The more it hurts, the more you have to love

- "Get through the sonorous threesome" live class notes

Teachers: Sauvignon Blanc, Changyue, Wang Shuang

Because the class notes and insights of the last lesson were praised by the instructor, I was very happy, more confident and motivated to continue.

Therefore, parents should also identify with and encourage their children and pat their rainbow farts more.

Teacher Chang Yue said that her child once said angrily that he would try to get into college, tear up the acceptance letter in front of his mother, and then jump off the building to commit suicide in front of his mother.

Teacher Wang Shuang said that a child who was admitted to Peking University really did this, not a threat.

Adolescent children are particularly terrible little monsters, in a breath, they will be reckless, give up the future, will self-harm a thousand, hurt the enemy eight hundred, sacrifice their studies, future, health, and even life, let parents hurt, let parents cry. Therefore, if you can't afford it, parents should take a detour as soon as possible, and don't be your children.

Behind the child's behavior are reasonable requirements.

It is an instinct for parents to love their children, so where does this instinct come from? In fact, this instinct comes from the parents' original family, so is the love of the original family complete? What capacity for love develops in marriage and family? Is this kind of love something a child loves?

Love is deeply understood and accepted, and love is as he is, not as I wish.

Love, coddling, unconditional love? Will love be wrong and raise the child to waste?

The child wants an apple, but the parent gives a cart of pears. Parents wait for the child to say thank you, and the child waits for the parent to say sorry. How many families suffer and tragedy as a result.

Be a person who fills up a bucket. When you fill someone else's bucket, you fill your own bucket.

Give someone a rose, and the hand has a lingering fragrance. Those who love to go out love to return, and those who are blessed to come are blessed.

Every child pursues a sense of belonging and value throughout their lives.

Love can give children a sense of belonging, and gratitude can give children a sense of value.

Is satisfying a child's material needs unconditional love? Satisfying material needs is only part of love, not all. Spiritual response and support are more important. The most relaxed companionship of parents, the communication of hearts, and the guidance of the spirit are more important. Homes of material poverty can also raise children who are spiritually rich.

To respond is to respond, not to agree, not to turn a blind eye. When it was within the economic conditions, it was agreed to him with pleasure. Otherwise, it is mildly rejected.

Will the child confide in you? Are your children willing to listen to your advice? Will your child be willing to spend time with you? If the answer is yes, it means that your love is what the child needs and is correct.

Love is a willingness to improve oneself in order to promote the intellectual maturity of the self and others. It is a process of improvement aimed at promoting mental maturity.

Emotions can flow, to describe the child's emotions, to see, to heal, to see is to heal.

How do you get emotions to flow? Parents see, accept, and allow children to vent emotionally. This is more important than parents giving advice and cheering, because it will make children more self-blamed and irritable.

Grades are equal to potential to reduce internal friction, every child has unlimited potential, if the family relationship, parent-child relationship is harmonious, then the child's potential can be better played. Otherwise, the child is powerless and will have serious internal friction.

Many parents stop hitting their children simply because they can't beat their children. When children can look up to and look down on their parents, the power struggle becomes increasingly fierce. In this war, there will be no real winners.

Emotions are fluid, opinions are fluid. Give the child space, the child will introspect.

There is no need to look for love, just to dissolve the obstacles of love.

Zero to six years old is a critical period for building a sense of security. A stable circle of circulation, parents tell their children with actions, parents have always been there, parents will always love you. Children will not have a psychological sense of lack and loss, they will have a full sense of security and strength, and they will be able to better resist the wind and rain of the outside world.

Many parents are superstitious about "frustration education" and will artificially create difficulties to train their children. In fact, there is no need to deliberately embarrass the child, because life itself has many difficulties, and it is enough for the child to face it in the original way of life. Resistance to frustration is not exercised, it is an internal strength, and it is the inner strength that makes children feel a lot of happiness, happiness, being loved, being accompanied, being tolerated, being encouraged, and being recognized.

Parents should create a family relationship that can provide love and nourishment through personal growth, and a warm harbor that can provide children with a sense of belonging and value.

Waiting for the flowers to blossom is to respect the child's growth rhythm, does not mean that parents do not act, does not mean that it is a helpless compromise and abandonment. It represents a lot of wisdom and effort of parents.

The premise of letting go is to rest assured, is to believe in the child, believe that the child has the nature to pursue excellence, will not easily live up to the expectations of parents, teachers, their own expectations, they themselves are very eager to become better. It was only because I couldn't do it that I gave up for the time being. Parents should give their children enough time and space, within a safe boundary, to allow children to try and try and make mistakes, to sum up life experience. Do not suppress and control the child, do not squeeze the child's living space, do not arrange the child's life.

Can parents arrange their children's lives and arrange their children's happiness?

Parents should be bold and give their children more opportunities to let him control his life.

Love and respect, kindness and firmness, let love flow, let children build a sense of value and belonging, let children get better and better.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs clearly tells us why the medical graduate student, who had no worries about food and clothing and a promising future, ended his life in an extremely tragic way with the expertise he had learned. Parents should think hard, learn, and understand. Because of understanding, we can be compassionate.