1 Recently I made a video saying that there are several behaviors in marriage that are easy to be thankless, such as blaming, being aggressive, and managing too much as soon as you open your mouth. Unsurprisingly, someone in the comments said: No one wants this, but conditions do not allow it. Every time you shoot a video or write an article, whenever you talk about intimacy, there is basically this kind of comment. For example, when I write a mother-in-law story, some people say: You can handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because you have money. I write about my husband doing housework, and some people say: That's because you can earn money, no money to try! Or: That's because you have a good life and a good husband. The implication is: I have a bad life and no money, so I deserve to live so badly. If even you think so, what motivation do others have to be good to you? I find that many women are especially good at making excuses for themselves so they can continue to lie in the mud pit with peace of mind. Many people may not even realize that these reasons are excuses. I have seen many women who do not earn money, people have a good life, have a lot of say at home, and do not do thankless things. On the contrary, some women have money and can earn money themselves, but they are a mess. When we don't have money, we always think that as long as we have money, everything is fine, and we always think that all suffering is caused by lack of money. When you really have money, you will find that this is not the case, in addition to making people comfortable, money can not improve the relationship between people. So, don't use no money as an excuse, many things, no money can also be done, especially intimate relationship things.
2 For example, as mentioned in my video, some people especially like to accuse each other, the husband brings a child, she opens her mouth is: can you take the child well, how do you bring it, do you have such a father! As a result, the man is not willing to bring it in the future, and you can only scold him while bringing it yourself. Because no matter what he does, you always blame, who wants to be blamed while rushing to work. Since this is not good, then change your way of speaking, what conditions are needed for this? Even if you don't have a penny, as long as you want, you can change it immediately. Speaking of being strong, now the word female independence has been used badly, some women are caught in the fire, feel that money should be earned by themselves, work to do their own, do everything by themselves, when men do not exist, so that they are qualified independent women. But why? Man clearly exists, why when he does not exist, if he does not exist, then why should he get married?
I can be an independent woman, but I can also spend men's money and let men do the dirty work of the family, which is not contradictory or conflicting. Men also need a sense of existence, if he is not allowed to do some work, he will have no sense of responsibility, he will feel that this family does not need him, he will be very lost. In some family situations, it may be that men work outside, so women have to do everything in the family, but men's money can always be spent, right? We don't mean that men have to be forced to work, it is true that every family situation is different, but no matter what the situation, both men and women are playing a role together. As long as they are all playing a role, there is no such thing as a woman's strong, and there is no such thing as being strong and inviting people to be suspicious, and your family is grateful that you are too late. Some families are, men have the conditions to do, but just don't do it, women can't move him, so they will feel that they don't have the luck to find a good husband, so they have to be strong. This is also why some women have left a message saying that no one wants this, but the conditions do not allow it. But I would like to say, such a useless husband, why keep? Wouldn't it be okay to change one? It is precisely because he knows that no matter how asshole he is, you will not leave him anyway, you will silently do it yourself, so he dares to be an asshole all the time. But if he understands that you have the guts to leave him, he will certainly behave better than he does now. Someone may say: I really don't have the conditions to leave him. There are two kinds of conditions here, one is economic conditions and the other is spiritual conditions. If he can provide good economic conditions, then it is worth it to endure, people always have to make trade-offs, but at the same time they must find ways to solve the problem of their own economic independence. If you are mentally inseparable from him, then you have to find a way to make yourself mentally independent, instead of blindly complaining that you don't have the conditions to leave. Let's talk about too much. Some women like to manage everything, like the director of teaching, from men's eating and dressing to personal contacts, and even the affairs of anyone in the in-laws. I always feel that it is safer to manage in this way, otherwise these people will run away and do not let themselves worry about it one by one. I can also understand some people's complaints, husbands and in-laws are really unconscious, old trouble, no matter if it doesn't work, the management is still a little better. But I want to say that you are a wife and a daughter-in-law, and you are not a housekeeper. They always make trouble, let them clean up the mess themselves, you don't have to deal with the aftermath, just take care of your own money. It's too much, you can still get a divorce. But everywhere you manage them, you are tired to death, and people are annoyed with you. Of course, this is not to say that it is completely indifferent, but to manage the big and let go of the small. Money must be managed, important decisions at home must be managed, to ensure that the family is not ho ho, and other insignificant small things can be ignored. These things don't require money, you just need to change your thinking.
3 Regardless of the relationship between husband and wife or the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if you want to deal with it well, you really don't need to have more money. A mother-in-law who always accuses you of spending money indiscriminately, she blames you when you are a full-time housewife, you go to work to earn money, she is just as likely to blame. A husband who does not do housework and does not pay for living expenses, when you do not earn money, he is like this, he may become more intense when you earn money, not only does not pay for living expenses, but also may ask you for money. A lot of things, really not a matter of money. If we always attribute everything to money, if we can't earn much money in our lifetime, will we endure humiliation and grievances for a lifetime? For example, the three points I mentioned above, accusations, arrogance, and too much management, which one is related to money? It doesn't matter, even if you don't have a penny, these three points can not be done.
No matter what happens in your life in the future, please don't think first: I don't have any money, so I can't change it, I can only live like this. Instead, I should think: I don't have any money, no money has its own value, I have to find a way to solve it! As long as a person is healthy, and not afraid of hardship, willing to do things, even if he can't earn much money, he will not starve to death, what is there to worry about. Writing this article today, is not because some people do not agree with my point of view, I have to argue it, I am not even afraid of bad reviews now, will I be afraid that the views will not be recognized? I am writing this because I have heard this kind of remark too many times, and I really want to correct it, and my purpose is to hope that everyone will live a good life. To change your perception is to move closer to a better life. Graph source network