1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we've all seen each other the night before, how's that?

1, just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we all met the night before, how come we don't remember me so quickly? Wife: What night is it?

2. Some time ago, my girlfriend has been showing off her male god to me. Girlfriend: My male god is very sunny, just a little snoozy, but super loves to be clean, and often praises me for being a good girl! Yo! Can't see it, this cargo can still chase the male god in hand! Until one day I stumbled upon their chat history: Oh, I went to the shower, I have to sleep, you are a good girl. Me: Ahahahahaha!

3. My wife asked me: "If Fan Bingbing has a full score, how many points can I get?" I replied, "Well, 9 points." The wife was happy at that time: "It seems that I am a little worse than her." I despised her and said, "I said 100 out of 100." "Alas, don't say it, rub the medicinal wine!"

4, there is no electricity at night, I go out to check whether the meter is tripping, and pull the meter down and pull it up. Back and forth a dozen times, there is still no electricity. I called the property and told the property that it looked like a line problem. The property also pulled the electric gate down several times. At this time, the door was opened by a big brother with a frightened face, and saw the property and said excitedly: Big brother, you look at my house, there will be electricity and there will be no electricity, strange and frightening, scared me to sleep all night.

5, the wife was taken in by a seventy-year-old upstart, I asked the upstart for 80 million, and divorced my wife. After a month, I got a female model married, and now the family is happy. On the weekend, I accompanied my daughter-in-law to the seafood market to buy sea fish, and when I came to the vendor, my wife squatted in front of the fish bowl to pick and choose. At this time, one of the fish in the fish basin jumped up, and when it fell, it splashed the wife's body. The wife came to the sentence: Boss, give me a title for this, I want it, Xiao Fan, I see how I go back to clean you up! It scared me into a cold sweat!

6, it is already early in the morning, the little uncle called the girl he liked for a long time. After connecting, he could hear that there was something wrong inside. The little uncle said: You are busy first! But the phone did not hang up, and the little uncle saw that she had not hung up the phone. So, the little uncle put the mobile phone to his ear and listened to the sound on the phone. After about 20 minutes, the girl on the phone smiled and said: Have you heard enough? I've been running for 20 minutes.

7. In the middle of the night, a female colleague sent me a confession message, and my tears fell when I knew the truth. Last night when I was lying in bed and preparing to sleep, my mobile phone suddenly received a message, I opened it, it was a confession message from a beautiful female colleague: I did not believe in love at first sight, but since I met you, I believed; before I thought I would be lonely for life, but since meeting you, I suddenly felt that I was no longer alone in this life; you are just a bright moon, guiding the direction of my love in the night; you are like a fiery red sun, giving me warmth in the cold winter; your smile is constantly haunting in my mind. It's hard to get away for a long time; I like you, would you like to be my boyfriend? Looking at the hot love letters sent by female colleagues, my fingers were trembling with excitement. I suppressed the excitement in my heart, just about to send out "I do", the female colleague sent a message: Brother, you see this confession message, I want to give my male god a confession, give some advice. Give you advice,

8. Relying on the relationship of a rich woman, he entered an insurance company as a salesman. The company has a rule that if you are the first in three months of performance, you must be fired. As a result, I worked for two months, and the performance was the first to last. So I didn't plan to work for the third month, and I resigned directly. I didn't expect that the particularly beautiful female colleague of the company chased after my family all the way. Crying and saying: You are gone, what should I do? My mother was in a hurry and asked, "What have you done to people?" I was puzzled and said: It doesn't matter? Colleagues cried and said: Auntie, don't misunderstand, he is gone, won't my performance become the first to last!

9, chat with the old mother at the dinner table, ask her how she looked at my stupid father, the old woman said, the days were bitter, others introduced your father, as soon as they met, fat heads and big ears, they thought, this family must have good food, and they will eat well after marrying! Which Cheng thought, he ate steamed buns and drank cold water are fatter than others! I don't know why that guy has such a strong absorption capacity.

10, live in my cousin's house for a few days, every night was woken up by the sound under the bed, I turned on the light to take the mobile phone to the bottom of the bed and did not find any rats! After lying down, the sound was loud again, I was angry, I found a mop, a flurry of pokes, quiet! I slept in a beautiful and beautiful way! The next day, the little nephew held a dead turtle and cried and asked, who did this? I......

11. I wanted to eat meat last night, so I made my favorite braised pork. I went downstairs to throw away the garbage and met my beautiful neighbor at the door, whom I had long admired. She lived alone, and she asked me: What are you doing??? I said: I took a break today and made braised pork at home. She said: I want to eat too. As soon as I heard it, I was not happy and immediately closed the door and ignored her. I thought to myself something so delicious, you want to eat it, and there are no doors.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #