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"Hold Your Right Hand": "I don't believe in fate, I only believe in my hand." I don't believe in the lines of the palms, but I believe in the power of the palms plus the fingers. ”
It doesn't matter whether we believe in fate or not, what matters is that we can't leave our lives in the hands of "others." Whether the "other" is a real person or a virtual illusion, he can't live in your place, and he can't give you all the good fortune for no reason.
Don't expect anyone to do what you can do on your own. Even if you want to count on others and want to get help from others, you must also establish the premise of "you deserve help from others", be a good person, do things seriously, and make people trustworthy, otherwise why should others help you?
People who do not understand these truths sometimes seem particularly hateful and incomprehensible. Using calculative ways to order others to help, being rejected and still angry and ashamed, why? When you meet a good bully, your calculation may succeed; but when you meet a bad bully, you will only lift a stone and drop it on your own feet.
The contest between the woman and her in-laws' family below is about the above kind of problem, let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Sometimes good people can't blindly be good people, they should learn to be "bad", treat bad people in the way of bad people, and let them often be calculated, so that they dare not provoke you.
This method can also be used in marriage, for example, when your in-laws bully you, you should treat them the way they are, otherwise you will compromise once, and there will be countless times.
For example, when my sister-in-law got married, my mother-in-law actually asked me to prepare for the dowry, saying that the eldest sister-in-law is like a mother, and it is my obligation to marry my sister-in-law with beautiful scenery.
I went to her obligation, she married her daughter, how did it become my obligation? I can wrap red envelopes for her out of "affection", but I don't give her the "duty" to prepare for the dowry.
After my mother-in-law was rejected by me, she sent her sister-in-law to personally calculate me: "I am short of money to buy a marriage house, give me 200,000 yuan?" ”
I said to her, "Poor crazy don't look for me, I'm just your sister-in-law, not your mother, I have no obligation to sacrifice my life to make your life perfect!" ”
Then the two of them joined hands to blackmail me, saying that if I didn't do what they asked, everyone would read my jokes, everyone would say I didn't understand things, and everyone would point at my nose and scold.
I had to let them taste the taste of being blackmailed: "If you have the ability, you will make trouble, and it is better to make trouble!" It's a big deal to tear your face and divorce, and see who is the last person to lose! I can even get a divorce now, I have nothing to fear anyway! ”
They were instigated and did not dare to be arrogant in front of me, including my husband who had also relented a lot after that and was better for me than before.
It was a windfall for me, and my worst-case scenario wasn't to blackmail my husband into being better for me, but that I was really fearless. The in-laws obviously didn't have the courage of me, so they fought with me and couldn't win!
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
If her in-laws are particularly kind to her, and do not mention unreasonable demands, the sister-in-law is getting married, without reminding her, she will also wrap a big red envelope. Because for normal people, being treated well by others, if they don't return something, they can't live in their conscience.
She happily gave the red envelope, the in-laws happily accepted, and the two sides continued to treat each other kindly, is this kind relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law better than falling out?
Compared with the practices of her in-laws' family, it is obvious that she deviates from this virtuous circle too much, showing that her mother-in-law and sister-in-law are very brainless, especially selfish, and only care about the immediate self-interest, regardless of the long-term pros and cons.
The two of them are the kind of people we mentioned earlier, ordering others to help in a calculating way, and when they are rejected, they are ashamed and angry. Unfortunately, the person they think they can calculate success is not a good bully, and then they act smart to blackmail each other and sit firmly in the end of "lifting a stone and dropping it on their own feet".
For the woman who creates happiness only with her own hands, when she meets the kind of person who has a calculating heart, you can't be polite to them. There is nothing to be afraid of, anyway, you have your own ability, you can prepare for the worst in case of any problem, and doing so will make good luck uninvited.