Kotaro Isaka, a Japanese writer, once said that the thought of being a parent who doesn't have to pass an exam makes it really scary.
Although this article is not to blame parents, it hopes to give some inspiration to some parents who happen to face these problems and have a new idea on the issue of education.
Adolescence is a process that everyone goes through, and it is also the most frustrating period, in which the relationship between parents and children will continue to decline.
It is said that adolescence is also a rebellious period, and children and parents at this time are like Mars hitting the earth, and both people have their own tempers and often make unpleasant trouble.
Parents feel that the children in this period are like changed people, obviously so well-behaved and cute and obedient children in the past, it is simply their own intimate cotton jacket.
But why after puberty, the child is like a changed person, no matter what to argue with the parents, rebellious words, parents even can't help but like, now in front of this person, is not their own child?
When parents experienced the hardships of pregnancy in October, and experienced the pain of childbirth before giving birth, for children, parents almost unconditionally paid.
As the child grows up little by little, he begins to learn to call his parents and stick to his parents at any time, although he is physically tired, but his parents must be happy in their hearts.
But as children go to school, the time spent with their parents each day becomes less and less, parents begin to be busy with work, and communication with children begins to decrease.
However, as parents and children, they cannot ignore their children, and occasionally ask about their children's grades, and when they do some bad things, they will stop them in time.
However, many parents feel that they are already very busy between them, and they are already very tired to take into account the children's learning and other issues, but the children are sometimes not a good look, and they are always angry.
Especially in adolescence, the child's personality is becoming more and more obvious, the temper is getting bigger and bigger, and parents are easy to conflict with their children, and even some will do it.
Some time ago, there was a news report on such a set of data, in more than 3,000 middle school students to conduct a survey, of which 56.28% of the students said that they were extremely disgusted with their parents, or hated their parents, 19.22% of the children were too cold to their parents, 13.13% of the children were disgusted with their parents, and 6.62% of the children would be afraid of their parents.
Only 4.75% of children like their parents.
When this set of data is sent, many parents feel unbelievable, why do the children they have worked so hard to raise will resent themselves? Or even hate yourself?
Think about when you were a child, how clingy they were at that time! If you leave one step, you will be reluctant to hold your own hand everywhere you go, why is it like an enemy now?
In fact, this is a process that every child will go through, the process may be short or long, but if parents can make good use of it, this period is a good period.
Generally speaking, the outside world calls this period the "14-year-old phenomenon", which means that the child enters a typical rebellious stage at the age of 14.
The so-called rebellious period is that the children's minds become sensitive, they are unwilling to communicate with their parents when they encounter things, and a little thing will also affect their emotional fluctuations, of course, such a situation will also directly affect the child's emotions.
At this time, the relationship between parents and children has entered a rigid stage, unwilling to be close to parents, impulsive to do things, not listening to persuasion and so on.
These are the most salient features of children with the "14-year-old phenomenon", but they are also the most malleable.
If parents want their children to change their attitude towards their own disgust, then parents have better do these points.
The first is to set the bottom line for the child at this time, the adolescent child is like a small lion, any little thing can make it explode, become uneasy and anxious.
So parents should set a good bottom line for their children before this, what you can do, absolutely can not do, such as can not fight, can not violate the law, as long as do not violate the law, I can forgive you and so on.
With these, children feel the trust and understanding of their parents, and will be willing to act more than they do, they will not become reckless, and they will not do things regardless of the consequences.
Secondly, parents must also know how to reflect on themselves, many times, parents themselves have some problems, but parents are unwilling to admit that they have problems, blindly accusing their children.
It is said that "parents are the first teachers of children", so why is the child not a mirror of parents?
If parents can't even do what they say, they won't admit their mistakes, so what authority is there in the hearts of children?
Finally, to accompany the child, many parents always feel that they are too busy, there is not so much time to accompany the child, but if the child's growth can be absent, is the parent still important in the child's heart?
Even if you can't have a child for 24 hours, parents are best to plan a time to accompany their children and let their children feel the warmth of their families, which will make their children have a stable mentality.
What do you think about that? Did your child ever have a "14-year-old phenomenon"? How did you solve it? Welcome to leave a message to discuss!
Regarding children's psychological, educational, personality and other problems, we can answer your questions, and I hope that my suggestions can help everyone and let every baby grow up healthily.