Originality, depth, style
Talking about marriage at the appropriate age stage is a stage of life that everyone is insurmountable, along with the young age of the marriage market, the concept of mate selection of the younger generation is also quietly changing, and the once "car, house and money" high-quality men, along with women's independent life and continuous improvement of economic income, seems to have changed from time to time, no longer becoming a hard indicator when dating.
Correspondingly, in the newly released blacklist of female blind dates, the new "three no men" ranked first, reflecting women's pursuit of marriage more on connotation and conduct.
In the blind date market, the problem that cannot be bypassed is often the economic foundation. Men will always complain that women are too materialistic, only money in their eyes, so that in the process of blind dates, they often feel that women's requirements are too high, but in fact, when women do not look at money, it is likely to be more demanding.
Because when they don't look at money, they have to look at other conditions, money can be obtained by their own efforts and parental support, but other things cannot be achieved in a short period of time. In our current society, where both material and cultural levels have been greatly improved, women's flaunted ideological and economic independence has been realized.
Therefore, just having a car and a house and having money can no longer meet their expectations for the other half. "I'd rather cry in a BMW than sit on a bike and laugh." This once popular Internet phrase has also been abandoned by modern women, compared to the superior material basis, they pay more attention to whether the other party is a new type of "three no men", let's see what kind of characteristics the "three no men" have.
First, do not respect women
Women crave true love, tolerance and pampering, but in many families and marriages, even basic respect is rare, and if a man does not respect you and does not treat you as an equal individual with him, then no matter how many sweet words he says, your married life will still be full of embarrassment, helplessness and despair.
Respected by the person he loves, this is the basis of feelings, if a man shows disrespect for you in the early days of acquaintance, then in his eyes may see love as very casual, he thinks that the girlfriend is an indispensable existence for him, and naturally will not try to maintain this relationship seriously.
Some men, even in the single period, often talk about the rights and wrongs of girls behind their backs, and judge the appearance of girls, which will make her feel insulted from a woman's point of view. In addition, the disrespect for women is also reflected in the use of unfamiliar women, and this deep-rooted color of inequality between men and women will undoubtedly be the last straw that will cause marriage to fall apart.
If a man respects women from the bottom of his heart and becomes a married couple with such a man, even if the passion of life fades in the end, the two no longer have a heart-warming feeling for each other, but because this man respects you, he will also assume the responsibility of being a husband and father.
Because of the innate difference in gender, men will have some self-confidence in the body, especially in front of women, with a large body and strong kong wu, it is even more difficult to suppress self-confidence. However, such self-righteousness also makes it easy for men to have an arrogant mentality, so that men have a psychology of disrespecting women, and machismo is fully displayed.
Second, lack of responsibility
Although in today's society, the status of women is gradually improving, women are becoming more and more independent, and in some families, it is no longer uncommon for women to be the main source of income in the family, it is undeniable that in the current employment environment, it is more common for men to bear most of the economic responsibilities in the family.
A man who has a sense of responsibility for his partner and family will take care of both inside and outside, balance family and career, take care of the old and young internally, love his wife, and run for life externally, both for the family and for his own responsibility.
But on the other hand, a man who lacks a sense of responsibility, it is difficult to say that they will have any big difference, because once a man lacks a sense of responsibility, it is difficult to have a stable guarantee for the life of the family, and it is impossible to guarantee the life of the family, and naturally there is no ability to take care of other people's feelings.
I believe that many women around me, in the marriage to pursue is not the desire for wealth, live an extravagant and lavish life, but from beginning to end need a stable, it can also be seen that a man can be poor, but absolutely can not be without responsibility and responsibility. In the family ethics drama "All Is Good", the protagonist Su Mingyu's eldest brother Su Mingzhe is such a person, when he is unemployed and the family has no money, he forces his wife to take money to buy a house for his father, never considers the situation of his family, and sacrifices his wife's happiness to dedicate the so-called "foolish filial piety".
He always flaunted himself with the top pillar of the family and the boss of the Su family, but his sister had been wandering outside for ten years, and he did not pay attention to it. Such a man, in the family, never realizes that he is a father and a husband, he is not only external, but also has no ambition in his career, and he has no sense of responsibility internally and in the family. Although in the TV series, the ending is still going to a reunion, in real life, marrying such a man often does not have any good results.
Third, the ability to control emotions is poor
Men with poor emotional control are also shunned by women in the marriage market. On the one hand, the difficulty of controlling one's emotions represents that the person is incompetent, irritable, has a small mindset, and is at risk with such a man. On the other hand, men with poor emotional ability basically have no future, they are easily impulsive and like to yell, but in essence because of fear and lack of confidence.
When you fall in love or marry a man who lacks emotional control, you have to worry all the time about whether he will clash with people who are also emotionally depressed, and whether he will be maimed, injured, or even killed under impulse. What is more worrying is whether one day, the object of his injury will be pointed at you. To see if a person can control his emotions well, it depends on when he deals with contradictions and when he is emotional. Look at how he treats the people closest to him, what kind of temper he treats his family.
If he still can't hold back his temper when he treats his family and the people closest to him, then it is better for such a man to stay away as soon as possible. A good man, after the emotions come up, first cool down the emotions, exchange the violent language for gentleness, and relax the emotions freely, which is the standard that a good man should have.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Good luck coming
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：K. M. R. Rosenzweig. Translated by Zhang Houcan. Handbook of international psychology. Shanghai: East China Normal University Press, 2002