I remember that when the three-child policy was liberalized, several of our second-child mothers discussed under what circumstances everyone would consider three-child.
The result of the discussion is that the three-child life may be beautiful, but our strength does not allow it.
We agree that if you want to have three children, if you can't meet the following conditions, you have to think twice:
First of all, the economic conditions must be passable.
It's not that you have to save enough money, or how strong the financial resources are, but the cost of childcare is getting higher and higher, and parents can at least provide similar conditions for their children.
Whether it is the child's food, clothing, shelter and transportation when he is a child, or the cost of education when he grows up, it is a big expense, and parents must be prepared.
The economic base determines the superstructure, and so does the raising of children.
Secondly, Bao Dad should be reliable.
In addition to earning money to support the family, Bao Dad should be able to take the handle on the baby.
How tiring it is to raise children, who knows who has experienced it. We have a few second-born mothers, raising two children has exhausted their strength, if there is another third child, Bao Dad still has nothing to do, do not know how to help, it is estimated that it will collapse.
Again, have an elderly person around to help, or hire a babysitter/part-time worker.
In three-child families, if no one takes care of the children, most mothers will concentrate on taking care of the children.
Even so, when the Three Treasures were young, Bao Mama was also lacking in skills.
Ideally, having an elderly person in the family to help can relieve a lot of pressure on the small family.
Alternatively, asking a babysitter or part-time worker to help is also one way.
At the end of the discussion, we agreed that the second child has exhausted us, and the third child, dare not think, not to mention that neither economic conditions nor our own physical state allow us to be willful.
However, this is only the idea of a few of us, and not all moms in life think the same way as us.
There is a treasure mother, I call her cow cow mother, before giving birth to the three treasures, she has children and daughters, the big treasure is a sister, reading the second grade, the second treasure is the little brother, reading the kindergarten middle class, the three treasures are a little brother.
After giving birth to the Three Treasures, although the cow and cow mother was a little tired, she was also happy for half a year. Although she and her husband are a long-distance couple, Papa can only come back for the weekend every week or every two weeks.
In addition to taking care of the children, the mother cow also runs her own small shop - a small shop in the community, selling snacks, toys and so on.
In her own words, making money is secondary, mainly to keep yourself busy, not to think about things and be depressed. Once because of a person with a baby, she was in a very bad mood.
Knowing that she was pregnant with her third child, many people did not understand, including me.
She already has children and daughters, and she has three children, is she not tired? Not to mention that her husband is out of town, and there are no old people around her to help. She herself had said that raising two children, she was already very tired.
But she also said that the child came as fate and could not bear to abandon it.
Thus, the Sanbao cow was born.
Grandma was distressed about her daughter and rushed from her hometown to take care of her daughter's family.
So in the first six months, Bao Ma's life was OK. Grandma paid a lot, picked up the second treasure, took care of the little treasure, and washed and cooked for the whole family.
In that half year, although Bao Mom was a little tired, she didn't feel how different her life was from before.
Half a year later, Grandma returned to her hometown, and at this time, the life of Niu Niu's mother was chaotic.
In the morning, when she opened her eyes, Niu Niu's mother had to quickly pack herself up and make some breakfast for Dabao (a girl who was in the third year of junior high school), usually making it up, for which Dabao was often dissatisfied.
It is a difficult task to get the second treasure up, and the cow and cow mother must always pay attention to the three treasures. She had to wake up Sanbao, clean up for him a little, and then the mother and son would go to the kindergarten together.
No one took Erbao to kindergarten, she had to do it herself. However, the weather in early spring was still cold after all, and several times I took the three treasures to send the second treasure and blew the three treasures cold.
As soon as the child fell ill, the cow and cow mother became more anxious.
After sending Erbao to the kindergarten, Niu Niu's mother was temporarily relieved. When she returned home, she made some food for herself to eat, and the complementary food she made for Sanbao was also OK many times.
She couldn't take care of the dirty points at home, as long as she could see it, she didn't care.
At about ten o'clock, Niu Niu's mother took Sanbao to the store and worked for a while.
Although the business of the small shop is not very busy, mainly concentrated in the time when the children go to school and school, they can be busy, and the cow and cow mother are also busy with their feet, and many times they can't take care of the three treasures, or simply hold the three treasures and are busy.
There is also a group buying business in the store, which is a trivial and small business that does not make much money, but it is better than nothing, and niu Niu Ma is considering whether to cut this business.
The two children are in the critical period of learning, Dabao should take the middle school exam, Erbao should be in the first grade, and Niu Niu Mama does not have the time and energy to take care of their learning.
We felt sorry for her and advised her to ask someone to help, either to ask someone to look at the store, or to ask the nanny to take care of the three treasures, or to ask the part-time worker to cook and clean up the housework, and she could also relax a lot.
But niu niu mother has her own considerations, the small shop itself is not very profitable, if you ask people, the salary is estimated to be given to others.
But if she closes the store directly, she is reluctant to open it for more than two years, the small shop has not been able to improve, if you close it, and then reopen it in the future, she does not know if she will have the courage at that time.
In fact, the economic conditions of niu niu's family are still good, but only relying on her husband to work alone, it should still be a little stressful, so Niu Niu's mother thinks about work, which can reduce the burden and keep herself busy, so as not to be depressed.
It's just that she ignores that a person has to take care of three children and open a shop, which is not an easy task, and it has already made her physically and mentally exhausted.
Busyness makes her depressed, exhaustion annoys her, especially when Sambo is sick, she will lose her temper with her husband on the phone, and will complain about why her in-laws can't help her when she is most helpless.
Fortunately, Niu Niu's mother told a parent of Erbao that she would let the family help pick up and drop off the children sooner or later, and when the store was busy, or when Sanbao was uncomfortable, she would also ask for help from a bao mother upstairs.
Even so, she was busy and tired.
We still advise her from time to time, ask someone to help, and wait until Sanbao grows up.
She smiled and said let's talk.
Occasionally, she laughed at herself, saying that she had been too naïve before, and said that if she could start again, she would carefully consider the matter of the third child.
Such a three-child life, in addition to a chicken feather, is there happiness to speak of? If it were you, would you choose a triple child?