What can nurture and fulfill each other's good intentions and good deeds is true love!

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The second criterion for distinguishing between good and evil is the impact, that is, the impact on the future.

If this matter is harmful to oneself and others in the future, even if it seems to be good on the spot, it is also evil; if this matter is of great benefit to oneself and others in the future, even if there are many people on the spot who do not agree, it is also good.

Story: Confucius Comments on The Good

Confucius had two students, one named Zigong and one called Zilu. Zigong was a big businessman and often went to other countries to do business. At that time, the State of Lu had a rule: As long as you find that we Lu people have been sold to other countries as slaves, you can spend money to redeem your compatriots, and the state will return the same ransom to you. Is this a good rule? It is quite good to encourage and motivate the people to love and protect their compatriots and brothers. Zigong just ransomed the man back, the government wanted to give him money, he said, no, did not take.

Everyone said, did Zigong do a good deed?

When the news spread, everyone praised Zigong for doing a good job. When this matter reached Confucius's ears, he criticized Zigong and said: It is inappropriate for you to do this. Why does the master's view differ from that of the general people? The master analyzed to the zigong, we Lu people, the poor accounted for the majority, the rich accounted for a very small minority. If you redeem people today and don't take money, then the poor people go to other countries to see their compatriots, will they redeem or not redeem? When he saves people, he will have concerns and hesitations. Thinking that no one pays money, if I redeem it and take the money, it seems that I will be shorter than you; but I don't take the money, and my life is worrying. If one in a hundred people does not redeem himself because of hesitation, behind that person may be another family, he may have children and wives. Because one person is not redeemed, we have a fault! Therefore, the master said to Zigong: If you do this, there will be abuses, and there will be bad influences in the future, and there may be people who cannot return to their motherland because of this.

Zilu was just walking on the road one day when he encountered a man who fell into the water and was about to drown. Zilu was very righteous and immediately reached out to help him save him. This man was so grateful to Zilu that he was so happy that he gave his cow to Zilu. Zilu was also very happy and led the cow away.

Everyone said, is it okay for Zilu to do this?

Ordinary people think that it is not good for Zilu to do this. But when Confucius saw Zilu, he said to Zilu: You are right to do this, and in the future, more people will go to great lengths to save others when they see others in danger, because they will all experience that good is rewarded.

Therefore, it is not that there are good intentions to do good things, and there are many good intentions to do bad things; nor are the ideas and concepts that many people agree with must be right, the truth is often in the hands of a small number of people, and it is not that the best-selling books must be good books, nor the programs with higher ratings must be good programs, nor are they necessarily popular. The key is to see how this matter affects the future, and whether there are many benefits to oneself and others in the future.

Therefore, to see problems and do things, we must stand tall and see far, do not be short-sighted and short-sighted, stand high, overlook the mountains and small, the heart will be wide; see far, quiet and far-reaching, the mind will be right.

In short, to be able to judge good and evil and right and wrong, we must study the Disciple Rules well.

What is love? What is harm?

I often hear parents say that I love my child so much and treat him so well, why can't he feel it? Still resisting and rebelling? In fact, you don't understand love. What is true love?

The first look is the intention.

The heart is selfless, single-mindedly for the good of the other party, and does not ask for anything in return, it is love. Just as where our left hand itches and hurts, the right hand quickly touches it, without any strings attached. If you are good to someone, you have a plan, and you want to return it, this love is biased, because there is selfishness in it.

For example, parents and elders compare their children with others; they force their children to enter prestigious schools regardless of their children's actual situation; and they force their children to make up a lot of classes regardless of their children's objections. There was once a child who cried out to his mother: "You say you love me, everything is for me, in fact, you are for yourself." "We don't blame children for not understanding their parents, it is true that we have parents who have problems with their intentions. He loves his face even more, and loving his children has become a disguise. For example, good for the leader, I hope that the future leader will promote me; good for the girlfriend, I hope that she will marry me in the future, like this hope that others will reciprocate before going to love is not true love, that is called trading, called trading.

Second look at the impact.

What can bring great warmth to each other is love. If it brings pain, sadness, fear, or even hatred to the other person, it is not love, but harm.

If you put a lot of pressure on your child every day, it is very painful, or you are very disgusted, or even disgusted, it means that you are not really thinking about the child, and the love you give may not be true love, and you must immediately be alert and make self-adjustment. If you take self-righteous true love to educate and ask children, and keep nagging about how I love you, how do I do it for you, even a handful of snot and a handful of tears, please pay attention, this is never called "love", what is it called? Called "desire", it is to force the other party to obey, always want to possess the other party, control the other party's desire. Desire is not true love.

The same is true of the relationship between men and women, one of whom proposes to break up, and the other often appears to jump off a building, martyrdom, and self-harm to prove how much I love you. This is by no means love, it is "desire", and this "desire" is dressed up as "love" in beautiful and gorgeous clothes, and many unintelligent people tend to be deceived by it. This "desire" will only make the other party more miserable, and the result of this "desire" will often eventually lead to "hatred" and "tragedy". True love should be to let go, fulfill and bless her, to constantly pay attention to her and help her.

What can nurture and fulfill the good deeds of the other party is love. If it is to guide the other party to deviate, it is not love, but harm.

The child in her mother's arms accidentally hit her mother, and her mother still smiled lovingly, "Wow, baby, your hand is so strong." "May I ask, what does such a smile teach a child?" The child will feel that the original hit the mother, the mother will laugh, this judgment will be taught to him. Many parents will say, what does he know when he is very young? But let's experience a saying said by the ancients, "Three years old to see eighty", a child's correct ideological concepts, judgment, before he is three years old can be taught to him all, he is watching, all learning. The child accidentally hit us, and we even took his little hand and seriously told him that this was not right. Hit him twice on his small hand as a warning. At this time, the child knows that it is wrong to hit the mother, and he will not do it again next time. Now many people play with children, always do not teach a good tune.

Now many parents do not let the child do housework, think he does not do well, "do homework to go", think this is love, wrong, you give up the opportunity for the child to exercise ability; the child goes home to wash the feet of the parents, the parents do not let the washing, "this is not what you do", thinking that this is love, wrong, you broke a piece of filial piety of the child. Parents who really know how to love, although they can't bear it, although it takes time and effort, may often rework or even mess up, but also let the child do things, so that he can fully accept a variety of exercises. It is not that they are cruel, but that their hearts are full of true love. Just as a child makes a mistake and the parents punish the child, what kind of scene is it? "Hit the child's body, the pain is in the mother's heart." But you can't not fight.

"The beauty of a gentleman's adulthood, the evil of not being a man." Love children, we parents should reflect well, usually we give our children warmth or pain? Have you seized the opportunity to nurture and fulfill your child's kindness, good thoughts, and good deeds?

In a word, the parents who use the Disciple Rules to educate themselves and their children are full of true love.

- END -

The copyright of the article belongs to the author, and the views expressed in the article do not represent the publisher and are for reference only.

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