1, just entered the company and the female leader fell in love, the female leader said to me on the birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded,

1, just entered the company and the female leader fell in love, the female leader said to me on the birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded, and I happily went up and hugged it and kissed it twenty times. The female leader was angry: "Let you kiss it, how did you kiss it so much?" I can only give you the money to kiss it!" I slapped her angrily and said, "How do you talk doesn't count, you're stupid?" Now what to do, for the sake of integrity, I seem to have lost all my career love!

2, go downstairs to get takeaway, see the cleaning aunt cleaning the trash can. There was a large cardboard box next to it, and I glanced at it. There are Apple notebooks, switch game consoles, Hermès bags, and even Ferrari keys! I asked, "Is this yours?" Aunt Jan: "Yes, just a young man gave it to me." I asked, "So good?" Aunt Jan: "His girlfriend broke up with him, and these were all given to him by his ex-girlfriend." ”

3, the brother-in-law at home to play games, the sister leaned on the brother-in-law and asked the brother-in-law: Do you love me, or do you love games? At that time, I was in the middle of the competition, and when I answered the game casually, my sister slapped her and left. When the game was over, the brother-in-law pondered for a long time and chased out and found his sister. The brother-in-law said: Why don't you ask me who I love the most? The sister stopped crying, wrapped her brother-in-law and asked movingly: Then who do you love the most? The brother-in-law slapped him in the face: Of course it is a game, if it were not for you, I would not have been able to become a champion!

4, saw a news on the Internet, why do men and women want to kiss when they are in love, but after marriage, they don't kiss much? Asking my wife the reason, she said to me slyly: When in love, as soon as men and women meet, they want to know what kind of food the other party is eating, but they can't ask and ask, so they use their tongues to probe through kissing. After marriage, the two families eat the same meal, so kissing is naturally not needed. I:......

5, this day, a drunk man took a taxi home, said good fare 20 yuan, to the downstairs drunk man to the driver 60 yuan, the driver did not understand. At this time, a woman's voice came from upstairs: "Is it too much!" The driver replied to the woman: "That's right, more than let you help him up." The drunk grunted, "That's how I go upstairs every time." ”

6, today Kaijie just returned home from work, suddenly his father said with a grudge: You see, our family dog, before going out for a walk, not long, gave birth to a litter of pups for the family. And you? Going out and mixing for so many years, such a big person, don't say let me pack my grandson, so you can also take a girlfriend home for me to see. You, you, are not even as good as dogs. ay...... After saying that, he sighed, shook his head and left... Kaijie: ...

7. Today I took two bottles of Maotai to find the old man to drink, and I said through the strength of the wine: "The daughter you educated is different from others, she never checked my private money." The old man smiled and said, "That's because I've been checked by your mother-in-law for a lifetime of private money, and I know it's very bitter, so I teach my daughter not to check her husband's private money." I was almost moved to cry: "Thank you, you can think about me." Suddenly, the old man handed me 10,000 yuan: "I am also thinking about myself, this is my private money, first deposited with you." ”

8. During the university period, I use weekends to earn extra money by working part-time outside the campus. Studying medicine, there was a Chinese medicine teacher nearby who was short of people to go. One day I met a couple who brought their daughter to see a doctor, and I grabbed the soup medicine and instructed: boil once per pack of 100 grams, three packs a day. The man said to me: You give me 120 grams per bag! I asked: Why? The man leaned over and whispered: The child's mother is a foodie, and she will definitely steal some medicine for the child!

9. A rich man took a fancy to a beautiful stewardess and decided to propose to the flight attendant. He bought 999 roses, then bought a diamond ring and drove a sports car to the community where the flight attendants were. The flight attendant's family lived on the eighteenth floor, and it just so happened that the elevator broke that day, and the rich man had to climb the stairs. Finally, I was so tired that I was sweating profusely, and it was the flight attendant's mother who knocked on the door and opened the door. At this time, the rich man's tired legs were weak, and his legs knelt in front of her mother without heeding the call! The flight attendant's mother was overjoyed, immediately took the rose, and then showed a shy expression!?

10, buddy just angrily came to my house and said: "The supermarket waiter is really idiotic, can't calculate the account!" Me: "Miscalculation is a common thing, so why make a fuss!" Dude: "Yesterday it cost 733 yuan to visit the supermarket, I gave the cashier 1,000 yuan, she looked for me 377 yuan, idiot!" Me: "You're just an idiot, you can give 800, why give 1000?" "Dude was suddenly silent....?

11, in the evening, a good girlfriend of the wife came to the house to drink, I came to be a guest, the wife saw that there was no wine, so she went downstairs to buy wine. My wife's girlfriend, blushing, walked to my back and supported my shoulder and asked: You didn't choose me so much, but did you choose her hotly? I looked at the mobile phone that my wife forgot to bring at the dinner table, which I usually did not leave, and said coldly: You proved with your actions that my original choice was right!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #