1. The leader drank too much, and put his arm around the man: "Pick whatever bag you want." Saying that, the hand touched the man's thigh, and the man pushed his hand away. The leader did not hesitate and put his hand on it: "Don't like the bag? The car is always done. Saying that the hand began to slide again, the man pushed him away in disgust. The leader hugged him tightly: "Quite stubborn, want to be a cadre, which department you say!" Man: "Dad, sometimes I really want to kill you!" ”
2 When I was in high school, I had a buddy in my dorm room called 100,000 Whys. No matter what had to be discussed to come up with a result, this day I don't know where he knew that the light bulb could not be taken out of his mouth. So he thought of a way to think it was very safe, using a plastic bag to cover the bulb and put it in, and directly breaking the bulb after getting stuck, so that the glass slag would not fall into his mouth. I'm now with a RT-Mart bag in my mouth on the way to the hospital...
3. Ten years ago, Xiaoming was beaten up by the small outside the school to collect protection fees, and he hugged his head and cried on the playground. At this time, the female tablemate, who did not look very good, kindly went over and handed her a tissue. Xiaoming was very grateful to her, immediately hugged her and cried bitterly, ten years passed, she became Xiaoming's wife, once Xiaoming's wife drank too much, and learned in the mouth of her drunken wife that she was looking for someone to beat Xiaoming.
4 Yesterday my birthday, my husband spent more than 800,000 yuan to buy me a variety of bags, jewelry as gifts. I was very happy, but when we ate candlelight dinner together, I didn't know why, and suddenly I was very nervous for a moment. I hurriedly asked my husband: You said that if you were not so rich, you would still buy me a gift, is it so good for me? My husband didn't even want to answer directly: Of course not, how could I have no money!
5. My wife asked me to buy an apple to go home from work, and the watermelon I bought was not ripe. The wife is angry: Tell you to do something badly, no one thing is done well. Today I was scolded by the manager, and I was in a bad mood, so I also roared: Then what do you do well? Wife: I do everything better than you do, the husband I am looking for has a good temper, no matter how I scold, I will not return the mouth, and the daughter-in-law you are looking for will scold people all day long!
6. A woman encounters a robber on her way home.
She knelt down and said, "Big brother, the flyers in my hotel are only 1900 salaries.
Can you not rob the money? It's really not okay. ”
The robber cried and said, "Sister, I also distribute leaflets at the gym.
Because there is no performance now to come out to rob, are the same as you go. ”
The woman packed up her clothes and was about to turn away.
The robber said, "Take this leaflet of mine, or my other colleagues will stop you from robbing it." ”
7 When I was unwell, I went to the hospital to see a doctor, and my uncle followed me, and when I entered the office, the doctor said to me, "Little friend, what's wrong with your father?" I said, "He's not my dad." The doctor said, "It's not your father, you're still coming together." I said again, "He's not my dad." The doctor said, "Children should listen to adults." I saw the nurse next to me and I said, "The three of us came in together, is she my mother?" ”
8 Xiao Li, a chef who graduated from Lanxiang in Shandong Province, handed me a report on applying for a salary increase: "Director, I will get married next month, but this salary ..."
I said, "I understand, I'll do it..."
On the night that Xiao Li's salary increase report was approved after layers of review, I went to Xiao Li's house to announce the good news.
Xiao Li listened and said very calmly to the boy next to him: "Thank you Uncle quickly." ”
I said, "That's fast." In a flash, the child can talk. ”
Xiao Li grinned, "They are three years old..."
#Funny##Funny paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #
![A childhood playmate, far away from Anhui, a few years ago with a son and a daughter in the adoptive mother's home settled, the birth mother is also very supportive, and then her husband also came back together, but this year heard her divorce consumption[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)