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With the development of the times and the progress of society, more and more people pay attention to people's mental health problems.
In past social cases, we can find that the reason why many people have psychological problems is actually because the original family has brought them too much harm, such as violent beatings or indifferent treatment by parents, as well as excessive control, etc., which will make immature children grow in the direction of deformity.
Most people with mental health usually have a happy family, they have not experienced too many ups and downs in life, all the way are safe and smooth, so this kind of people rarely have too strong desires, most of them live a mediocre life.
On the contrary, those who have a heart knot often set great goals because of the obsession in their hearts, so they work hard all the way and try to live.
A psychological research institute in Beijing once randomly selected 3,000 students and investigated their psychological conditions and parents, as well as their own attitudes towards their parents.
The results of the survey were surprising, only 4.75% of these 3,000 people said they loved their parents very much, and nearly more than half of them confessed that their feelings for their parents were more hateful.
Such a result is undoubtedly completely different from the concepts we receive in our daily lives. Why do some people hate their parents so much? Is this really normal?
The answer is yes, everything has two sides, just like the front and tail of the coin, some people love their parents, and naturally some people hate their parents.
People who love their parents usually receive warm love and care in the process of growing up, and they can clearly perceive their parents' tolerance and love for them, so they will naturally reciprocate with the same love.
Children who do not love their parents are mostly unfortunate as children, especially in the case of physical and psychological immaturity, once they have suffered severe trauma, the individual may not be able to heal themselves for a lifetime. So how did a child's hatred of his parents come about?
From the perspective of human nature, the value of each person living in the world will produce hatred when freedom and the right to control their own life are deprived.
Just as parents who do not regard their children as real people, they often regard their children as their appendages, and even control each other with selfish ideas, such people can not raise filial piety even if they work hard for a lifetime. Why do some people hate their parents so much? There are three reasons for this.
First, children are often abused and beaten
Compared with adults, children are absolutely weak, their strength is not as good as their parents, and they can only bear it silently when they are beaten.
At the same time, the child's psychology will also be tortured, why is he beaten? Is it all their own fault?
Children's hearts are usually simple and pure, and they don't put the fault on the parents' inability to control their emotions, they simply think that their actions have angered the other person.
Every time a child is beaten, they are facing a threat to their lives, and children need to survive, so they will not stop loving their parents, they will only love themselves more and more, even self-loathing, even if they grow up, they cannot get rid of this psychological shadow.
The second type is long-term alcoholism and gambling
Parents are the best teachers on the road to children's growth, and their every move will profoundly affect their children's mental health.
Those who have been drinking and gambling for a long time can not fulfill the responsibilities of parenthood, they can not give their children enough material support, nor can they let the children approve of them from the bottom of their hearts and rely on them.
When children lack a sense of security, their psychology is naturally bottomless, whether at home or at school, they will show a cowardly look. Children need to establish inner pillars of strength in their growth, and the presence of parents plays an absolutely decisive role.
The third is too much control
Excessive control is a typical feature of Chinese parents, many of whom often wantonly kidnap their children and even deprive them of their freedom in the name of filial piety.
Such parents often ignore the wishes of their children, for example, children like to draw, but parents want to apply for their instrument special classes. What they like forces children to like, and what they hate must also make children hate along with them.
The best way to love a child is to give him enough respect, children are not an appendage of anyone, they are living people with their own thoughts and hobbies.
There is also a category of parents who regard their children as the sustenance of life, and their unfulfilled dreams must be forced to be completed by their children. Such behavior will undoubtedly bring great mental pressure to the child.
All in all, it is very normal for children to have a situation of hating their parents, and all this is inseparable from the original family.
I don't know how you think about this issue, but if you have any similar experiences, you may wish to discuss it together below the comments section.
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Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
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参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205