A woman's motivation for marriage can be divided into two types, one is that you can give her a comfortable life; the other is to want to build a happy life with you.
The biggest difference between the two is whether she can tie her heart to you, including the values of common struggle.
If it is only to try that you can give her a comfortable life, then such a marriage has been trapped by interests from the beginning, and will always put its own protection first.
For example, if you want a car and a house, you don't have room for negotiation, and it sounds right, who wants to marry and suffer. But the deep meaning behind it is to fight for their own protection, and even if they are not married, they have already thought of the divorce protection in case they cannot survive in the future.
Or Fu Seoul's point of view is more sharp, saying:
"I still believe to this day that if you love someone, you are willing to suffer with him. If you are willing to enjoy happiness with one person, what is love? ”
What is love?
I have the pursuit of material things and want to live a good life, but when the conditions are not allowed, I can also accompany you to endure hardships and create a happy life together.
If matter is always put first, what is love? In other words, even if it is love, then such love can happen to anyone. So it is still very important to be sincere, to follow you down-to-earth and dutifully.
A woman who really marries you and runs to get by!
1, not waiting to enjoy, but thinking about what can be done.
She has a plan for your future, or can plan you into her own future, such as the present will be very economical, but also require and limit your spending, all left for future family construction and development.
It's important to think about what she has planned for the future, and at the same time she has a plan, can she think about what to do for it.
For the sake of future happiness, for the sake of family building, I can do everything that I need to do, including the management of desires, the restraint of vanity, and the arrangement of life.
If it is that kind, she will only force you to work hard to create happiness for her, and it is difficult to be happy after marriage, and it is difficult to build a better family. After all, she has left all the part of her suffering to you, and she only enjoys your fruits and enjoys your labor.
In her eyes, then, you may just be a usable tool for her to achieve a comfortable and happy life, without the values of common struggle, which means that there is no determination to bear a fate together.
2, can think of family interests and put them in the first place.
The money earned by the two people is first used to meet household expenses and reserves, and then used for personal needs. If it is used for personal needs first, and then to meet the expenses of the family, it is difficult to have a happy future. Once something major happens in her life, she will not hesitate to sacrifice your interests.
Being able to put family interests first means that she can clearly carry out who she is living with, and always center on her own small family.
The center of gravity of life has been found, and the route basically will not deviate, otherwise no matter how hard you try, it will be in vain, and no matter how you are alone, you can't support the lives of two people.
I am most afraid that you are desperately struggling in the front, and she is desperately spending in the rear, day by day, year after year, and in the end it is still a void. It's as if you've smashed yourself directly on you, so that you will never turn over.
Marriage is not to find a home for yourself, your partner can take responsibility for you, you also have to take responsibility for your partner, for your family, for life.
3, do not evade responsibility, can face together.
No matter what problems and changes occur, she can face it with you and know that two people share a destiny. For example, when the family encounters financial difficulties, she will work with you to find a way to get through the current difficulties, what you can do, what you can do.
If she is short of money, she always has an attitude of not caring about herself, how to spend money or how to spend money, how to be generous or how to be generous, and the next sentence: "No money, what is the matter with me, you think of your own way." ”
Or shirk responsibility, blame you for all the problems that arise at the moment, blame you, all caused by your lack of ability, and all caused by your wrong decisions.
This is clearly the result of separating interests and sharing the same bed and different dreams. She doesn't think she has any common responsibilities and interests with you, and when she encounters difficulties, she can always get rid of her responsibilities.
And the woman who sincerely lives with you, sweet and sour, bitter and spicy can taste with you, like a pair of chopsticks.
4, can really take that home as their own home.
In both cases, either she doesn't care about anything, including what furniture she buys, she doesn't worry about it at all, just lives her own life, and doesn't delay her eating, drinking, and enjoying herself. Because I don't own this family, I feel that everything has nothing to do with me, and it doesn't matter much.
Or everything is strictly controlled, will not discuss with you first, always take the initiative, and directly deprive you of your right to speak, economic rights, initiative, and the right to know.
A woman who is running to live a life will very much hope that you can work with her to build this home and run this home.
She can take that home as her own home, do her best, do it herself, and realize that that home is the home of two people, which makes you feel like this.
If you always feel that the home is your own, or always feel that the home is just her home, this feeling is an objective judgment based on the facts.
Home, always need two people to guard, in order to retain its integrity. Life, but also two people in one direction to work hard, may be better and better, gradually glowing. It is useless to have a wish, it is useless to work hard alone, and working together is king.
The most valuable thing is not that you marry a woman who can live a life, nor marry a woman who has the ability to run a family, but a woman who shares the same heart and virtue as you.
As long as the hearts of two people can be firmly bound together, no matter what kind of wind and waves are fearless. The so-called husband and wife are in the same heart, and their profits are broken.
If not, you only get the burden, the pressure, after all, she will inevitably drag you in the rear, so that you can not work at ease, and even be made without passion and creativity, thinking about how to escape every day.
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