01
Modern women generally have to go out to work, there is no way to take children at home, and the problem of taking children is left to the mother-in-law. Most of the mother-in-law is retired, has a retirement salary, and has experience with children, so it is also good to let the mother-in-law take the child.
Of course, the premise is that the mother-in-law must be willing to bring it, and if the mother-in-law is not willing to take the child, it cannot be forced on the mother-in-law. Raising children is the responsibility of parents, and mother-in-law has no obligation to raise grandchildren or granddaughters.
The vast majority of mothers-in-law are willing to bring their children, so that they can enjoy the fun of teasing their grandchildren and can also help their sons and daughters-in-law reduce their burdens. However, there are also some mothers-in-law who are reluctant to bring children, and some of them do not intend to bring children, but feel that the responsibility of taking children is too great.
02
The mother-in-law helps to take the child, and the daughter-in-law always thinks that the mother-in-law is not good. One day, after the child made a mistake, the mother-in-law slapped the child's hand twice in order to discipline the child. When the daughter-in-law saw it, she quarreled with her mother-in-law, and the mother-in-law was so angry that she didn't take the child!
This is something that happened at Aunt Gao's house, Aunt Gao's intention is not to help her son's family with children, mainly because it is too difficult to take children, so she is reluctant to bring them in the end. Let's hear the story of their family.
Self-narrator: Aunt Gao
Age: 63 years old
Occupation: Retired worker
City: Deer Spring
03
When I gave birth to my son, I was alone with the child. My mother-in-law is not in good health, she can't help me with my children, and my husband is very busy at work and can't help me. So I was at home with my children, doing some manual work to supplement the family, and then when the children went to school, I went out to work.
I took care of my own children, no one helped me, and no one cared about me. When the child does the right thing, I praise him; if the child does the wrong thing, I criticize him, and if he does not correct the mistake, I will beat him. I think that if you don't discipline your child severely, your child will develop bad habits, which is not good for your child.
Under my discipline, the child has always been very well-behaved and obedient, and his academic performance is also very good. Later, the child was successfully admitted to college, and after graduating from college, he stayed in the city to work. My husband and I have always been proud of our son, and they helped him buy a marriage house in the city, and my son settled in the city.
The daughter-in-law is a city girl, delicate, and does not do any housework. After she married my son, the housework was done by my son, and I didn't feel very sad about my son in my heart, but it was difficult to say anything.
After my daughter-in-law gave birth to my grandson, my son called me to take care of my daughter-in-law and grandson, and of course I was very happy. When I arrived at my son's house, I not only had to take care of the mother and baby, but also did various housework. Since I arrived at my son's house, my son has stopped doing housework, and of course he is very happy.
04
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, it is inevitable that there will be friction, and the same is true between me and my daughter-in-law. However, I think I am an elder, I should have a heart, after all, my daughter-in-law is still young, I can't worry about her. Therefore, the affairs of my son's family are all decided by my daughter-in-law, and I never express my opinion casually.
After my daughter-in-law's maternity leave ended, I went to work, and I continued to stay at my son's house with the children. On the issue of bringing children, I have a big disagreement with my daughter-in-law, she always thinks that I am not good and that it is not good, and I am very wronged in my heart. But for the sake of my son, for the sake of my grandson, I still endured it again and again.
The grandson is gradually growing up and facing the problem of education again, and it is not convenient for me to say anything about my children as a grandmother. I told my son and daughter-in-law that I was only responsible for eating and drinking Lazar, that they were responsible for the education of their children, and that I obeyed their arrangements.
I think my grandson was not born to me, I can't scold if I want to, and beat him if I want, otherwise my daughter-in-law will definitely have an opinion. The son and daughter-in-law are very fond of the child, and everything depends on the child, and the child becomes more and more willful.
Because the child is very willful, the daughter-in-law blames me, saying that I am used to making the child like this. In fact, I am not used to children, habitual children are their little couple. But because the child is in my care, no matter what the child has problems, the responsibility lies with me, and I feel very painful and helpless.
