There will be moments when a child grows up and he needs to know that he can say "I'm afraid" and still get support.
- Cangran
Fear is a common human feeling, how to teach children to face "brave" and "afraid" directly, and bring positive energy to children?
The founder of Sanwu Hoe and the well-known children's book author Yue Ran once discussed the topic of "courage" and "fear" with his son Mini, and many parents were deeply inspired, and it turned out that supporting their children to say "I am afraid" can also gain courage!
Cangran: Facing "I'm Afraid" with Children
Once, When Minnie met something that he was afraid to participate in, he told us about it, and before going to bed, he asked me if I was brave enough to choose not to do something because I was afraid.
"Do you think you're a coward?"I asked.
"No." He paused and said.
"Tell you something," I said, "what happened when I was in kindergarten." ”
We all stopped the other movements and stabilized our breathing. I started----
"Mom, when I was very young, when I was in kindergarten class, one day, the sports school came to our kindergarten to select children. They have to choose some children who are particularly good at sports to go to the diving team. The teachers took us to the gymnasium and lined up and jumped into the water from the 2 or 3 meter jump platform one by one. Show it to the people at the gymnasium. ”
"Is the platform high?" Minnie asked.
"Gao Yi." I said, "Two or three meters!" Mom was very young, and to mom, jumping off the stage was like a giant dinosaur. ”
"Did you jump?" Minnie asked.
"Listen to me," I patted him on the back, "Mom was very scared. At that time, I couldn't drink water and I was afraid of heights, and it was very normal to be afraid. Right? ”
"Yes!" He nodded vigorously.
"Scared, sometimes because you know you can't do something. For example, I'm afraid to jump into the water because I can't swim. Do you understand this? "I watched him in the dark. He nodded seriously.
"I'm not afraid, or maybe I didn't expect anything to happen if I jumped into the water." This is not necessarily related to timidity or timidity. I said.
"Did you jump?" Minnie asked again.
"Listen to me," I moved, took him into my arms, and said, "At that time, my mother was a very obedient child. I hope that the teacher praises me, and I hope that the children will envy me. As long as the teacher asks for something, as long as it is something that the children think is particularly good. Mom will try to do it. Definitely do it. Mom was such a little girl at that time. ”
"Hmm." Minnie looked up at me and said.
"But yeah," I kissed him in the eye, "that time I dived, my mother was particularly scared." I was terrified. One by one, we climbed onto the jumping platform. The children in front jumped down one by one. They don't seem to be afraid at all. Mom felt that she was scared fast. ”
"Did everyone jump down?" Minnie asked.
"Yes." I said, "I remember there was a teacher on the jumping stage, and if you didn't jump, he would urge you." ”
"Minnie," I buried my chin in his plush hair, "Mom was afraid of S at that time." But no matter how scared, my mother felt that she had to jump. ”
"Why?"
"Because, because everyone is jumping!" How can you not do what everyone does--- I thought at the time. ”
"When you are afraid, you not only have your heart pounding, but you also feel that you are lonely, and others are different from yourself." Right? I asked him.
He plunged deeper into my arms and let out a muffled "um."
"Mom was in line waiting for diving. Feeling lonely and scared. Just as I was about to jump, there was a boy in front of me two, and I still remember him! Do you know what he did?! ”
Minnie looked up at me with wide eyes.
"Boy, it's his turn to jump. He stood there and said to the teacher, 'Teacher, I don't dare to jump, I don't jump.' wow! Minnie, you don't know! I think that little boy is so good! He dared to say he was afraid! He was so brave isn't he? What no one else, including his mother, dared to do, he did! I said with my hands dancing.
"Yes!" Even in the darkness, Minnie mouse looked at me with twinkling eyes.
"The teacher said, then you go down." The little boy went down the stairs and went. Then it was Mom's turn, and Mom was also very relaxed and said, 'I don't dare jump!' Also gone. There are more and more people at the back of the line who don't jump. I laughed, and Minnie giggled too.
"To this day, my mother still thinks that the boy is very strong. He made my mother dare to say that I was afraid, and also made my mother feel that everyone was afraid. Because I know that everyone thinks like this, I will not be lonely. ”
"Can you say 'I'm afraid'?" Minnie asked.
"Yes." I looked him in the eye and said, "It's normal to be afraid." Sometimes you don't want to be afraid anymore, just do something that you are not afraid of. Sometimes you just want to keep being afraid and don't do anything about it. You can decide for yourself. ”
As a child grows up, he will have moments when he needs to be nudged by his parents to encourage him to move in the direction; but there will also be moments when he needs to know that he can say "I am afraid" and still get support. Or maybe, deep down in everyone's heart, we want that kind of support.
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