If couples want to have a good relationship, in addition to paying more, they must also have "eye color"

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In the journey of intimacy, learn the only way to happiness.

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Text | Xiaomi Du Picture | Source network

Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you

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In the variety show "Wife's Romantic Trip", the sweet interaction between Qin Hailu and Wang Xinjun made many viewers envious.

In front of her husband, qin Hailu, the shadow queen, transformed into a little princess and was held in the palm of her hand by Wang Xinjun.

Qin Hailu did not want to get up in the morning, and Wang Xinjun would bring breakfast to the bed for her to eat. She does not have to do housework at home, goes out to climb the mountain, loves beauty and is afraid of tiredness, and her husband will help her carry her shoes.

In the face of netizens wondering why Wang Xinjun spoiled his wife so much, he said: "There is no love for no reason." ”

A month before the wedding, Wang Xinjun's brother and father died one after another, which made him sad. Qin Hailu was considerate of her husband, canceled the wedding, and completed all the big and small things herself.

Later, Qin Hailu stood up with a big belly, and he also had to take care of his family and work, and Wang Xinjun saw it in his eyes and remembered it in his heart. He must spoil his wife well, and having a wife like this is the greatest happiness in his life.

What does a good marriage look like?

Bafali Nix said, "Marriage is like a book, the first chapter is a psalm, and the rest is like plain prose." ”

We all hope to be able to work with the people we love to grow old, when the initial passion fades, when life is flat as water, we still hope that the marriage can always be stable and happy.

So, how do couples get along so that they can get better and better? Let's take a look at what smart people do.

01

Read each other's emotions

Lin Huiyin said: "On the stem of memory, who does not have two or three flowers, draped in emotions. ”

Read each other's emotions and give comfort when the other party is wronged; give encouragement when discouraged; give hugs when happy, so that the hearts of two people will be closer.

Xiaofei is a full-time wife, and the hard work of taking the baby and the triviality of housework are not easier than going to work. Husband David is an IT man, and overtime is commonplace.

One day, the baby had a fever, and Xiaofei took the baby in the hospital for a day, very tired.

As soon as she entered the house, She began to cry again.

Xiao Fei saw Dawei slumped on the sofa, and suddenly roared: "As soon as I go home, I lie down, and I don't know how to take the handle, is this home my alone?" ”

Dawei heard it, knew that his wife was not in the right mood, quickly stepped forward, took the baby over and coaxed her, changed the baby's diaper, fed her milk, settled in, and went to pour a glass of water for XiaoFei.

Dawei gently hugged Xiao Fei and said, "It's hard to take the baby, drink the saliva, take a break, I'll go cook." ”

Because of Dawei's warm hugs and thoughtful words, Xiaofei's mood instantly improved, and she and Dawei went into the kitchen to cook.

Sometimes we don't need to say much, a word, a hug, and we will try to read each other.

Tolstoy once said, "We love each other as equals because we know each other and understand each other." ”

Everyone has emotions, and both husband and wife will encounter a lot of unsatisfactory and unsatisfactory work and life.

If you wantonly vent your emotions and do not care about the feelings of the other party, you will often hurt the other party.

Learning to see with the eyes, using the heart to understand each other's expressions, actions, and language, reading the emotions behind these, and responding warmly in time is the stabilizer of a happy marriage.

02

Affirm the other person's efforts

Lu Yao wrote in "The Ordinary World": "True love is altruistic rather than self-interested." ”

Attraction is the foundation of love, and giving is the expression of love. Working hard and seeing each other's efforts for the family is the best way to run a marriage together.

The colleague of the unit, Qin Teacher, is very busy at work and often fails to leave work on time. Her husband's working hours are relatively fixed, so most of the housework is covered by her husband.

Every day when she was about to leave work, she would call her husband, who would start preparing meals.

When teacher Qin went downstairs to the door of the house, as soon as he rang the doorbell, his husband began to stir-fry. He said: "In this way, when teacher Qin returns home, washes his hands, and can eat the freshest and hottest meal." ”

Everyone envied Teacher Qin for having such treatment, and Teacher Qin said: "I also feel very happy and have such a considerate husband." She often praised her husband, thanked him for his dedication to the family, and also felt guilty that she had paid too little for the family.

Her husband said: "Teacher Qin is serious and responsible, and she is also paying for our family." I originally liked to cook vegetables and cook for my lover, which I didn't think was a big deal. ”

Their happiness makes everyone envious.

Schopenhauer once said, "Do what you want, but don't ask for what you want." ”

In marriage, people who are willing to give do not necessarily have to be appreciated, but they should also be eager to be affirmed. So, don't skimp on praise, to affirm the other party's efforts, he will be willing.

If only one person pays all the time, and the other party turns a blind eye and does not respond, then such a marriage is doomed to fail.

Only by seeing the efforts of both sides, knowing how to understand and affirming each other, can love be affectionate and add warmth and infinity, and can it last forever.

03

Encourage each other's growth

There is a classic line in the movie "Listening with Your Ears": "Because of you, I am willing to be a better person, not to be your burden, in order to match you, I will work hard." 」 ”

Making each other better is true love.

Xiao Ai and Da Qi were boyfriend and girlfriend when they were in their freshman year, and Xiao Ai studied medicine and had to study for 7 years. When she graduated, she was faced with an important choice, to find a job, or to go abroad to continue her doctoral studies.

This distinction takes two or three years, Xiao Ai is reluctant to do so, but the opportunity to study for a doctorate is not easy to come by.

Daqi encouraged her: "Learning more can not only improve medical skills, but also benefit patients." Should go, I support you, I wait for you. ”

3 years later, Xiao Ai Xuecheng came back, married Daqi, gave birth to a baby, became an excellent talent in a third-class hospital, and was about to become a deputy director.

Daqi, who has been working for many years, also wants to have further promotion, and after Xiao Ai knew his ideas, he encouraged: "You go to graduate school, I will come to the family." ”

Today, it is because of Xiao Ai's support that Daqi graduated from graduate school, found a better job, and entered the company's management.

Two people work hard for each other, encourage each other, and gradually grow from ordinary to extraordinary, which is the best appearance of marriage.

Qian Zhongshu once summed up his love affair with Yang Dai in one sentence: "Uniquely combines the three incompatible: wife, lover, and friend." ”

No matter what role everyone plays, they need to continue to grow. Only by growing up can we have a better ability to build a happy and happy family.

A happy marriage is not to drag the partner's hind legs, but to hope that he will develop in a better direction. Encourage the other person when he wanders; rejoice in him when he achieves.

Witnessing each other's growth is the most romantic.

04

John Gottman said: "Love and praise are very important factors in maintaining a valuable, long-term relationship life. ”

No couple can guarantee a passionate, romantic, sweet intimacy at all times.

But it is important to learn the only way to happiness in the journey of intimacy.

You must know how to control your emotions, read each other's emotions; learn to pay, but also be grateful for each other's efforts; continue to grow, but also encourage each other's growth, to obtain stable happiness.

May your marriage and harmony be beautiful and happy for a long time.

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