Gorky said: "Just loving children is something that a hen would do, but being good at raising them is a great public undertaking." ”
Treat the child as an independent person and understand the child's growth rules.
Farmers plant crops, relying only on love, not, only understand the way to plant crops to have a good harvest; education of children, only love, not enough, only understand the growth law of children can have a good future.
Today I recommend our parents, take a look at this article, What China needs the most education is not children, but parents.
Parents now generally adhere to a casual and relaxed mentality: as long as there is a marriage license, you can have children; as long as you have the ability to have children, you have the ability to educate children.
Some parents even believe that any adult can educate a child, grandparents can educate a child, and a nanny can educate a child.
When did parents begin to acknowledge the difficulties of education? It wasn't until their children became "problem students" at school that parents began to panic about their children's educational problems.
The famous educator Dewey said: "Children are not adults who have not yet grown up, and childhood has its own intrinsic value."
01
Having a baby, you can't "return it"
Educating children is the most important and difficult knowledge of mankind, and it is more difficult than any work.
Parents are the homeroom teachers who never retire and have responsibilities for their children's lives. No matter what kind of child you are facing, you can't regret it or "return it."
The fate of the child is in the hands of the parents.
No matter how successful parents are in their careers, they cannot withstand the failure to educate their children. Cultivating geniuses into mediocre ones is the greatest crime against the family and human civilization.
Since most families have only one child, we probably don't even have a chance to correct our mistakes, not even a chance to compensate.
So we only succeed in educating this only child, which is almost the most important success of the family.
02
Don't miss the critical period of your child's development
Critical period of development: refers to the mastery of certain human behaviors, skills and knowledge, which develops the fastest and is most susceptible to influence in a certain period.
If the child is properly educated during the critical period of development, he can learn quickly and well, and often receive the effect of doubling the results with half the effort;
Once a critical period is missed, learning will take several times more effort to make up for it, and it will never be able to make up for it.
How many critical periods of child development do you understand?
Like what:
Learn to chew the key period (6 months).
The critical period of order and norms (2.5-6 years old): The critical period for the formation of children's behavior habits, and the personality, behaviors and habits formed during this period will often not change until they grow up. "Three years old looks big, seven years old looks old."
The critical period of language development (3-6 years old).
Critical period of imagination development (2-8 years old).
Culturally sensitive period (6-10 years old): Many children in this period are very curious, brainy, and have many problems. The child's desire to learn should be satisfied.
Golden Reading Period (8-14 years old): If you miss the scientific reading guidance and a lot of reading in this period, it will cause irreparable shortcomings to the growth of children.
Critical period of independence (12-15 years old): This period is not grasped well, and the child will never grow up.
03
Re-recognize maternal and paternal love
Maternal love and paternal love are needed by children, but each stage of the division of labor is different, the primary and secondary are different.
Maternal love: virtue and etiquette, character temperament. Mothers have a huge influence in the infant and childhood stages of children.
Fatherly Love: Directional Guidance and Rational Action. A great father must be the guide of his child and the founder of his thoughts.
Law: The maternal love needed for children to grow up shows a decreasing trend, and the father's love shows an increasing trend.
Infant stage: maternal love 80%, paternal love 20%
Lower primary school: maternal love 70%, paternal love 30%
Middle Grade: Maternal Love 60%, Paternal Love 40%
Upper Primary: Maternal Love 50%, Paternal Love 50%
Junior high school stage: Maternal love 40%, paternal love 60%
The primary and secondary school articulation stage is the end of the romantic stage of the child's growth and the beginning of the precise stage; the transition period from mother's love to father's love.
During this period, maternal love should be appropriately reduced and paternal love appropriately increased.
The first sentence: Good parents are learned.
There are no naturally successful parents, and there are no parents who do not need to learn, and successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement.
I have come into contact with so many outstanding parents that none of them have easily achieved the success of the godson. An excellent mother even said: Many people think that I am very relaxed, saying that your child is so good, do not care at all, do not know, I even sleep at night with one eye open!
In the 21st century, the information society has higher and higher requirements for the quality of people, and any position requires training and assessment, but it seems that only the birth and education of children do not need training, as if they will automatically take up their posts and will never be laid off.
The second sentence: Good children are taught.
I have come into contact with hundreds of excellent parents, and one of the things they have in common is to work educating their children, just like Shen Liping, one of the top ten outstanding mothers in the country, if it were not for her own words, people would not think that she put so much effort behind the growth of her son Wang Jiapeng.
Some people may say that there are so many parents who don't know one big word, don't they also educate good children? In fact, illiteracy is not unable to educate, these parents are also masters of educating their children.
The third sentence: Good habits are cultivated.
Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, on the teachers, on the children themselves, but not on themselves.
In fact, most of the habits in children, whether good habits or bad habits, are intentionally or unintentionally cultivated by our parents.
Parents are often the biggest creators of children's problems, and they are also the biggest obstacles to children's correction of mistakes and shortcomings. The most urgent thing is not to educate children, but to educate parents, without parental change, there is no change in children. There are no children who do not want to learn well, only children who cannot learn well, no children who do not have a good education, only parents who will not educate. Therefore, scolding yourself before scolding the child, and hitting yourself before hitting the child, only in this way can you completely change yourself.
Fourth sentence: Good grades are helped.
With regard to quality education and test-taking education, the whole society must have a correct understanding. Test-oriented education is a problem that neither the school nor the parent can avoid, and it requires the school and the parent to adapt together. There is no contradiction between test-taking ability education and quality education, and quality education without test-taking ability is not real quality education.
Therefore, helping children adapt to test-oriented education has become a due obligation of our parents, and the best way to help children reduce their burden is for our parents to increase their burden, that is, our parents can become the child's mentor.
Fifth sentence: Good communication is heard.
For parents whose children enter junior high school and high school, there is a general confusion, that is, it is difficult to communicate with their children. Children who enter puberty have more conflicts with mothers who enter menopause, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, the external pressure of both is very large, the child is facing the pressure of further education, and the mother is facing the pressure of career, which requires more communication.
Sixth sentence: Good achievements are indoctrinated.
Intelligence is not the most important, more important than intelligence is the will, more important than the will is the mind, more important than the mind is a person's character.
In fact, these are the most important things in a person's growth. When we look at biographies, we are often extremely impressed by the extraordinary nature of the Messenger's childhood, because this motivation for achievement has a huge impact on a person.
Source: The picture and text come from the Dolphin World Babe teacher, invaded and deleted.
EDIT: Xiao Huang