1
The visitor, Ms. Lui, was very upset that her high school daughter Xiaomei would not talk to her.
She said her 16-year-old daughter smiled at her relatives and friends, but her attitude toward her parents was always straight, shutting herself in her room as soon as she got home.
To do this, she smashed several of her daughter's door locks.
"My daughter hasn't spoken to me in a year." Ms. Lu said with tears on her face.
According to Ms. Lu, a year ago, she found that under her daughter's pillow, there were love letters written by male classmates.
After reading it, he was very angry, so he took a picture of the love letter and sent it to the class teacher, asking the class teacher to talk to the male classmate and ask him not to affect his daughter.
After the class teacher finished talking with the male classmates, the male classmates really stopped interacting with Ms. Lu's daughter and informed their roommates about this matter.
The housemates were upset about it, so they passed on ten to ten hundred, and the male and female classmates in the class all had opinions about Xiaomei.
Since then, Xiaomei has not said a word to Ms. Lu, either sneering or cold. Ms. Lui tried all kinds of methods and failed.
The attitude of her daughter made Ms. Lu heartbroken.
In fact, many adolescent children like Ms. Lu's daughter, due to their parents interfering too much in their children's life, learning, and dating, the way of handling is too simple and rude, and they do not respect the child, resulting in children distrusting and confrontation with their parents.
In addition, after the fact, parents did not realize their own problems, simply attributed to "the child does not understand the good of the parents" and "the child has entered a rebellious period", which makes the child disappointed in the parents, and then closes the door of the heart.
2
Xiao Lei, who was in the second year of junior high school, not only did not want to talk to his mother, but even when he saw his mother's face, his heart was inexplicably depressed.
Xiao Lei's family, belongs to the "widowed parenting", the father is out for a long time, the mother is alone with the baby, from childhood to Xiao Lei to take extra care of, not afraid of him thin, or afraid that he is bullied by children, resulting in Xiao Lei's weak independent self-care ability, interpersonal skills damaged.
Junior high school was supposed to be accommodation, but went for a week, couldn't adapt, and had to go home.
After returning home, my mother was more caring and greeted warmly.
But the more his mother was like this, the more annoyed Xiao Lei felt, the more he didn't want to see his mother, and he didn't want to talk to his mother.
He couldn't say what was wrong with him, that is, when he saw his mother's concerned face and heard his mother's worried voice, he was very annoyed and depressed, and he just wanted to close the door, go to the game, let himself be clean, and feel better.
In fact, parents have always treated their children as children, as "appendages" rather than independent individuals, excessive love, squeezing the child's free and independent development space, resulting in children's self, social skills, emotional regulation ability is blocked.
When the child grows up, he finds that he can't do it, he will be very frustrated, and it is easy to return home.
At this time, the mother feels that she should love and pay more attention to the child.
And these loves and excessive care make the child's own space smaller.
This makes the child very depressed, wanting to push away the parents and give themselves more space.
3
Xiao Meng, who is in the third year of junior high school, only wants to lie down, sleep, brush his mobile phone every day, does not want to eat, does not want to do anything, and does not want to talk to his parents.
When he was lying down, his mother would say: You only know how to play with your mobile phone every day, eat and sleep, eat and eat.
When he couldn't sleep at night, his mother said: You just play with your mobile phone day after day, day and night upside down.
When he brushes his mobile phone, his mother will definitely say: Holding the mobile phone every day, the mobile phone is your life.
When he doesn't want to eat, his mother will say: Holding the mobile phone every day, the mobile phone can be eaten as a meal, right!
When he picked up the book, his mother sneered: you will pretend every day, why don't you play with your mobile phone.
When he can't bear to lose his temper with his mother, his mother will definitely say again: playing with mobile phones every day, growing up, and talking back to his parents.
Finally, when he was so angry that he threw his mother out of the room and locked the door, his mother was heartbroken and felt that Xiaolei was addicted to the Internet.
Sometimes, drowsiness, weakness, decreased interest, insomnia, social avoidance, etc. in adolescent children may be manifestations of depression.
When parents do not realize that their children are emotionally disturbed, they still force their children according to the standards of normal children, accusing, criticizing, humiliating, and mocking their children.
This can make the child feel understood, grooved, more depressed, and more avoidant of communication with parents.
Psychological experts believe that "children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, the key is not to establish a harmonious relationship with their parents." ”
Some parents think that they love their children, protect their children, and educate their children, so that children cannot feel understood, respected, and trusted, resulting in antagonistic emotions between the two generations.
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