There is no revenge, just because she did not say a word, her daughter was slapped at school. Whichever thing is changed, it is estimated that they are very angry. However, this mother suppressed her temper and solved this matter perfectly with a high emotional intelligence approach, which is really impressive.
Xiu Xiu is 7 years old, is in elementary school, she is very cheerful, often love to joke with her classmates. On this day, she was talking to her table mate Dada, and suddenly Dada got angry and threw Xiu Xiu a big slap. Xiu Xiu was stunned by this sudden slap and sat on the seat and cried.
It turned out that Xiu Xiu and Dada showed the pendulum, and the newly bought stationery box was very beautiful, which was bought with pocket money. Dada was extremely envious, and looked at it repeatedly. At this time, Xiu Xiu joked: "Your mother only gives you 5 yuan of pocket money every day, your mother is a stepmother, right?" As soon as Dada heard this, he felt insulted, and in a rage, he punched Xiuxiu in the mouth. And Xiu Xiu did not expect that Dada would suddenly be so angry, she felt that her face was very painful, and she cried.
Xiuxiu's face was a little red and swollen, and her eyes were crying into big eye bubbles, and when she came home, her mother saw her daughter's abnormality. After some questioning, the mother learned that her 7-year-old daughter had been beaten when she went to school. Unexpectedly, however, mom's approach was unexpected. The mother did not condemn her daughter's tablemates, and did not ask her daughter to fight back, but helped her daughter find problems from herself!
The mother told her daughter: "You know that Dada is the child of a divorced family, you should not laugh at him as a baby brought by his stepmother, and give less pocket money." Also, this happened at school, Dada beat you, you should sue the teacher. ”
Subsequently, this matter let the teacher know, the teacher justice, for Xiuxiu punished Dada who beat people, and also warned Dada: "Children should not do anything at any time to solve problems. ”
At the same time, the teacher also made the matter public in the parent group, calling on parents to take Xiuxiu's mother's handling method as an example and teach children to deal with contradictions in a positive way. The parents' group was full of lively praise, and everyone was saying that they should learn more about Xiu xiu's mother's practice.
So, after the child is beaten, what do high emotional intelligence mothers do?
Step 1: Sort things out first and deal with them fairly
Mothers with high emotional intelligence know how to think differently, and will not ignore the impartiality of the whole thing because the child looks very miserable in front of her. Mothers with high emotional intelligence will first sort out the ins and outs of the child's mouth. Then, find the parties and bystanders, ask everyone what is going on, and restore the truth of the matter. Only in this way can we facilitate the next step and deal with the problem more objectively and fairly.
Step 2: Don't be angry, don't be extreme
Mothers with high emotional intelligence have the ability to control emotions, and mothers do not jump like thunder because their children have been beaten, and deal with things with extreme behavior. For example, some parents learn that their children have been beaten, and they will take their children to find each other and return them.
But mothers with high emotional intelligence can get rid of anger, control themselves, deal with problems without being extreme, and not protect their children.
Step 3: Find problems from the child himself and make plans
Mothers with high emotional intelligence will take advantage of the opportunity of their children being beaten to teach their children the truth of how to behave in the world. For such mothers, every time the child's "failure" experience is a rare textbook case, which can improve the child's ability. For example, Xiuxiu's mother did not let her daughter call back, but also helped her daughter find problems from herself. Tell your daughter that when speaking, you should pay attention to the other party's pain and not expose the scars. Language is an art, and even a child should know how to speak. Otherwise, when they grow up, children will still suffer big losses.
Smart mothers have a pattern, can find problems from the children themselves, see what to do now, and be better for the children in the future. However, some mothers who are eager to protect their children only care about the present, do not want their children to be bullied, only want to export evil gas for their children, and are unwilling to accept the fact that their children have been beaten.
However, in contrast, mothers with high emotional intelligence and children who are educated will be relatively more sleek and sophisticated, and the probability of arguing with people in the future is also relatively low. Very few children grow up to clash with people and be beaten. Perhaps, this is called "eating a long and wise"!
There's a famous saying: "If IQ determines your success, then emotional intelligence determines how long you can succeed." "If a mother wants her child to have a future appearance, she can't deal with her child's beating in an overly aggressive way." After all, force cannot solve the problem, the key is to use more emotional intelligence. When the child is beaten, the mother must quickly tell the child in advance what should be said.
After the child is beaten, the mother should immediately inform the child of these two things
After finding that the child has been beaten and understanding the causes and consequences, the mother must quickly instruct the child to do these two things to avoid the consequences.
The first thing to do is to teach children how to protect themselves. For example, if you are beaten, tell the teacher immediately. When you get home, you must tell your parents quickly. When leaving the scene, remember to actively avoid serious injuries to the body.
The second thing is to weaken the child's sense of revenge and timidity. Neither can the child be afraid of being beaten, nor can the child have the idea of revenge on others. Mothers can tell their children that the upper and lower lips will inevitably collide, and going to school is to do a good job of unity. When you meet someone who bullies you, you pay attention to protecting yourself, reducing interactions, and ignoring them. But they're also just two eyes and a nose, and you don't have to be afraid of each other. Another point is that children should learn to talk, learn to do things, and reduce friction with others.
Do you think mom is right to do this? Why?