Don't be a cheap mom

Mom and Dad read intensively

2024-05-24 18:36Posted in Jiangxi Parenting Creator

Author: Xiang Bei (Parent Intensive Reading Author)

While visiting the supermarket, my daughter took a bottle of drink.

When the mother saw the price, she actually asked for 4 yuan, so she educated her daughter and told her to look at the price first when buying things in the future, and not to take it casually.

For example, 2 bottles of drinks cost 8 yuan, which may not be enough to drink, but 5 yuan can buy 3 bottles of mineral water.

The daughter listened cautiously and did not dare to say a word.

In the eyes of mothers, they are more concerned about cost-effectiveness and saving money, but they ignore the needs of their daughters, and even feel that they are very good at educating children.

This video has aroused heated discussions among many netizens.

"It is possible to educate frugality, but there is no need to repeat words that make children feel inferior."

"4 yuan, I thought it was 400,000."

"It really makes girls feel inferior."

In the face of netizens' accusations, the mother not only did not reflect, but instead educated netizens: "Children don't understand, and adults don't understand...... Can a bottle of water make you feel inferior? Your heart is made of glass. ”

It is true that it seems nothing not to buy a bottle of water, but the concept instilled by the mother may have already planted the seeds of inferiority in the daughter's heart.

The mother lives very cheaply, and it is difficult for the child to be happy

A mother with a sense of cheapness is prone to make her children feel guilty and self-blame.

Before giving birth to a baby, Lan Lan was also a girl who loved to dress up, wear beautiful clothes, and spend money to treat herself.

After having a son, she was reluctant to eat and wear, rarely bought new clothes for a year, ate the child's leftovers, and was unkempt.

I would rather grieve myself, but also save money to buy expensive fruits and good milk powder for my son, and give him a good living environment.

The son felt very guilty about this, feeling that his mother's predicament was all caused by himself, and he had been under tremendous mental pressure.

Psychologist Li Meijin once said: "Every psychological or behavioral problem of a child is related to the behavior of parents. ”

It is difficult for a mother who lives a cheap life to be happy for her children.

A netizen confided in his heart.

When I was a child, my mother was reluctant to buy expensive things for herself and spent all the money on her children.

Once during a meal, his mother told him: "This meal alone cost half a day's salary, how hard I worked to raise you, and I must learn to be grateful in the future." ”

Hearing this, netizens fell into deep guilt and felt that they owed their mother too much.

After getting a job, my mother still lives a poor life.

After getting off work, netizens asked my mother if she had eaten.

When she knew that her mother was boiling porridge with pickles again, netizens sighed and asked her not to be so provincial.

But the sentence "I'm used to it for you" made netizens blame themselves even more.

So much so that when I see something I like, I don't dare to buy it at a higher price, feeling that I don't deserve to have those beautiful things.

Under the influence of his mother, he also developed the habit of being careful in his calculations, thinking that if he spends more money, he will be sorry for his mother, and he has been living in the internal friction of debt.

The child is the mother's heart and treasure, and the mother is also the child's closest and most beloved person.

They don't want their mother to live cheaply and lose herself for herself.

This kind of self-sacrificing love can become a bondage, making the child feel suffocated and have a strong sense of unworthiness.

The mother with a sense of cheapness is actually a self-touching giving

Mother's thrift is to create better growth and living conditions for her children, and it is her love for her children.

But sometimes, mother's cheapness is actually just a kind of self-touching.

They see their own efforts, but they don't realize the psychological trauma they bring to their children.

I even thought that the child would understand his mother's dedication, be more obedient, study harder, know how to be grateful, and so on.

When the child is disobedient and unable to control it, he will also use the sense of self-sacrifice to emotionally kidnap the child and restrain him.

Such an approach is a heavy burden in the eyes of the child, and it will cause conflicts in the parent-child relationship.

Once, when my aunt learned that her cousin had failed her final exam, she was sad and angry.

She told her cousin that she got up early and opened a store greedily, and she was reluctant to go shopping, and she was careful every time she spent money, in order to save more money for you to use, and only by studying hard could she be profitable.

Unexpectedly, my cousin shouted: "It's like this every time, and I didn't ask you to do it, can you stop talking about it!" ”

This quarrel, the two fought coldly for several days.

