Xiao Jie sat in the corridor of the hospital, nervously waiting for the results of the laboratory.
The chat page with boyfriend Dayang was still stuck three days ago, and the boyfriend has been very busy lately, and the phone call to him is either hung up or unanswered.
"Maybe he's in a meeting again," Xiao Jie sighed.
Xiao Jie and her boyfriend have come all the way from college to the present, let alone five or six years.
In the eyes of outsiders, they have been in love for so long, sooner or later they are going to get married.
Dayang is handsome in appearance, can speak the Tao, and is indeed a good marriage partner, but he has a disadvantage, that is, his temper is particularly large.
That day Xiao Jie had a cold, she fainted and helped her boyfriend find socks and shirts, and she fell into a deep sleep again.
At night, Xiao Jie was cooking in the kitchen, and The big Yang opened the door and walked in, and without saying a word, he raised his hand and gave Xiao Jie a slap.
Xiao Jie looked inexplicable, and later learned that In the morning, Dayang went to the company and was reminded by her colleagues that the two socks were different in color.
He was very angry, thinking that it was all Xiao Jie's fault, and deliberately made him ugly in front of so many people in the company.
Halfway through the thought, the results of the examination report came out, and the test report showed that Xiaojie was three months pregnant.
Xiao Jie was both excited and nervous, and she still remembered the time when she was with her boyfriend Dayang, and Xiao Jie asked him what to do if she was pregnant.
Dayang said: "Of course, I got married in situ, I can marry you and have our children, I have no regrets in this life." ”
Thinking of this, Xiao Jie dialed Dayang's phone, listened to the phone, was silent for a moment, and said coldly: "Don't go back first, just do it in the hospital." ”
Xiao Jie was so sad, the little baby in her belly had never seen this world yet.
After sitting stupidly for half a day, she still went to the operating table alone, and she knew that the consequence of not listening to Dayang was to break up.
After so many years of youth and feelings, Xiao Jie can't give up no matter what.
Xiao Jie finally did not keep her love, although she had given in a lot, but the boyfriend finally left without looking back, with the thirty thousand pieces that Xiao Jie lent him.
The sisters around her all said that Xiao Jie was a good girl, cooked a good dish, gentle and considerate, a model of a good wife and a good mother, and a good object that is difficult to find with a lantern.
Xiao Jie herself is also very depressed, the first to fall in love with herself is Dayang, and it is also Dayang who leaves ruthlessly.
Is love really like that, too fragile to stand the baptism of time?
Why is it that after a few years of love, the end of others is to enter the palace of marriage happily?
The same beginning, the different ending, in the final analysis, is only because she did these three things in the process of getting along with her boyfriend.
01
Over-giving
It's right to love someone, but loving someone will only make crazy giving, and that's dangerous.
Crazy paying will only accelerate the emotional consumption of two people and make the other party's mind to leave more resolute.
There is such a Beb's law in psychology, when a person experiences a strong stimulus, the subsequent stimuli are not so great for him.
That is to say, on the issue of men and women, paying is no longer the inevitable embodiment of planting melons and melons, and planting beans to get beans. Our in-depth analysis:
When you first start to pay, the other party will be very moved, and with the accumulation of time, you will pay more and more.
When the other person gradually gets used to it and forms immunity in their minds, the other party will only feel that what you do is taken for granted.
They will not cherish, and will not take the initiative to buy gifts, or care more about girls as a return.
As a paying party, girls hope to get more love and care from boys.
When the other party delays in reacting, the giver is disappointed and depressed, and once these emotions pile up, forming a terrible emotional volcano, one can ignite if you are not careful.
When Xiao Jie and Da Yang fell in love, they took over all the work at home;
Even like taking care of a son, even what style of shirt he wears, what color of socks he wears must be cared for in every detail;
Dayang will not be grateful from the bottom of his heart and increase his love, but will hit him because of a small mistake by Xiao Jie.
In relationships, what we have to do is focus on ourselves.
Don't worry that he's not full, that he doesn't have survival skills...
