For a while, there was a popular saying on the Internet: it's the same with whomever you marry.
But in fact, it is really different from who marries, although the nature and content of marriage have its similarities, but the acquisition of emotions, the experience of life, and the impact on oneself are really different.
As the saying goes, those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black. The environment in which one person lives is really enough to change one person.
Why do many people say that girls before marriage are very cute, and women after marriage are like grumpy women, like shrews. Could it be that Qiankun has changed a person? Of course not, but the living environment and the circumstances in the marriage do not allow them to continue to be cute.
And for men, it's actually the same. What kind of person you meet in your marriage determines which direction your future married life will develop.
Now many little girls like uncles and think that they are mature and stable and have an economic foundation. And men are immutable, always so loyal to like 20-year-old girls.
So many marriages now have a model of old husbands and young wives. Of course, this pattern has also been common in previous marriages.
In this marriage model, do both people get the life they want in marriage?
Song Wei initially did not want to find a young wife, he was fond of one of his classmates, until the other party got married, he did not die.
Later, under the wrong circumstances, he met his current wife when he was 36 years old. At that time, his wife was just 22 years old, and during the summer vacation, she went to work part-time in Song Wei's company.
The two people met in this way, and Song Wei did not think about men and women at all. It was the wife who took the initiative to ask for Song Wei's contact information, and the two people who came and went were also familiar.
As soon as his wife graduated, she married Song Wei, conceived a child in less than half a year, and did not attend a day's class, and became a full-time wife.
When song Wei was married, in the blessings of his relatives and friends, he felt that he had a lot of face. Being able to marry a young and beautiful wife who is so much younger than his own age, Song Wei himself is also a little fluttery.
But in fact, this is only a superficial scenery. At first, Song Wei always felt that the other party had the temperament to attract him, and with the other party, he would be full of youth, as if he had returned to the green onion campus, and there was no end to it.
But as the days go by, people will always get tired. The little wife has no work experience, does not want to go out to work, and cannot bring children alone. Song Wei had to hire a child-rearing sister-in-law, and the financial pressure of the family was put on him alone.
These Song Wei are willing, and what contradicts him is that his wife is somewhat willful and always self-centered. Perhaps because she had not officially attended work, she could not understand Song Wei's work.
Perhaps there is too much leisure time, and the wife always feels that Song Wei snubbed her, ignored her, and did not wholeheartedly accompany her.
The little wife's favorite thing is to put "Do you think work is more important than me?" "Do you really love me?" These words hung on his lips, asking Song Wei to coax. It started with words, but later rose to the point of having to buy gifts.
In order to distract his wife from paying attention to himself, Song Wei gave his wife a fitness card. This fitness card really stimulated the enthusiasm of his wife, and when it came to the weekend, she pulled Song Wei to run and go to the gym.
Song Wei tried his best, but his age was there, and his physical strength really couldn't keep up. Looking at the young people around the gym and the personal trainers who are fitness, Song Wei's worries are even better.
He felt that his fitness card was completely contrary to his original intentions, trying to distract his wife's energy, and ended up exhausting himself half to death; now he added another one, worried that the idle young wife would be abducted by others.
The living habits of the two people are really too much difference, the wife rarely cooks, most of the time is to order takeaway; even if it is takeaway, the tastes of the two people are different, Song Wei wants to eat home cooking, but the wife always punches the net red shop.
Song Wei, who has passed the age of 40, wants a life that is simpler, better. And his wife dragged him all day to play in places he had no interest in. If he doesn't want to go, then he has to face a cold war for a few days and finally get a gift to coax.
These are all internal contradictions, Song Wei is trying to slowly accept his way of life, but also want to subtly integrate his way of life into his wife's life.
What makes Song Wei's headache is that his wife still goes her own way in the face of human affection and sophistication. She is not good at maintaining the relationship between relatives, and some of the good things she says are true, and some of the bad things are easy to make people not come off the stage.
After nearly 5 years of married life, Song Wei felt more bitter than sweet. Now, the wife is also 28 years old, as if she has just realized that the two people are not in love, but have entered the marriage to live.
Maybe it is the increase in age, the wife has changed slightly, although life still makes Song Wei unable to do a lot of times, but it seems to see a glimmer of light.
The age gap will bring many surprises to our lives, and of course, it will also bring many practical problems.
No matter what kind of marriage, do not feel that life can be perfect, these must be fully prepared before we step into marriage.
Age is not actually a measure of a person, mentality is. What is important in marriage is that the three views and ideas of two people should be consistent, if you only look at the youth and appearance of the other party, it will definitely lay obstacles and hidden dangers for future married life.
A good partner can reduce the suffering of life by half.
Marriage is a lifelong thing, and what kind of person you choose is what kind of attitude you choose to live.
Whether this marriage allows you to have a person who can share your life with you, or find someone who constantly brings you wind and rain, whether it brings you a marriage that two people can maintain together, or forces you to support your life on your own, these are all different life feelings.
Of course, it does not mean that we encounter difficulties and immediately turn around and leave, we can look at problems with a growing eye.
If we choose this marriage model of old husbands and young wives, we must give each other a time to grow and buffer. Both people should adapt to each other and be mentally prepared to face the trivialities in marriage.
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[Wen | Wei Wei'an: the pen has temperature, for the voice of emotion, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together]