Loving your children is an innate instinct. In fact, it is very difficult, sometimes I know that it is not right to hurt my child, but it is really difficult to control, I can only control myself not to have extreme thoughts and behaviors about myself and not to the child, sometimes after yelling at the child to see the child's aggrieved expression I think if there is another chance to choose, I will choose not to have a child, not because the child is not good is to feel that I can not do a good job of a qualified mother, always easy to be irritable will scold the child will also hit the child, I do not know how the child grows up? I just want my kids to be better than me.
I remember when I was a child, my mother never accompanied me when I went out to work, and some of them were also accompanied by a short period of time during the New Year's Holiday, once I carefully asked my mother, can you hug me, my mother hugged me very perfunctorily, there was no imagination of gentle words, alas, when I grew up, I knew how to love people, how to give children love, my husband also loved me, but there were always shortcomings, because I didn't need the hugs of my parents when I grew up, and the feelings when I was a child were irreplaceable
I have a boyfriend, very small without a mother, missing love, talking to him about feelings always hurts me to the skin, because he doesn't care about people, and never cares, what suffering he also carries himself, as if the emotional thing he never communicates, because he won't, so he suffers from himself, but also suffers from others, but I want to heal him.
Looking back on my childhood, I am confused: it seems that there is no lack of love, and it seems that I have not received it. Nearly half a hundred years of nothing and half a sigh, life has become a hundred years, only hope that the child will not return to my mistakes.
Because I've suffered from this, I'm more likely to avoid it. I don't quite understand why some people fall into the pit themselves but pull others in, isn't it because they are under the pit, so they hurry to push out the people who have not yet fallen? There are also people who define the world because of their own misfortune, and I was like this for a while, but then I felt that I actually couldn't live with myself, that is, to make it seem like I was miserable, and then I thought who didn't have such a thing in my life? It's just that no one told you, I found that many people have encountered it in childhood and even after going to society, but if I define the whole world so easily, then am I not the same as the people who treat me like that? So I think as long as I don't become such a person, I'm careful not to create one, and I can solve the problem.
But if we can't convince ourselves that our parents' love for us exists, how can we live with ourselves and love others? My parents may be swearing and grinning, but they gave me life, I believe they are willing to see me excellent, I succeed, they make money is not easy, they feed me, they love me, but they don't know how to tell me to love me and support me, and educate me in the way I accept. Most of China's family education is implicitly afraid of your pride to suppress you to control you, if my grandparents and parents will not say love, I am willing to say first, I am willing to believe that they love me, I want to love myself, repay them, let them be proud of me, but also let the people around me not regret knowing me.
Abusing your own child to death is called love? In addition, hitting is the most stupid way (except for some right and wrong things that must be fought), especially if you don't know the true situation of a thing at all. It is said that "seeing is believing", but now many things "seeing is not necessarily believing", because you don't know what reason they do this, you just see what consequences he brings when he does things, so this is why children talk back to adults, because you don't understand what he thinks, and you don't give the opportunity to say it. When saying that the child is talking back, first think about whether he is reasonable or not.
I also think that what people do and think is very affected by the surrounding environment and people, whether we like it or not, self-knowledge or not, the way they talk and do things will be very similar to the people we live with, until slowly grow up, can distinguish between good and bad and know how to control themselves, will change some of their habits and attitudes little by little, and develop in a good way, just like tasting the taste of candy to know its sweetness.