The number of words is approximately 2848 words
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Sections of this article:
01, parents and children get along day and night, children may be under greater pressure
02. How do parents turn home isolation into "bad things" into good things?
Recently, the domestic new crown epidemic has affected more than 20 provinces, the situation is more serious, some people say that this is the most serious rebound after the outbreak of the epidemic in Wuhan in 2020.
Some areas of many cities in the country have implemented closed management, residents are isolated at home, schools are suspended, and a large wave of students do not have to go to school.
Many people may think that these children who do not have to go to school are happy, but not necessarily. Some children have mixed feelings when they are isolated at home, and may even feel that it is better to go to school.
This may be due to not wanting to leave school, it may be anxiety about the epidemic, and there is a greater possibility that there is a lot of psychological pressure to spend all day with parents.
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During the period of home isolation, the negative impact that parents may cause to their children is mainly in the following 3 aspects:
First, the parents are anxious, irritable, and even panicked, and they show it uncontrollably. This will make the child feel nervous, scared, insecure, and have to be careful not to make the parents angry. The younger the child, the more negatively they are affected.
If you live in this bad family atmosphere for a long time, the child's personality can easily become timid, fearful, sensitive, and even develop a flattering personality. And this will affect the child's learning efficiency, it is easy to appear learning disabilities.
Second, some parents are prone to blindly complain about society, and emotional words and complaints can also cause psychological trauma to their children.
The global fight against the new crown pneumonia epidemic has been 3 years, and many Western developed countries have begun to choose to "lie flat" and greatly relax the epidemic prevention policy, saying that they want to "coexist with the virus". The mainland still adheres to a strict "dynamic zero clearance" policy.
However, many parents do not understand and approve of this, blindly worship the Western set, and complain about our country's policies. If it is usual, parents are outside with friends and colleagues spitting out, it does not matter; but after home isolation, the object of spit is left with the family, and the child does not want to listen to it.
Some parents may feel that this is too serious, "I just express my personal opinion, how can I cause psychological trauma to the child?" ”
If it is only occasional comments, it is really not a big problem. But many parents repeatedly complain, at every turn, even if the child feels that the parents are reasonable at the beginning, but after listening to it for a long time, it is inevitable to be bored and resistant. Who wants to listen to others often and bear the negative energy of others? Changing adults is also uncomfortable.
Moreover, many of the parents' personal opinions, today's children really do not necessarily agree, and can even be said to be opposed, especially in terms of national and national identity.
In the period when my parents grew up, the strength of our country was far from that of the developed countries in the West, and there were indeed many social problems in the process of economic development. Therefore, many parents have a sublime psychology, and until now they have not realized that they have to adjust.
And now the children, just born in the rapid development and strong period of the mainland, are the indigenous people of the "digital planet", they are involved in a wide range of topics, and they are exposed to a lot of information. Many children have a strong sense of national pride and patriotism, but they feel that the set of many Western developed countries is very hypocritical.
In this way, the views between parents and children are prone to conflict, coupled with repeated complaints from parents, the child's emotions may be very large, can not help but refute the parents, and then may trigger parent-child conflicts.
Third, parents always stare at their children's deficiencies, can't help but preach, criticize, and are more prone to conflict when tutoring homework.
Many parents and children are "distance produces beauty", usually should go to work, should go to school, at night will be together for a few hours, the overall peace.
But after home isolation, everyone stays together almost all day, some of the child's deficiencies are easy to be magnified by parents, parents can't help but urge, preach, criticize, it is easy to cause conflict. If parents still need to help their children do homework, it is easier to jump and the scene is out of control.
In addition, some parents have caused superimposed psychological trauma to their children before, and the parent-child relationship is not very good. Children may be reluctant to communicate with their parents from the beginning of home isolation, locking themselves in their rooms most of the time, even playing mobile phones, games, and online chats.
Parents may also be aware, feel that usually rarely accompany their children, want to take the initiative to communicate with their children, some parents see their children playing mobile phones or games, will not be angry. But they often do not realize that their own education methods are inappropriate, do not realize the root cause behind the child's addictive behavior, do not care about the child's feelings, as soon as they open their mouths, they are prone to conflict, and even activate the child's trauma, touching the negative emotional points, and the result is that the parent and child are quarrelsome.
