"Wen | Pistachio Mom (original article, welcome to personal reprint and share)"
When your family goes out, who is holding the baby? Dad, or Mom?
Some time ago, I got together with a high school classmate I haven't seen for a long time, and she has a son who is more than 1 year old. When we got together, she took the baby out as well.
During the chat, I knew that her husband was actually resting at home on weekends, but he didn't often take the baby. The child and the father are not close, the father occasionally wants to accompany the child, the child does not want, the father accompanies the child less and less. Therefore, even if students come out on weekends to relax, they can only bring their children.
Seeing the couple going out, the father hugged the baby, and the classmate said: "What envy!" When our family of three went out, my father never held a child, and the only difference between me and my single mother was that I had to serve a man. ”
The family happiness of the father holding the baby when going out, and the basic "single parent" of the mother holding the baby?
This sentence, when you think about it, seems to have some truth.
When a family of three goes out, the baby is still relatively small, and it will be very tired when it is held all the time. The older baby should be held, the weight base is in, and it is very tired to hold.
Of course, this "physical work" should belong to Bao Dad.
Generally speaking, the father who goes out to hold the baby at least shows that the baby is close to the father, and the father is also willing to hold the baby. Bao Dad's sense of responsibility for raising children must exist.
A man with a sense of responsibility, for a family, can not only reduce the burden of carrying a baby, but also give the mother a sense of security, and the family relationship is more harmonious and happy.
And what about the families whose mothers hold their babies?
If it is simply that the father does not want to hug, then it can only be hugged by the mother. Such a father lacks the sense of responsibility and understanding of his wife.
There is another possibility, that is, the baby must be held by the mother, not by the father.
However, the fathers still have to consider a question: is it that they are not accompanied by the baby enough, or for other reasons, the baby is reluctant to be close to the father?
This type of mother is more likely to become a "single parent" mother.
This so-called single mother, one is a single mother in a formal "widowed marriage", and the other is a husband who cannot stand irresponsibility, so she chooses to divorce and truly become a single mother.
But either way, the happiness index of the family will be relatively low.
The reason why dad accompanies the baby less, the mother should find and learn to "break through"
The father accompanies the baby less, the baby and the mother are closer, and naturally do not want the father to hold. At this time, Bao Mom also has to find the reason why dad accompanies the baby less, and then "prescribe the right medicine".
Reason one: Bao Dad is not reliable, Bao Mom does not let go
There is a type of bao mom, who is worried that bao dad is "unreliable", and let bao dad hold a baby is not at ease.
From the perspective of being attentive, men really don't have the heart of women, so it is always slightly rough when taking a baby.
From the perspective of proficiency, many families are mothers with babies, coupled with careful hearts, the proficiency of babies is naturally very high. And Bao Dad has less time with the baby, less time to take care of the baby, and the proficiency is naturally not enough.
These two reasons are stacked up, causing Bao Mom to be uneasy about Bao Dad, so she is reluctant to let go of the matter of taking the baby to Bao Dad, which is also reasonable.
Mom breaks through the way
But the mother needs to understand a truth: in addition to the delicate maternal love, the baby also needs rough fatherly love, the gentleness given by the mother is very important, and the bravery given by the father is also very important.
Moreover, proficiency and responsibility are also "practiced". The best time to "practice" is not to wait for the child to grow up, but in the child's most "cute" infant period, which is the easiest to stimulate the father's "desire to protect", so that parent-child feelings, sense of responsibility, etc., more quickly established.
Therefore, the most important thing for this kind of mother is to break through herself and rest assured that she will hand over her child to her father. I am really uneasy and can watch "from a distance".
Reason two: Bao Dad has no time, Bao Mom can't do it
Outside the male protagonist, many families within the female protagonist, Bao Dad will be very busy for the sake of family livelihood, when he comes back, the child may be asleep, and when he gets up early to go to work, the child may not wake up.
The time for the baby to contact the father is very small, and the contact with the father will naturally be more resistant.
Mom's way of breaking through
This kind of mother, in many cases, may be more distressed about her husband, working so hard outside, so that more housework, the task of taking the baby, etc. are taken to themselves.
However, Guo Ma wanted to say that it was not necessary.
Because for a father, a short period of time with a baby will not make himself more tired, but will feel more relaxed, which is the power of the baby. Therefore, as long as Bao Dad arrives home, he will safely hand over the baby to Bao Dad.
Reason three: Bao Dad does not bring a baby, Bao Mom is forced to become a "single mother"
There are also some babies who don't bring babies, simply because they don't want to take babies, want to play, or think that taking babies is a matter for bao moms.
Bao Dad's "widowed" behavior will make Bao Mom feel that she is the same as a "single parent" mother, one person with a baby, one person worrying about the baby, which is very tired.
Today's women, who are very independent, may face such marriages and may turn "like a single mother" into a "real single mother".
Bao Dad, who really has no sense of responsibility at all, is directly unsaved.
But just want to be lazy Dad, Bao Moms have a way. In fact, Guo Mama herself is also a mother who likes to be lazy, and she also wants to play with her mobile phone and watch a drama, but she is on the side, and it is definitely not OKAY. Therefore, Guo Mom thought of a good way, that is, to familiarize the baby with the word "daddy".
The first pistachio will be called, that is, Dad, which of course is due to the "positive" guidance of Guo Mom.
On weekdays, Guo Dad is at home, but whenever he has nothing important, Guo Mom will say to Pistachio, "Oh, what about Dad?" Let's go find Daddy! ”
From time to time, Guo Mom will also pretend to be "careless" weak in front of Guo Dad: "Oh oh, my waist hurts!" ”
After a long time, Guo Dad is used to playing with pistachios every day, and Guo Mom naturally ends up relaxed.
Pistachio Mom message
To tell the truth, Guo Mama feels that there are very few husbands who are really sensible in life and will feel sorry for women. Lovers who are in love are not the same as married men.
Women are older psychologically and more mature in life, so in the face of immature husbands, we need to find ways to make husbands mature. Children, women's weakness, etc., most of the time, will be very useful.
Marriage needs to be managed;
If you want your husband to bring more babies and hold babies, you also need the accumulation of emotions and responsibilities.
I am a pistachio mother, with a pen in my right hand, a child with my left hand, and becoming a 60-point mother and a 90-point self is the goal I am working towards. Friends who like me can follow me and let's discuss the issue of parenting and self-rearing.
PS: the picture comes from the network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete!