinking of her parents' words about spending money on their sons, and letting their daughters retire and feel at ease, Molly realized for the first time that she was an ATM in the eyes of her parents.
Molly no longer felt sorry for her parents' suffering, but let her mother-in-law come to the door to make trouble. After being tossed around several times and the parents had no face, the parents had to go to their two sons to discuss the pension.
Hindered by the attitude of the two sisters-in-law, the two brothers still want to consult with Molly, saying that they are under a lot of pressure now, and their parents are still more comfortable living in their sister's house. Molly listened to the two brothers prevaricating at each other, and she sneered in her heart.
The two brothers discussed in the end, you don't let me and I don't let you, no one will take my parents to the pension, and almost fight over it. At this moment, Molly was remorseful, why she was so soft-hearted in the first place, helping her parents raise two brothers.
She didn't say anything, just left 3,000 yuan for her parents, and then went straight home. I don't know how the two brothers discussed, and finally the parents took turns to live in each family for a month.
But only once did they take turns, the parents regretted it, and complained to Molly, saying that living in their son's house was miserable, and the daughter-in-law was disgusted, forcing them to take out their pension. Come to think of it, it is still the most comfortable to retire in your daughter's home.
Molly was neither soft-hearted nor echoed. Because she finally understood that she had taken care of everything, but in the end, no one was grateful to her. Her parents were like this, and the two brothers-in-law accused her of throwing the pot and being selfish.
Today's Topic:
Do you think that in a family with many sons, parents can support themselves?