Children are like a mirror. Whatever you are, he will be. If you want to raise a gentle and courteous child, you must first change the way you speak.
Professor Li Meijin once said: Children resist their mouths, first of all, their parents are unqualified.
In fact, the older the child, the more independent the consciousness becomes. It is indeed not easy for parents to control their children's behavior.
The child's rebellious behavior and rebellious tone are often "taught" by the parents.
What is your tone, what is the child's attitude
The neighbor has an 8-year-old daughter who has always given the impression of being well-behaved and smart.
Once at the elevator entrance, I met a neighbor who was angry with his daughter and saw the neighbor shouting:
"You know all day long playing on your phone, not writing homework, not practicing, what do you say you really want to do?"
The more I talked, the more excited I became, and it seemed that I was about to start.
I thought that the child would cry and be afraid, but I didn't expect that the little girl was holding her head high and showing no weakness:
"I'll play with the mobile phone for a while, you don't watch TV dramas after work, you have to cook food for your father!"
The smell of gunpowder on both sides grew stronger and stronger until the father of the child appeared.
I wondered how such a well-behaved and sensible child could talk like this, and it was not strange to think about it.
Isn't the child's tone and attitude of not accepting defeat the epitome of the neighbor?
Professor Li Meijin said: "The tone of your speech to the child determines the child's attitude towards you. ”
Children are like a mirror to their parents. What the parent does in front of the mirror, the child will naturally follow suit.
As the saying goes: dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and rats give birth to holes.
It's vulgar, but the truth is true.
This is true of parents, and it is true of children.
If you want your child to change your attitude toward you, then parents usually have to pay attention to their tone.
Because the tone of your voice determines your child's attitude toward you.
True persuasion is to communicate well
Blame your child for all your problems, but don't reflect on your own.
Chinese parents like to use reason to persuade people. When communicating with children, they are always depressed and try to persuade children to listen to their voices in a high profile.
As everyone knows, parents who can't talk and don't know how to communicate well, the more they talk, the more rebellious their children are.
The same is true of parent-child relationships.
When parents encounter difficulties, they always stand on their own position, stick to their own views, and teach their children endlessly.
Focusing only on the constant output, but forgetting to listen to the child's inner thoughts.
In this way, the more you talk, the farther between parents and children will be, and the more children will naturally resist contact with their parents.
"Adults often think that talking to us a lot is communication, but in fact, they are talking to themselves, and they are cool."
Once a child's feelings are ignored, communication loses its effectiveness.
If parents want to truly convince their children, they must have a good dialogue with their children in an equal way and in an equal tone.
True communication is a two-way street. There is only an input if there is an output. If your child has a chance to express themselves, they will pay attention to what you say.
The tone of the parent's speech affects the child's future
Mr. Cai Yuanpei said in "The Cultivation of Chinese":
It is not academic achievement that determines a child's life, but a sound personality.
The family is an important platform for children's growth. Parents, as the heads of this platform, will affect the future direction of their children's lives.
It is said that successful tutoring stems from the way parents get along with their children, and the tone of the parents' speech affects the child's life.
I've been in contact with children raised by two different families.
A person speaks softly, is not impatient, and makes people comfortable as soon as they listen;
The speaker was always in a hurry, and he couldn't hear anything he wanted to express.
Until I saw the parents of both sides, I couldn't help but sigh that the "subtle" and "infiltrative" education methods in family education have achieved remarkable results.
Regardless of the parent's temper, the child will die.
It is said that the mouth of the parent determines the child's path.
The formation of the child's personality has long been traceable, and the attitude of the parents to speak is affecting the child's future direction.