The mothers' eccentricity towards the second child has always been unconscious.
Nowadays, more and more families will choose to have a second child, although the three-child policy has been relaxed, but the vast majority of families still feel that they have more than enough and lack of strength, and the biggest limit is to have a second child.
However, after having a second child, the biggest restriction on the family is not economic pressure, but the problem of getting along between children, and even the difference in parents' attitudes towards their children.
After the second child, seeing Dabao is more and more unpleasant, I want her to disappear!
A bao mother once complained in her circle of friends that after she gave birth to her second child, it was like she had been hit by some evil, especially she did not look up to the boss. No matter what the boss does, he will feel upset.
It seems that after having the second eldest, the mother is eager to let the eldest grow up immediately, not only to take care of her own life, but also to take care of the responsibility of taking care of the second elder for her mother.
Especially when the boss shouts at the mother, the mother is eager to hide herself immediately and not let the child find himself. Even if the child is hungry and wants to drink milk, the mother feels that she should not be needed.
Under this circle of friends, many mothers have resonated, as if after giving birth to a second child, they can't control their emotions even more. Obviously, both children need their mother's treasures, and they also know the truth that a bowl of water should be leveled, but they just can't do it.
After each tantrum with the child, the mother will fall into contemplation, reflect on what she has done, and feel very regretful. And made up his mind that he would never repeat the same mistakes in the future. But it is clearly powerless.
In fact, the second child does not get along well, which is fundamentally the responsibility of the mother
Bao Mom is unconsciously eccentric, exacerbating the children's pet competition behavior
Favoring younger children has always been something that happens to every family, and has even become the norm in society. On the one hand, it is because parents are treated this way from an early age, because they are older and have more experience, and they should be morally kidnapped.
No matter what the child's personality is, precocious or late, it will not become a factor affecting the parents' thinking, and the parents will stick to their own ideas and force the child to change instead of themselves.
On the other hand, younger children need more effort and energy. Every child needs to go through the process of starting from scratch, and when they are born, they do not have any ability, and only through the patient guidance of their parents can they achieve something.
This is also the natural advantage of the second child. Even if they don't say anything, if they don't fight for anything, they can enjoy all the love of their parents, including the love that should be imposed on the boss.
In this way, Bao Ma will unconsciously be eccentric, and this eccentricity is fatal in the eyes of the boss. Even if they were originally favored children, they had no memory at all, did not know what happened and chose to ignore it.
The inaction of the mother increases the difficulty of getting along with the child
When dealing with problems between children, some mothers will choose to escape because they feel tricky, and the so-called avoidance is inaction. When children have conflicts, choose to ignore.
It is also said that the problems between children must be solved by themselves, and there is no need for adults to interfere excessively. This is a way and a way for them to accumulate social experience. He even gave an example of his own experience.
But this kind of cover-up can only deceive outsiders, and the mothers know why they have done nothing, and they do not want to escape responsibility, and when the children grow up, there is no memory of the mother's favoritism, which can also be regarded as ruling out their own problems.
And those who intervened ineffectively were also inactive. They do the opposite or the opposite, which will only exacerbate the contradictions between the children and play the role of mud.
Bao Ma's self-righteousness is like poison
Some mothers, because they have the experience of raising a child, feel that they have achieved something, and in the face of some contradictions between children, they are fully capable of intervening and guiding, but in fact they are self-righteous.
After all, they simply nurture experience, not their actual ability to resolve conflicts, unless a fetus is a twin or a dragon or phoenix, such an experience is effective.
And they are not humble at all, when the people around her give her advice, she will not actively take it, but will only follow her own ideas, so that the impact on the child is getting bigger and worse.
Today's summary:
If you are a second-child mother, how will you deal with the contradictions between the children, will you have an unconscious eccentric situation? Feel free to share your thoughts with us!