Have you ever heard such an exclamation, people are old, not useful; can not help much, net chaos, annoying; can only eat can not dry, no one is rare. These words reveal a trace of helplessness and desolation, which makes people feel pity and sadness. The man is old, so why not invite his children to like him? Is it just because there is no ability to give?
In "The Love Sought in Life", it is said:
"You're a piece of meat on me." The mother said to her son, "Don't lose me, or I'll fight with you!" ”
"You are the child I raised so hard." The father said to the child, "If you don't listen to me, I'll kick you out!" ”
It can be seen that parents have paid a lot for their children, but at the same time they have expectations and requirements.
Empathetically, what do children think when they hear such a warning? Mr. Liu Yong's answer is that they will regard father's love and mother's love as "two big bombs".
When you are young, your parents give more and ask less, and the "bomb" is safe. But once they get older, parents become dependent on their children, and every undesirable exchange or communication may become a "bomb lead".
In this case, the reason why parents do not attract their children's liking, in addition to their inability to pay, more importantly, their sensitive and self-righteous emotional cognition cannot be accepted by their children, such as the following 3 sentences are very hurtful.
01
"I'm for your own good, you love to listen or not!"
Isn't that a bit familiar? I believe many old people have said. From your own point of view, watching what children are doing, you often feel dissatisfied.
For a moment, I can't help but want to make some comments, say two sentences, and when I am recognized, I have a great sense of accomplishment; if I am refuted, I will be mad and play angry.
The child is your own child and brought up by you, but he is not private property and cannot be disposed of arbitrarily.
In their eyes, you're right, or not right, sometimes it doesn't matter at all, because the vast majority of people are "donkeys" and don't want others to point fingers.
02
"How did I raise you, how did you give it back to me?"
Such a request is simple to say and sounds reasonable, but in real life, it is too difficult to really do it.
The neighbor's aunt talked about such a thing. She went to her grandson's first birthday party, talked to her relatives a little louder, and her daughter waved her hand and said, "Mom, be quiet, the baby is asleep!" ”
But when the aunt was tired and wanted to take a nap on the sofa, several older children were laughing and playing in the house, but the daughter did not say: "Lighten up, Grandma is asleep!" ”
This shows that everyone's love for their children cannot be equated with filial piety to their parents, nor can they be equated. Because people are more "filial piety to children" than "filial piety to parents".
03
"Bringing children is love, not bringing is the duty!"
Nowadays, parents help to take their children, which is not only the embodiment of the family affection of the next generation, but also the guarantee of the children's safe work. Whether or not it should be calculated will inevitably affect family relations.
A netizen said that before retiring, he began to plan his later life, and told his son and daughter-in-law that they would take their children when they had time, and they had no time to rely on themselves.
At that time, the grandson had not yet been born, and the two little ones agreed happily. However, after really having a child, the son and daughter-in-law's attitude changed, and they rushed to help all day long.
She was naturally unhappy, and directly said that taking the child is a love point, not a duty, and the result is very unpleasant with each other.
When people are old, it is understandable to expect or demand from their children, but they must be thoughtful in what they say and do. Know how to empathize, maintain a good attitude, and learn to face reality.
Society is developing, concepts are changing, and everyone is pursuing the life they want, but reality is not as simple and beautiful as imagined, and you need to adapt to your own changes. After all, no matter what, blood and affection are always cut.