A mother with a daughter told me, "Never have a daughter again." Originally, I thought that she was more patriarchal, but after listening to her story, I understood the real reason why she would rather have a son than a daughter.
When this mother first became pregnant, she always wanted a daughter, because she heard that the girl was a "little cotton jacket" and the son was a "leather jacket", and the little girl was more well-behaved and cute, but the little boy was often very naughty.
And after giving birth, this mother also gave birth to a daughter as she wished, and when the daughter was born, don't mention how happy she was.
And in the following period of time, Bao Mom has always taken great care of her daughter, and in the process of her daughter's slow growth, Bao Mom has indeed felt the warmth of her daughter. However, when the child began to go to kindergarten, the mother became more worried.
Because the daughter's personality is relatively quiet, when she was bullied by the little boys in the kindergarten, the daughter did not know how to protect herself, which also made bao mom worry for several years.
It is not easy to get to the time when the child officially goes to school, the mother feels that the child is older, there are fewer children who do not understand things, and her daughter should not be bullied.
However, when the daughter officially went to school, Bao Mom inadvertently found that the child would secretly use her own cosmetics, and gradually cared about her own posture, appearance and other issues, Bao Mom began to worry about it again, worried that her daughter would make "bad friends" and prematurely produce some hobbies that should not be there.
Later, when the daughter reaches adolescence, bao mom is more worried, after all, the children at this stage are both ignorant and ignorant, unable to correctly recognize some emotional problems, and are likely to have impulses, etc., this worry makes bao mom difficult to be peaceful all day and all night.
It can be said that the mother's attitude towards the birth of a daughter has completely changed, because the daughter is simply too worrying, although the daughter is not as noisy as the boy, but it has a worry that makes it difficult for parents to let go.
The reason why most mothers are reluctant to have daughters is not patriarchal preference, but these
The daughter is weak, introverted, and vulnerable to bullying
Just like the above mother worried, families with daughters, parents are most worried about the rights and interests of their children.
Because girls are physically weaker than boys, and the personality of girls in general is more introverted, when they suffer some unfair treatment or bullying, they often do not know how to protect their rights and interests, and sometimes they are even unwilling to tell parents or teachers that they suffer silently.
This trait of the daughter makes parents most worried, after all, if the child is bullied by others for a long time, then it is not good for the daughter's psychological and physical growth.
Daughters are a vulnerable group.
Girls are also typical of vulnerable groups because of their own characteristics, so girls will encounter more setbacks and dangers than boys in the process of growing up.
For example, girls are more likely to stimulate the covetousness of criminals, girls are more likely to be physically abused during adolescence, girls may become the target of domestic violence after marriage, and daughters may encounter unfair treatment from their mothers-in-law after they become a family.
Even walking on the street, you may frequently encounter incidents such as "salty pig hands".
Therefore, parents are very worried about what accidents their daughters have in the process of growing up, and often such accidents may affect their daughters' lives.
The daughter will eventually get married.
When the daughter grows up, she is destined to marry a woman. Although the idea of son preference has been diluted, traditions such as the father's surname of children have not changed.
Therefore, secretly there is still a common concept of "the water spilled by the daughter who marries out", and people generally believe that after marrying a woman, they are the husband's family, and their own family becomes the mother's family, and the in-laws' family is their own home.
It is also based on this reason that many parents feel that raising their daughter is "empty at the end", their hearts are full of loneliness, they are very worried about the day when their daughter gets married, and they feel that the arrival of that moment is the moment when they lose their daughter forever.
Therefore, the parents' hearts are very entangled, not only want their daughters to have a happy family, but they are still reluctant to give up their daughters, which is also one of the important reasons why many mothers are reluctant to have daughters.
However, Bao Mama may not have thought that even if she gave birth to a son, she would have an inexhaustible heart
Boys are generally more lively, and the lively personality will also increase the risk factor of the son, such as falling, falling, colliding, etc.
Therefore, raising a son may not necessarily worry about it, but families with sons will be more envious of families with daughters, because daughters are more stable and quiet, and children may face many fewer dangers.
Although boys seem to be "strong", in fact, the development of boys when they are young is lagging behind that of girls of the same age, and boys will be more naïve than girls, and this situation will also make parents more worried. Because boys are immature in their thinking, it means that boys are more vulnerable to being abducted by criminals.
After the son grows up, he wants to marry and have children, and this is the time for parents to have headaches, because the children need houses, cars, tickets to get married, and many families take out their life savings in order to let their children get married smoothly, which also causes a large financial burden to the family.
In addition, boys' competitiveness is generally relatively strong, which is also one of the most headaches for parents, because this kind of competitiveness can not only make children grow more actively, but also may make children often have behavioral or verbal impulses, such as fighting, etc., winning the loss of other people's money, losing money to the hospital, anyway, it is not good.
epilogue
Therefore, whether it is to have a son or a daughter, in fact, it is necessary to worry, and this worry does not originate from the child, but from the parent's responsible attitude towards the child, the more responsible you are, the more you may think that raising the child is more worried.
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