Xiao Yao, 28 years old, met her current boyfriend on a blind date, and the two of them have been together for almost half a year. She said the boyfriend was nice to her and couldn't fault anything, but always felt like he didn't love himself. It turns out that Xiao Yao's boyfriend always mentions his ex from time to time, whether it is going out to eat, watching movies, shopping, he will talk about his ex's preferences and some details of their relationship. Although he did not say that he still liked his ex, it made Xiao Yao particularly unhappy, feeling that his ex-girlfriend was like a shadow between them. She had consciously or unconsciously reminded him many times, but he still couldn't change it. Finally, Xiao Yao couldn't bear it and said to him, "Since you can't forget your ex-girlfriend, why do you still want to provoke me?" You'd better go find her anyway. "The two eventually broke up.
Exs, always an endless topic. For many people, it is like a thorn stuck in the throat that wants to spit out but can't spit it out, others can't see whether it exists, only you know it, you can't swallow it and can't spit it out. Although everyone says to be a good ex after breaking up, one is different and two wide, and they forget each other. But very few have really done it. It is said that there are a hundred Hamlets in a hundred hearts, but for their other half to "forget the ex", both men and women, nine times out of ten are more concerned. What kind of feeling it would be to know that your partner "can't forget your ex"? Their answer was to be expected.
Kevin Lee, male, 33 years old, married
I am deeply touched by the fact that "the other half can't forget the ex". When I was 28 years old, I got along with my junior high school classmates, she was divorced and childless, I liked her very much, I didn't mind her divorce, but I thought that she had experienced an unhappy marriage and would definitely cherish me, and I thought I could warm her.
Unexpectedly, she has not been able to forget her ex-husband, still keep a lot of things that the two of them originally had, and often talk to me about him, sometimes resentment, sometimes nostalgia, when they were good, they would shed tears. Seriously, every time I listened to her talk about that, I felt very bad in my heart. Sometimes, I feel like she might just think of herself as someone to talk to, and to me, she has no love. Sometimes, I feel that she is like Xianglin Sister-in-law, both pitiful and annoying. In the end, I chose to break up with her, and I didn't want to live in her ex-husband's shadow.
Now it seems that if a woman has been in love for six or seven years or has experienced four or five years of marriage, it is difficult for her to completely let go of that relationship. Men should not be self-righteous in thinking that they can save her with love, so I use my identity as a person to warn everyone: do not try to love a woman who "can't forget her ex", and don't be a magnanimous saint, too tired.
Big fat, male, 28 years old, in love
My current girlfriend, two years older than me, has been together for more than a year, has met both parents, originally planned to get married on May Day this year, and recently because she "can't forget her ex" is upset about it. In fact, I already knew that before me, she had a relationship with a green plum bamboo horse, and the two people were almost going to get married, and then it seemed that because of the man's family, the two people had to break up.
When I met her, she had just broken up for two months, and probably hadn't come out of the shadow of lost love, she seemed to have some melancholy temperament, not much to say, just the type I liked. I chased after it for more than a month and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. She simply told me about her affair, saying that since she accepted me, she would let him go completely. She said she would never mention her ex-boyfriend in the future and asked me not to mention it in the future.
I don't really care that she has an ex-boyfriend, but I don't mind if she can't forget him. By an inadvertent chance, I heard her talking to her girlfriend on the phone, talking all about her and her ex-boyfriend, saying that she didn't seem to forget her ex-boyfriend, and the closer she got to marriage, the more she thought about him. She also said that if her ex-boyfriend came to her, she might run away from marriage or something. I was very angry at the time, but I also accepted her "just talking" explanation.
She was nice to me, but I was sometimes conflicted and didn't know if she was old enough to find someone to marry or if she really liked me. Also, the call she talked to her girlfriend made me feel that she had actually been carrying her ex-boyfriend inside, which was particularly awkward when I thought about it. Seriously, I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to marry her.
Shanshan, female, 31 years old, preparing for divorce
I am the first marriage, my husband is the second marriage, at the beginning I did not dislike him divorce and a child, insisted on marrying him, the main feeling is that he is a particularly responsible and tolerant man, he is because of the ex-wife cheated on the marriage, but he did not say half a bad word to me about the ex-wife, the responsibility for divorce is on himself. Seriously, I was particularly distressed by him at the time, thinking that I must love him well.
After we got married, I really realized how difficult it was to get a man who "couldn't forget his ex-wife" to really fall in love. His ex-wife also broke up with the affair soon after the divorce, has always been alone with the child, she often looks for my husband on the grounds of the child, at first, he only went to see the children to help, and later developed to spend the night with his ex-wife. He told me they were innocent and nothing happened. Of course, I didn't believe it, and for this reason, we quarreled countless times, but he didn't change his ways, and he said that he wouldn't leave his ex-wife and children alone. I've really had enough and have filed for divorce now.
I think that people who have come here will personally advise everyone: don't be with people who "can't forget their predecessors", otherwise, they will regret it for the rest of their lives.
Ame, female, 26 years old, in love
I especially regret starting that relationship, and I especially hate myself for being too stupid and naïve, not wanting to talk too much, never waking up a lion pretending to be asleep, and not expecting true love from a person who can't let go of an ex.
I love him very much, and when I know that he is still in contact with my ex, the discomfort is vaguely painful, it is like sitting on a needle felt, and I especially want to lose my temper. He explained to me that they were now regular friends and were in normal interactions. Although I expressed understanding and forgiveness, my emotions were crushed to pieces by grievances. While he praised me as a generous woman, he was even more brazen in keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend, and even secretly went out on a date several times. I cried and begged him to break off contact with her, but he told me he couldn't do it.
We talked awkwardly like this for more than a year, and in the end, he proposed to break up, on the grounds that he couldn't forget his ex-girlfriend and didn't want to hurt me again. Others say he's scum, but I don't think it's true, I do like him, but unfortunately, he doesn't like me. However, if I fall in love later, I will definitely understand the other person's feelings for the ex, of course, it is best that he does not have an ex. It's just that in these years, men without exes are unattainable.
In fact, whether men or women, the feeling of being with people who "can't forget their ex" is awkward, aggrieved and depressed, and it is difficult to feel the sweetness of love. And those who are obsessed with the ex are not necessarily deeply in love with the ex, but more are "unwilling to love but can't help it", "betrayed unconvinced", "frustrated that they can't pay back", these negative emotions directly affect the progress of new feelings. Starting another new relationship without really letting go of one relationship is irresponsible for the new relationship and irresponsible for oneself.