Later, my cousin told me that he was really annoyed that whenever her grades were bad or she didn't do well, my aunt would tell her how she could save money to support her cousin's education.

reminds me of what Huang Zhizhong once said: "The sense of self-sacrifice will make a person feel very good, but it is a very dangerous thing in intimate relationships." ”

Working hard to save money for children is a way for mothers to express their love, and there is nothing wrong with it.

But it's always like this, and on the other hand, instilling one's own dedication to the child, this kind of love is too heavy.

When there is a conflict, the child will be psychologically kidnapped with words such as "I can't even eat XXX" and "Isn't it all for you that I have worked so hard".

If there is disobedient behavior, the child will feel ungrateful and live up to his own efforts.

The mother's self-touching sometimes not only wronged herself, but also trapped the child.

Don't be a cheap mother, and raise a child with a rich heart

When a daughter asked her mother why she was spending more money on a first-class seat, she patiently replied, "You deserve a first-class seat, you deserve a first-class seat." ”

She did not instill in her daughter the concept of frugality, but cultivated her child's sense of worthiness.

Earning money is to live a better life, and to give yourself and your children a good material experience within the scope of your ability.

As a mother, don't be ascetic-like self-sacrifice, be yourself for the sake of your children, and reduce the quality of life.

A mother who does not have a sense of cheapness can raise a child with a rich heart.

So, how to be a mom without a sense of cheapness?

1. Don't owe yourself

"The Theory of Mother Evolution" once proposed that self-care is something that "mothers" must learn.

Being a mother does not mean that you have to endure hardship, you have to sacrifice yourself, she is a character, you are you first, you are the mother.

If the mother is having a hard time and is very poor, the child is actually guilty and unhappy.

Buy beautiful clothes, eat what you want to eat, kiwi can be half per person, and if you like to eat mango, you can also buy one more.

Mothers love themselves, not selfishly, but to set an example for their children.

Be yourself first, a good image and living state, you can transmit positive energy and better influence children.

When they grow up, they will have a richer and richer heart, instead of always feeling guilty about their mother's efforts.

2. Don't be overly frugal

When he was a child, the netizen's family conditions were not wealthy, and his mother was extremely thrifty, and each pair of socks was still made up.

Under the mother's money education, netizens learned to be diligent and thrifty, but as soon as they spent money, they felt guilty and lost the joy of shopping.

Frugality is a good traditional virtue, and it is not a good traditional virtue to teach children not to spend money lavishly.

But sometimes there is no shortage of money, and if you can afford it, you can buy cheap things for yourself and your children.

If you are too frugal, you will become stingy, stingy, leaving the child with the idea that he will make do, and produce a sense of unworthiness and want.

Educating children to develop a consumption concept that matches their economic income and know how to enjoy life will allow them to grow up more freely and happily.

3. Pay attention to the external image

A raunchy, sloppy mom will give a sense of cheapness.

When they appear in public places such as neighborhoods and schools with their children, they will feel inferior because of what their mother is wearing.

A decent external image not only makes others pleasing to the eye, but also improves one's self-confidence, and invisibly conveys to the child's attitude of taking things seriously.

Many mothers say that they are busy every day, where can they take care of their image.

In fact, you don't have to look delicate and glamorous, and you don't have to pursue expensive brands.

Wear clean, comfortable clothes, and your hair is fresh and non-greasy, just as generous.

The educator Vonnarski once said, "What a child becomes depends on the shape of his parents." ”

A mother's view of money, her attitude towards things, will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Mothers who are "too good at living" will form their children's low self-esteem and low self-worth, destroying their self-confidence.

To be a mother without a sense of cheapness, you don't have to be frugal everywhere, pay attention to your external image, and don't restrain your children in the name of "love".

Knowing how to love oneself and maintaining a good state will subtly change children's attitude towards life and nourish their growth path.

May mothers love themselves well, help their children grow, and cultivate confident and sunny children.

About the author:Xiang North,Rich book author,If a person wants to succeed,Don't be obstructed,Don't be tempted,This is the shielding force,Article:Evolution of Mom,Fushu launched the 4th new book,The copyright of this article belongs to Fushu,Unauthorized,It may not be reprinted,Infringement must be investigated

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