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01. Preface
When it comes to falling in love, men and women are like sitting on a seesaw, and it is interesting to have ups and downs. If there is always a person in the low place, a person on the top, then the game loses its original fun.
To manage love, there must be exchanges, tensions and relaxations, and interactions, in order to make love come alive.
If, just one side pleases and humbles into the dust, the other party will become unscrupulous, or become taken for granted, and love will be unbalanced or even broken.
Su Qian once said: "If you are not desperately good to a person, that person will love you desperately." ”
In love, excessive flattery will make the payment cheap. A woman desperately wants to be nice to a man, and her purpose is to make the man love her. But this approach is often counterproductive.
In fact, women, getting along with men a little "cold" is better than flattering.
02, love with a sense of space, attractive
When managing love, excessive enthusiasm, excessive dependence, and excessive too good will accelerate the loss of freshness.
The two people in "Please Give More Advice for the Rest of Your Life" were originally a couple like glue.
But the seal always gave Jinshi many rules, leaving him without a little personal space. Jinshi felt a lot of pressure, so he always lied and deceived The Seal and hid his whereabouts.
Once, when Yin xi was having dinner with his friends, he happened to bump into Jinshi and his friends at a party, and his lies were exposed. The two broke up because of this matter.
Intimacy can make two people feel happy and sweet. However, excessive intimacy can cause a feeling of suffocation between lovers.
Getting along with each other requires a sense of space. Even couples should have their own independent space and time, so that they can stay for a long time.
Women don't always use the "sticky" way to catch a man, because in the long run, the man has a feeling of being bound that will make him want to escape.
When running love, women appropriately give men freedom, let him have his own circle of friends, have his own hobbies, and can do some things he likes unscrupulously. Men will love her more.
Leave a sense of space for each other and make love better fresh. Because, there is a sense of space, and they will be more attractive to each other.
03, the right distance, will make love mysterious
No matter how much you love someone, learning to keep a sense of distance is what wise women do.
The right distance, properly "cold" a man, is easy to stimulate his curiosity.
In "The Biography of Zhen Huan", after Zhen Huan was framed, she was misunderstood by the emperor and snubbed, and she finally wanted to understand that instead of having an awkward fight with the emperor, it was better to compete for favors in order to have a chance to avenge herself.
So, she took the initiative to approach the emperor and successfully attracted the attention of the emperor.
However, Zhen Huan did not "hit the iron while it was hot", but "cold" the emperor.
Several times in a row, he refused the emperor's invitation, which made the emperor helpless and stimulated his fighting spirit. Perhaps, the more you can't get close, the more itchy you are.
After that, because Zhen Huan always kept a distance from him, he didn't want to go to anyone's palace, but only wanted to know how to stay in the little Broken Jade Xuan and stay by Zhen Huan's side.
When managing love, excessive flattery will make men feel that women's love is cheap.
No matter how much she loves a person, a woman does not have to be obedient to a person, and she does not have to maintain a warm posture at all times. Chilling at the right time and breaking the rhythm of love will make men spend more time and energy caring for women and managing love.
Maintaining a certain sense of "distance" will make love more mysterious, and men will be more attentive to women.
04, occasionally "cold" a man, love will heat up
As the saying goes, "Little is better than a new marriage.".
When running a love business, properly cooling men will make each other miss each other more.
The ordinary love of the past will also become turbulent because of the cooling. Men who did not express feelings in the past will also say sweeter words driven by thoughts when women snub him.
In the process of cold, you will experience a person's loneliness. When people are afraid of losing, they often understand the meaning of cherishing.
If a woman is too flattering and giving too much, it is impossible for men to experience the feeling of "loss". Instead, he will feel that the woman is dead set on him and therefore doesn't care so much about her.
If love is too "full", love will be difficult to heat up again.
On the contrary, after cooling down love, love can be better heated up.
Properly cool the man, he will be more aware of his own needs, grateful to the lover, will be more patient, and will be more tolerant of women.
Learn to cool down love, men will spend time to make love warm, will be more concerned about women.
05. Summary
Women, remember: it's better to be "cold" with men than to be flattering.
Li Bihua said: "If he loves you, he doesn't have to please you, and if he doesn't love, he doesn't have to." ”
Good love needs to have a sense of space, a sense of distance, and more importantly, it needs to know how to be grateful. In the relationship, blindly pleasing will only accelerate the imbalance of feelings between each other.
If you just encounter some problems, give each other some time and space, and calm down, it is a good thing.
After having a distance, no longer think that the other party has those intolerable places, but will miss the good of the other party, and at the same time, learn to introspect.
At any time, no matter how much you love someone, expressing love in a measured way will make love more prosperous.
Properly cold a cold lover, love will become more vivid.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.