Focusing on yourself and carefully sculpting your own beauty over the years will increase your partner's attention to yourself.
At the same time, it can be appropriate to guide boys to pay, after all, feelings are two people's business, and so is paying.
As the boy spends more and more time, energy, and even money on the girl, the girl's value in his eyes will become higher and higher.
Even if there are some conflicts, he does not want to break up easily.
02
The bottom line is too low
The bottom line, in layman's terms, is the boundary that you can tolerate.
If the other party chooses more than less after the first time touching the bottom line, and constantly tolerates it, it can only be exchanged for the other party's intensified disrespect.
There is a classic dialogue in "The Year of Hurry":
The girl said, "Let's not break up, shall we?" I did something wrong, you all told me, I changed!
Aren't you saying we're going to be together for the rest of our lives? You don't want me, how can I stay with you for the rest of my life?"
The boy said, "We don't have a lifetime, I'm sorry." ”
This conversation takes place after the girl learns that the boy is cheating on another girl.
The boy knew that he had done something sorry for his girlfriend, but in the case that the girlfriend put down her self-esteem and tried to keep it, she still broke up.
Just like Xiao Jie, it is always her who gives in in her feelings.
Because she was beaten because of the wrong sock color, although Xiao Jie was aggrieved, she felt that Dayang herself had a big temper and could not control it, so she easily forgave him.
Dayang asked Xiao Jie to borrow money, and Xiao Jie also felt that sooner or later she was also a family because she loved him, so it didn't matter how much she lent him.
Xiao Jie was unexpectedly pregnant, and Dayang did not prepare for marriage as she said when she was just in love, but instead coldly let her beat up the child.
Xiao Jie stepped back step by step, but Dayang was trampling on Xiao Jie's bottom line more and more wildly.
In case of one day to look at other girls, Xiao Jie can only become an abandoned leaf.
In the relationship, even if you love each other again, you must keep your bottom line.
Only girls with bottom lines will get the respect of their partners and will get the happiness they deserve in their feelings.
03
Stop the update
Embroni is known as the most beautiful lawyer in the world, not only did she surpass Anne Hathaway, but she also completed her studies at Oxford University and New York University with her ingenuity.
At a young age, she won many honors in the international political arena by relying on her own strength.
She also served as an adviser to former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, where she met with Russian President Vladimir Putin.
If the success of her career and her own beauty make her lucky, then her happy married life is even more enviable.
Her husband is the famous American director George Bruny, who was once an out-and-out bachelor.
But since meeting Emmo, George Bruni has become Emmo's fan.
Although the two were married for some time afterwards, George Bruni still looked like he was obsessed with his wife in the interview:
"She had 11 cases on her hands, and she had to go to Columbia to teach, participate in various lawsuits, meetings, interviews, speeches, and spend time thinking about which dress she would wear to look good, which fascinated me."
And Xiao Jie has rarely dressed herself up since she fell in love, and the busyness of work makes her no longer have time to take care of her appearance.
At the same time, she also thought that she had been together for so long anyway, and she couldn't do it no matter how hard she dressed up.
Although Dayang reminded her several times whether she should clean up and clean herself up, even her skin was not as smooth as before.
She didn't think so, and joked that she wanted to let Dayang see the truest look.
Whether it is in love or marriage, there is no one once and for all.
If you want your feelings not to be diluted, the best way is to constantly fill yourself with new content and constantly update yourself.
When your own external and inner are in different states, the charm you exude will continue to affect the people around you.
Feelings cannot be sustained stably by love, love will only play a role in the early stages.
How to make the relationship happier and more lasting, how to make the man always treat you as well as ever?
You can only stop over-paying from now on and firmly guard your bottom line.
Keep updating yourself and making yourself a better, more confident, and more attractive woman!
Author | Liu Wan loves words, likes psychology, pays attention to personal spiritual growth, is currently engaged in educational work, immersed in the study of gender relations and women's self-improvement, and hopes that through words, everyone will have new feelings and harvests for feelings.