If this parent-child conflict continues to accumulate, the child's heart is more and more depressed, and there is no way to go out to find friends to relieve the pressure, the child may have emotional collapse, depression, anxiety and other emotional symptoms, and may even develop depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and so on.
This in turn will affect their learning status, even online classes can not be insisted, academic decline seriously, and then become inferior, self-denial. When the epidemic eases, some children may be reluctant to go to school, or even fear at the thought of going to school, and school phobia will appear.
So how can parents avoid psychological trauma to their children during home isolation?
In fact, if parents can cope correctly, they can not only smoothly pass through this special period, but also use this opportunity to repair the parent-child relationship.
First, parents first deeply self-reflect, change and improve, consciously perceive whether there are irrational parts of their three views, and try to actively run in with their children and be consistent.
For example, the above-mentioned sense of identity of our country and the views on the mainland's epidemic prevention policy.
Our country has saved the lives of a large number of people with the strictest epidemic prevention measures to ensure social stability and economic development. Although some areas need to be closed and quarantined when the epidemic rebounds, this is temporary and the best choice made by the state after weighing the pros and cons.
Parents should look at it rationally and objectively, and actively cooperate with the country's epidemic prevention policy. The political culture and social system of mainland countries are hugely different from those of western developed countries, and the latter is not in line with our national conditions, but will only make the epidemic develop uncontrollably, and ultimately bring serious negative impacts on the lives, society and economic development of the people.
Moreover, we must see that according to the changes in the epidemic situation, the state will adjust the measures for epidemic prevention, and the latest "Ninth Edition of the New Crown Pneumonia Diagnosis and Treatment Plan" released by the Health Commission is the best proof.
Second, in the face of various inconveniences in life during isolation, parents will inevitably be anxious and irritable, but they should improve their self-awareness and maintain a positive attitude.
You can take a look at my self-created "Six six shunfa", when you find yourself in a negative mood, you can try to use this method to adjust yourself and reduce catastrophic thinking.
If parents can face dangers when they encounter problems, do not panic, and maintain rationality, this can also bring a good example to children, and even become a role model in children's minds, helping children to cultivate good character.
Third, if the child has a mental and psychological disorder, the period of home isolation may become an opportunity for the child to speed up his recovery.
Parents first learn efficient scientific spiritual psychology knowledge, understand the psychological root causes of children's diseases, and then deeply self-reflect, change and improve, and consciously repair the parent-child relationship and family atmosphere.
Then, taking advantage of the more time spent with parents and children during home isolation, parents can find opportunities to communicate with their children through the trilogy of benign communication - empathy, listening, and positive guidance, understand their inner thoughts, look for psychological trauma that they may have suffered in the past, and consciously repair them.
If parents find that they have caused psychological trauma to their children, they can sincerely apologize to their children, which is the first step in repairing the parent-child relationship, and continue to change the way of education to avoid continuing to cause psychological trauma to the child and worsening the child's condition.
Fourth, if the child already has a learning disability, home isolation temporarily removes the child from the school environment, which is likely to make the problem better.
Home isolation slows down children's learning progress and naturally reduces learning pressure. Parents can seize this opportunity, when the child is learning at home, parents consciously create a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere, as far as possible so that the child will be excited, pleasant emotions and learning situations, behaviors combined. This is conducive to cultivating children's interest in learning, alleviating learning disabilities, and even establishing a state of efficient learning.
In addition, parents must also master the relevant knowledge of learning disabilities and see the psychological root causes of learning disabilities in order to strengthen prevention and response.
Fifth, during the period of home isolation, parents should learn to accompany their children with high quality, create a warm family atmosphere, and cultivate a close parent-child relationship.
Parents and children can carry out some recreational activities that children like, such as playing puzzle games together, watching a good movie, or appropriate physical exercise.
The positive interaction between parents and children can bring joy and laughter, make fun during the period of home isolation, and leave a good memory. When the family ushers in the unsealing, the parent-child relationship can also be warmed up, which really turns bad things into good things!