In the days of raising children, many parents have experienced the "difficulty of feeding".
Children may usually be quite well-behaved, but once they arrive at the dinner table, they are not honest, or they are busy watching TV and playing with toys, or they are absent-minded, and their parents feed them one bite at a time, and persuade and coax, but the cubs are "unappreciative".
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The angry old father and mother only wanted to scream at the sky, "How can we subdue this 'little monster' and let him eat obediently?" ”
Perhaps, you need to understand why your child doesn't want to eat well!
Listen to the experts' analysis
1. Parents lack patience and let children develop inertia
Let's reflect on whether they have enough patience in the process of training children to eat on their own.
Many Chinese parents have a common problem: they always think about doing everything for their children.
When seeing children want to take spoons, chopsticks or directly grab food with their hands, parents are always full of worry, afraid that they will scatter rice everywhere, or worry that they will be burned, and then they will immediately grab the child's rice bowl and feed it themselves, not knowing that this will deprive them of their interest in eating.
Over time, there will be two endings: one is to rebel against parents and is unwilling to eat well in the future; the other is to develop inertia and habitual dependence on parents to feed.
2. Parents do not respect their children's feelings and overfeed
"There is a kind of hunger that makes your parents think you are hungry."
As a parent, I am always worried that my child will not have enough to eat, so I will desperately give them food, even if the child has clearly said, don't. But the parents ignored it, still kept feeding, and did not find the child's painful expression at all.
Benjamin, a famous Pediatrician in the United States, said, "Every child is born with a set of exquisite physiological mechanisms that regulate the amount and type of food they eat to meet the needs of normal growth and development." ”
Even young children who have not yet matured know what it is like to be "full", parents ignore the needs of their children again and again, forcing them to eat more, for a long time, the child's psychology and physiology will be hurt, when fed, may deliberately eat while playing.
In addition, if you give children too many snacks before meals, when it comes to eating a meal, they are not willing to eat, and this bad habit should also be quit in time.
Knowing the reasons why children are reluctant to eat well, how to solve the problem with the right medicine?
High emotional intelligence mothers can solve it in three moves
1. "Be an audience member and give the stage to the child"
According to this mother, today's children are "human spirits", they can actually understand the eyes of adults the most, every time before doing something bad, they will quietly look at the expression of their parents.
When my family's big treasure is noisy and does not eat, the first reaction of the family is not to "coax" or "persuade", because as soon as these moves come out, they are equivalent to showing weakness to the child, and the child will continue to climb the pole, and the noise may be more serious.
In order to extinguish the prestige of the child, the family will choose to ignore him, leave him on the stage for him to "perform to the fullest", and when he is tired and bored, he will obediently eat.
Expert comments: This is also a kind of "educational feature" of many young parents, some time ago also saw a news, after 90 parents in the face of children lying on the ground in public, the first reaction is not to coax, but to drink milk tea, play mobile phones, let him make trouble.
It shows that parents have slowly realized that when children make unreasonable trouble, parents should give them enough time to calm down, and then try to guide education, which will often be more effective with half the effort.
Professor Li Meijin, a famous psychologist, also put forward the "four noes" principle, when a child loses his temper, do not scold him, do not beat him, do not preach, do not walk away.
II. "Treat others in the way of others"
If the above article is aimed at "drama baby", then this one is for "rebellious baby".
In the words that are popular now, "Since you can't beat it, then join you." And "Take the path the child takes, so that the child has no way to go!" ”
For example, when my family's second treasure learns to lose his temper like Dabao every time he eats, but he is still a little different from his brother, the brother is at most a "drama spirit", he is "playing rebellious", I want everyone to pay more attention to him, so when eating, everyone must be coaxed to eat, and every time they eat, they deliberately scatter the rice and ask the adults to feed.
Later, my husband and I came up with a method, whenever Xiao Bao made a fuss, I began to learn his actions, deliberately imitating his performance, and then my husband deliberately said "such an adult, how can it be better to understand Things than Xiao Bao, don't see Xiao Bao will eat more", and constantly use rainbow fart offensives until Xiao Bao is embarrassed and eats obediently.
Expert comments: This is also a good idea, each child has a different personality, and the purpose of not wanting to eat is also different. As parents, we may as well try to dissect our children's inner world and analyze why they are reluctant to eat.
Generally speaking, children who deliberately play rebellious and pay attention to them are actually relatively sensitive in their hearts, and they will be more eager for the attention of their parents, so they cannot adopt the method of "cold treatment", but they must follow their wishes, give him enough love, let him get satisfied, naturally he will give up, and his interest in eating will become strong.
III. "Doing a Good Role Model"
In fact, regarding the reason why the two children do not eat at the same time, the family has reflected well, and finally found that the reason why they are like this may be partly influenced by adults.
Therefore, before the husband was busy at work, often while eating while still looking at the mobile phone, sometimes did not eat a few bites to stop, after half a day to eat, and once he did this, the whole family will focus on him.
Later, Dabao may have "played the upper body" and learned this set, and then the second treasure also learned to be bad.
In order to set a good example for the children, the family has set a rule: pay attention when eating, do not play with mobile phones, watch TV, play with toys, etc., and those who break the rules are punished for brushing the bowls for a week.
Sure enough, the children, driven by us, began to change slowly, and now as soon as they arrive at the meal, they obediently eat it themselves.
Expert analysis: Parents are the children's leaders, but also a good example, your words and deeds will be imitated by them, so usually pay more attention to do a good job, cultivate a good family style.
Extended reading: Train your child to eat and have the best period
1. Embryonic period. Usually when the baby is 10 months old, they become interested in eating, and parents can let them try to eat on their own and give enough patience.
2. Induction period. Generally when the child is more than 1 year old, he begins to eat slowly with a spoon, and parents can praise it more, so that they learn and fall in love with eating independently.
3. Consolidation period. Generally the child is about 2 or 3 years old, you can prepare a set of good-looking and practical tableware for him, usually teach them more dining etiquette, help them eat better.
Usually seized these opportunities, often without persuasion, without coaxing, children can also get used to eating on their own.
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