Two drunkards chatting together. "I'm damned. I lost my speech that day and told my wife about the fact that I had been married before. "I'm even more damned!" I was drunk and gaffed, and put me planning to come again in the future

Two drunkards chatting together. "I'm damned. I lost my speech that day and told my wife about the fact that I had been married before. "I'm even more damned!" I lost my word after drinking and told my wife that I planned to marry again in the future. ”

2, you are in France, an hour by car, you are in Germany, another hour, you are in Poland. At the same point in time, you are in Beijing's Chaoyang District, take a car for an hour, you are in Chaoyang District, another hour, you are still in Chaoyang District...

3, I went back to my mother's house with my wife, and the family sat together while eating and chatting! Suddenly my wife said and scolded me again, my violent temperament is simply good, quickly stood up and pointed at her nose and scolded you again, she really scolded more and more fiercely, in fact, I am a humorous person! The key moment can still control themselves, the spirit machine said with a smile, haha really obedient, just sat down, so the old man and the brother-in-law also put down the chair and sat down slowly, this is like a family! Do you think so? My position at home, but I want to know, my wife is strict!

4, I have a frostbite on my hand, and my wife also has a frostbite on my ear. In the morning, the frostbite cream was almost empty, and my wife took the rolling pin and rolled it out and threw it away, and smeared it all on my hand: "I will go to the pharmacy to buy another one later, you use it first!" She laughed like the warm winter sun. I was moved. She then said, "Hurry up and come back tonight to continue washing the dishes."

5. At night, the wife heard her husband sobbing, and she was busy waking her husband up and asking, "What's wrong?" The husband said: "Dreaming that I am married again." The wife said, "Isn't that nice, didn't you already want to find another one?" Cry, be happy. The husband said, "When the cave is uncovered, it is still you!"

6, a single lady went out at night to hang out, was robbed by robbers, he searched on her once and did not find money, he was going to leave. She went up and grabbed him and said, "Don't go, you keep searching, touch it for a while, and I'll go home and get you the money." The robber beat her up and said, "You're insulting my profession!"

7, a friend got married, drank too much at noon, and took a nap at his house. It was almost 5:30 p.m., and I got up and told a few other friends to leave, and the shrimp had to say that they would have dinner and play mahjong for a while.　　I was furious: today people get married, let's go early, let them do what they should do.　　They are: They are all young people, and the things that should be done have long been done.　　Me: You know a mao, Lao Tzu said counting money... Count the money...

8, there are three students, sitting in the same boat, suddenly, the boat leaked a hole, water leaked in. The first student said, "We buckled the boat and poured the water down." The second student said, "Let's dig another hole and let the water that comes in flow out." The third student said, "Don't move, there must be a ghost here, everyone is leaking water, and how can the water leak upwards?" "After a while, the ship sank...

9, at noon, I was thirsty, and went to a commissary to buy a bottle of iced tea. Half of it was found to be a cottage, had already drunk, and did not say anything. One look at the cap, another bottle. Immediately tell the boss that he has won the lottery, and give another bottle. The boss said very calmly, you look closely. I looked, cao, and bought another bottle...

10, yesterday I went out with my girlfriend, and I planted a strawberry print on my neck. When I got home, my dad accidentally saw it and asked me what was wrong. I said I pinched it with my hand. My dad said you pinch another one I look at, I squeezed hard and finally pinched out one, it hurt me to death! During the day today, I saw my girlfriend again and asked me how I had an extra strawberry around my neck. I said I pinched it myself. She said, pinch one more and I'll see...

1 You feel my mathematical level, one day I want to eat instant noodles, but I only have 4 glasses of 25 degrees of water, how can such a low temperature make the noodles open? So I poured 4 glasses of water together, and guess what, wow, I got a big glass of boiling water at 100 degrees!

12. Humorous joke: The three-year-old daughter was sent to her grandmother's house. Grandma knew that her parents, who had been having an awkward fight at both ends for three days, had quarreled again, so she joked with her daughter: "When Mom and Dad quarreled, which side were you on?" The daughter tilted her head, blinked her eyes, and remembered for a moment before telling her grandmother: "Stand by the bed." ”

13, before going out in the morning, the wife mysteriously said: At night, give you white and tender rice dumplings. When I came home from work, I opened the door with anticipation and found a familiar figure with his back to me, a green robe, and an orange belt. I suddenly understood, isn't this a rice dumpling that has come out of life? I rushed over and hugged... Suddenly, the wife's familiar voice came from the kitchen: Mom, have you changed your dirty clothes? Come and teach me to fold reed leaves!

14 The first thing that attracts attention in this space is the walls, with notebook-sized paneling, a deceptively simple technique that creates a poetic sense of symmetry and impeccable precision, and at the same time, furniture shapes and decorative textures blend together!