The two men are at the same table, have a good relationship, and come back together from school to see a doctor. When he entered the school gate, the uncle who guarded the door asked kindly: "Are you doing the base?" A small face held back and said:

The two men are at the same table, have a good relationship, and come back together from school to see a doctor. When he entered the school gate, the uncle who guarded the door asked kindly: "Are you doing the base?" A's small face was suffocated, and he said, "Uncle, what I like is a woman." B said: People are asking us how high we are.

2. In 2080, an old man was lying on the bed dying, and he called his grandson to the bedside and said, "How much salt did I buy 60 years ago?" Grandson: "Grandpa, there are only 5 packs left." Grandpa: "Let's put it all away when we're cooking." Sun Tzu: "How to eat so much, it will die." Grandpa: "I think when your grandmother said that I was stupid, saying that even if I couldn't eat so much salt until I died, I was almost out of my mind now, and when I went down to find her, I must convince her, otherwise it would be very faceless." ”

3, my object of this person is a little road blind, this morning when driving to his home, we just walked to the mouth of the village, he hurriedly stopped and asked: Uncle, do you know how Xiao Jie's family is going? Grandpa pointed the way, looked at him for a while and said: Hey! Aren't you a little Jay? Won't you go home now? "Suddenly I was laughing in the car and rolling forward and backwards, and I suspected that he had rented a family to deceive me.

4, there is a goddess-level girlfriend, in the high-speed rail as a flight attendant. Once she checked the ticket, and then said to the migrant worker uncle: "Your ticket is to Shanxi, this bus is to Hunan!" Uncle was stunned for three seconds and said, "Oh my God! The girlfriend hurriedly comforted him and said that he would wait for the next stop to rearrange a train back to him, but the uncle said: "Does the driver know that he is driving in the wrong direction?" The girlfriend did not hold back for a moment and laughed out!

5, I drove Bentley to Shenzhen on a business trip, in front of a high-end hotel, want to find a parking space to stop casually. Who knew that a security guard uncle came over, and he said not to stop, and I asked, "Why?" Uncle Security said: "This is the place to park high-end cars, only Mercedes-Benz BMW can park!" I was confused: "My car is not high-end?" Who knew that the security uncle in turn was a sentence: "Don't think I don't know, you are an upgraded version of BYD!" ”

6, just went downstairs to buy fruit, saw a grandfather sitting on the edge of the flower bed, the whole body cramps, the mouth groaned, I had walked, looking back at others passing by, I went back, I wanted to help grandpa call two ambulances, he wanted to blackmail me is also a matter of a few money, if you don't care about his life. "Grandpa, you're all right" result... He opened his eyes and looked up at me, smiled a little, and continued to do his weird fitness [sweat]. Laugh at me to death [teeth] [teeth] [teeth] [teeth] [teeth] [sneaky laugh].

7, I still remember when I first fell in love with him, he looked very literary and artistic, and Sven spoke and was gentle, especially caring about people, and dressed neatly. Who ever thought that after getting married, the whole rough old man, bearded and sloppy hair messy, clothes dressed crookedly, do not pay attention to hygiene, do not like to dress, all day and my son grab snacks to eat, not to say, I have to stop him from grabbing snacks to eat!

8, the thief cut open the anti-theft window into my house, I picked up the bone knife and looked at it, picked up the kitchen knife and thought about it and put it down, and finally after careful consideration, I wanted to open the door to the thief and said: Grandpa, get what you want, go, the corridor light is broken, you pay attention to your feet

9. Once upon a time, there was a young master who ate, drank, and had fun on weekdays, and was idle, spending all the inheritance left by his father, and near the end of the year, he did not even have the money to buy chai, rice, oil and salt. Chinese New Year's Eve night, the impoverished young master wrote a couplet of self-deprecation and posted it at the gate: "Do frugal things, live a year of indifference!" After reading it, an old scholar in the village sighed and added a word to the joint head of the couplet, which became: "Do frugal things early, avoid the year of indifference!" ”

10, recently I have a buddy married, I got on the gift of two hundred yuan, just this day the unit has something, can not go, but do not go I feel too much loss. As soon as I had the opportunity to move, I gave Grandpa Niu, who was watching the gate of the unit, two pounds of corn and hired him to go to the banquet. In the evening, Grandpa Niu came back drunk, and I asked: Have you eaten well? Grandpa Niu said: No, I only ate half full. I wondered: Then why don't you eat enough? Grandpa Niu said: Half of the corn you gave me is bad, of course I will only eat half full for you...

1 Near I have a buddy married, I went to two hundred yuan of gift money, just this day the unit has something, can not go, but do not go I feel too much loss. As soon as I had the opportunity to move, I gave Grandpa Niu, who was watching the gate of the unit, two pounds of corn and hired him to go to the banquet. In the evening, Grandpa Niu came back drunk, and I asked: Have you eaten well? Grandpa Niu said: No, I only ate half full. I wondered: Then why don't you. Well fed? Grandpa Niu said: Half of the corn you gave me is bad, of course I will only eat half full for you...

12, the eldest uncle and the second uncle are almost seventy people, and the eyes are very bad. A few days ago, there was a rural market in our hometown. Then they went to the market together. The eldest uncle led a sheep to sell, and the second uncle held a chicken to sell. As a result, the sheep pulled a slip of sheep eggs, and the second uncle saw it and shouted: Big brother, your black beans have been sprinkled out! Uncle looked back: Look at your eyes, still playing with eagles!

13, there was a big mother in the ward, suddenly out of breath almost out of breath, scared the person next to him hurriedly called the doctor, we rushed over to give her some relief, I looked at a grandfather next to me and said, you still call a younger family member to come, how do you take care of patients when you are so old? Only to see him immediately excited, doctor you are mistaken, I am the patient, she is the nurse I invited over...

14. Today, I had dinner with the rich woman, and suddenly I received a call from my brother. He said he was in a car accident, and I immediately drove to the hospital in a Mercedes. When they arrived at the hospital, the brother was in a plaster cast and was bargaining with a great uncle. I hurriedly asked: Didn't you bump into anyone? Brother: No. As soon as I heard it, this uncle wanted to blackmail people, so he planned to say two words. Before I opened my mouth, I listened to the uncle say, young man, you give the evaluation, he drove not only knocked out the door of my house, but also broke the chicken coop, I let him accompany 1,000 yuan how much? Hearing this, it turned out that this cargo bar car drove into people's homes.