05
Since my daughter-in-law blames me for being used to children, I will be strict with my children, but every time I am strict with my children, my daughter-in-law immediately protects the children, and I have no way to discipline the children.
One day, the child was playing with a set of glasses, and I was doing laundry and my daughter-in-law was playing with her mobile phone next to the child. I told my daughter-in-law that I couldn't let my child play with the cup, because if I accidentally broke the cup. But the daughter-in-law said that in order to let the child develop freely, the child's curiosity should not be restricted.
I said that if I broke the cup, the fragments would hurt the child, and my daughter-in-law was very unhappy, saying that I was worried. A few minutes after the words were said, there was a "bang", and the child really broke the cup, and the fragments stuck to the foot, and the foot immediately bled.
My daughter-in-law and I immediately went to disinfect and bandage the child's wounds, and my daughter-in-law was so distressed that she scolded me for being a crow's mouth, and the child really hurt his feet. I can only sigh, anyway, it is all my fault, my daughter-in-law herself is never wrong.
Half a month after this incident, the child was going to play with the glass again, of course, I did not agree, so I put the glass on the high ground. But then, at some point, my daughter-in-law put the glass cup on the coffee table again, so when I was cooking in the kitchen, the child was secretly playing with the glass again.
I was very angry after I found out, how did the child always disobey and hurt his foot again? In order to make the child remember sex for a long time, I grabbed a ruler next to me and symbolically hit the child's hand twice. At this time, my daughter-in-law just came back from outside, and after seeing me beating the child, she quarreled with me and said that I abused the child.
06
I had always let my daughter-in-law go, but this time I couldn't stand it anymore and got into an argument with my daughter-in-law. I said that the glass is for drinking water, not the child's toy, how can I let the child play with the cup? The daughter-in-law did not show weakness, and said with eloquence that I would not educate my children and abuse them violently.
When our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were arguing, my son came back from work, and he didn't ask any questions, and immediately blamed me for not being right. The son said that the child was born to the daughter-in-law, how to educate the child should listen to the daughter-in-law, I can't make up my own mind.
I also understand the truth of my son, but in the process of taking children, I will encounter various problems. My daughter-in-law is not at home, how can I ask her for advice? Besides, even if she is at home, she only cares about playing with her mobile phone and rarely cares about her children.
I was so angry that I said to my son and daughter-in-law: "I don't have children, I'm going back to the countryside, and you are responsible for the children's affairs!" ”
In this way, I packed up my things and went back to the countryside, and then my grandson was taken by my mother. When my son returned to the countryside, he always said that his daughter-in-law and his mother quarreled almost every day about taking the child, and he was caught in the middle of the dilemma, and I understood the difficulties of my own mother.
epilogue:
Some people say that they would rather go to work than have children, because the responsibility of carrying children is too great. The child is a person, not a thing, not simply to feed him, clothe and warm, there will be many other problems.
The mother-in-law takes the child, because the child is not born to her, and she cannot think of anything in disciplining the child. If the management is strict, the daughter-in-law will feel sorry for the child and blame the mother-in-law for not being good; if the management is loose, the daughter-in-law will blame the mother-in-law for getting used to the child and spoiling the child, so the mother-in-law is really difficult to do.
In fact, since the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cooperate with each other with children, they must tolerate and understand each other. Many things should be discussed and done, and the purpose of being good to children should be taken as the purpose, and no one can act arbitrarily. In the process of raising children, there are many things that seem to be small things, but if they are not handled well, they will soon escalate into big things.
The mother-in-law helps to take the child, which is to reduce the burden on the son and daughter-in-law, and the son and daughter-in-law cannot be taken for granted. Raising children is the responsibility of sons and daughters-in-law, sons and daughters-in-law can not shirk responsibility casually, to know how to be grateful to mother-in-law, to continue to learn how to educate children.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.